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Critical Analysis #2
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chitsank
Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 88


0 posted 2002-08-14 01:38 AM


There was a big cat
Which three kittens begot
One was the colour of milk
With its fur as soft as silk
One was the colour of the night
With its eyes shining so bright
One kitten was brown
Which had a scary frown
Though the kittens were of different colours
The cat did not show any favours
While the cat was playing on the masters lap
On the couch the kittens were enjoying a nap
The black and white duo were curled in an embrace
The contrast in their hues was waning without a trace
Though this scene was a treat to gaze
Like an evening flower I bent in disgrace
Coz what dawned on me stinged my heart
Why with our racist policies we do not part
Why make living on this earth a burden
When we can transform it in to heaven
Oh humans let us overlook and neglect our difference
And enjoy the fruits of harmonious existence.

[This message has been edited by chitsank (08-15-2002 03:11 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 chitsank - All Rights Reserved
caterina
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 188
Canada
1 posted 2002-08-14 06:19 PM



A nice message--  harmonious existence sounds wonderful, and we must always keep that hope in our hearts.

Thankyou for sharing.

caterina


Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648

2 posted 2002-08-14 11:13 PM



Hi!

Nice poem!

All following modifications are just suggestions.

The Message the kittens preached


There was a big cat
Which three kittens beget. [begot]
One was the colour of milk
With its fur as soft as silk.
One was the colour of the night
With its eyes shining so bright.
One kitten was brown
Which had a scary frown.
Though the kittens were of different colours
The cat did not show any favours.
While the cat was playing on the masters lap,
On the couch the kittens were enjoying a nap.
While the black and white duo were curled in an embrace,
the [contrast] in their hues were [was] waning without a trace.

Though the scene was a [blessing to my wondering] gaze, like an evening flower, I bent in disgrace.

It dawned on me and stung my heart.
Why with our racist policies we do not part?
Why make living on this earth a burden
when we can transform it in to a heaven?

Oh humans let us overlook and neglect our difference and enjoy the fruits of harmonious existence.

Comment:

Since the poem uses kittens to represent humanity living in racial harmony, then the cat who begets them, by logical extension, can be understood to represent God. Every other aspect of the poem must develop logically from this premise.


BTW

Your rhyming style reminds me of Emily Dickinson's. Adds variety, Nice!

chitsank
Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 88

3 posted 2002-08-15 03:05 PM


Thanx caterina for reading and commenting.
chitsank
Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 88

4 posted 2002-08-15 03:10 PM


Thanx radrook for reading and comenting. I will Take care that such errors reg. tense will not occur.
Do u also write poems?

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