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Phallusy
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Phallusy |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Phallusy "Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality." --TS Eliot A snake arose between the milk and nuts, between my spoon and almond flakes, it twirled and lifted from the pristine surface, scales stuck together by sugar and lactose. It must have been hot, very hot. It reached eye-level, turned its head, confused, first left and right and finally a semi-circle to face me, forced his mouth and tongue into the shapes of certain words that somewhat resembled English: "Will you stop? Will you stop strangling me?" Ah, I thought, this is not a snake, it is a dragon and I the perpetrator of cultural contamination: I am the imperialist, the white male scourge, I'll plunder, rape, and pillage in the tradition of Chinghis Khan. "No, not that," he hissed responding to my thoughts. "Will you stop the reading?" Ah, I thought, I am the knight of Shelly and this the serpent of the garden, I am the gladiator, the fighter who destroys Beezelbub in one of his infinite disguises. "No, not that," he hissed responding to my thoughts. "Will you stop reading, seriously?" Ah, I thought, this is the snake of ignorance And I, I am the bringer of light, I shall destroy conquer, eradicate this pestilence through the acuity of my mind. "No, not that," he hissed. "I am you and you are me, 'we all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.'" And he disappeared. Bewildered, I paused before returning to my cereal. The flakes and nuts tasted like cardboard or like what it was, paper drowned in milk. I took it from my saliva and read, "Never mind, too late." I heard a plop and saw a leech, its middle arched, then another and another and above me hundreds of black, elongated creatures, falling in turn, to start again their ritual of movement, not toward me but away. [This message has been edited by Brad (03-01-2002 07:16 PM).] |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Just a typo, but the first "No not that" needs a comma, not a period. Very strange poem, the snake reminds me somewhat of The Raven although I am not sure that his message is as decipherable. The T.S. Elliot quote sets the tone for the poem well. Overall, I enjoyed reading this work but am not quite sure what to make of it in the way of meaning--a nice "escape" though. Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Thanks, I missed that. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
At the moment I have my flu-goggles on, but wanted to tell you: I'll be back for this. Until then... just an excellent, enjoyable read (with, not quite speed bumps, but rough spots in the road here and there  ... but we'll get to those, later... later...)~EC polishing her critiquing teeth... [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (03-01-2002 08:48 PM).] |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
While eating a bowl of cereal this morning, the images and certain phrases from this one kept creeping back to me--that's a good thing, I think. Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I want some of what Brad was smoking when this came to him [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (03-04-2002 10:07 AM).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ROFL@Pete brad - sweet. ok, at first i didn't like the inclusion of that *%&^% beatles song title... but when i went back and reread it, the jarring mix actually fit a lot better... i think part of that is just that i HATE that song. LOL seriously though, the assumptions [you] make to the "snake" (ahhh, amazing symbolism there, very tactfully and masterfully done BTW) are 'classical' up to that point, but quite appropriate as, at the climax, things often become either skewed or clarified (depending on the person). belting out the finale with a clash like that only emphasizes the differing tones of during and after. uhmm... the leeches threw me though. don't get me wrong, it's a very interesting (creepy, lol) image... but it doesn't seem to follow completely with how i interpreted the rest of the poem. rather, it felt almost as if a segue into another idea that hadn't been presented yet... peace C |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Thanks, I appreciate the time. Chris, I think the leeches are necessary to show the consequences, but I admit I was worried that it gave the piece a too Buddhist feel and that's not really what I intended. The way you see the Beatles tune is exactly what I was shooting for (but also read it for the meaning as well -- the world as enclosed in a veneer of brightness). I don't want to explicate the idea here (such as it is), but I will say that the last image is an attempt to capture the feeling of wanting to be used and the disappointment one sometimes feels when he or she is not. If your response was 'what?', then I got what I wanted. If your response was 'so what?' then I failed.  I should point out that the images came first and the idea developed around them, not the other way around. I think this leads to more interesting poetry (at least sometimes) even if it may frustrate those who read a poem and think that an abstract, paraphrase of a poem is the same thing as the poem itself -- "Yeah, but what's the point?" Brad |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
it did that brad! i wanted to come back and add that this was a very cool play on words. C |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
This is a Sandy Skoglund photograph put to words. Not just weird, but truly surreal. The wordplay is awesome (I rarely think 'oh, wow' at a title alone, but the alternate speeling is just so rich with sensual sound and innuendo, I fell in love with that alone...) and the original thought of 'huh??' gave way to a more profound statement of 'huh.' on the re-read. very enjoyable, I really liked this. "Love is a piano |
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sunbunbun Junior Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 21Durham, NC |
Awesome! |
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