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Critical Analysis #2

Inauguration

PearlsB4Swine
Member

since 2002-02-01

Posts 130
where the heart finds me

0 posted 2002-02-23 07:03 PM

Inauguration

he barely had enough temerity
   to kneel at an alien altar
   with ultraviolet eyes that shone in dark
he could fill an abysmal pause
   with the oratory of Nero while whimpering curs
   murmured their nods to his eloquence
Yes! Yes! they all agreed
   not at all feeling the pounding of temple membranes
   that signaled their pathetic butchered beliefs
he brooded, watching his palm-tenant audience
   writhing in a proposed four-year euphoria.
and, with a wave of his ecclesiastical hand
   swept all the voters unto a gold-rimed presidential plate
   feasting on their adulation
   imbibing on their idolization
with a full-belly-pregnant term of office

Streen
Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 169

1 posted 2002-02-23 09:29 PM

I think that this is perhaps too wordy at times. That's the only critique I can offer at this point (for I am not as good at it as some others are) other than perhaps the message is not clear enough because it is too wordy. There are also some conflicting images it feels like.

Other than that, it is an interesting write.

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