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My Mama's Waltz
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My Mama's Waltz |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
My Mama’s Waltz The anger in your screams could scare a small girl close to death. It was enough. Yet you snatched my hair with your left hand and your husband's belt with your right ~ then you took the lead. And we waltzed. We tripped the kitchen table round. Plastocene souvenirs were knocked from the windowsills. As your anger grew with the mess you made of me, the more determined you became that I know how evil I am. And Mama, you had a strong will. So we waltzed. When you grabbed my wrist we two-stepped into the wall and smashed your knuckle And every time you missed me you hit me harder with the buckle and beat time on my body with orange nicotined fingers clenched around that leather boa. Such waltzing was not easy. We dipped into the dining room. The tablecloth is swept along with your emotion razing the milk-glass fruit and bowl and matching candlesticks. Still we waltz. Papa comes home and tries to halt our dance; "What is going on?" he tries. You explain by screaming my badness at me again as we promenade into the main ballroom, the parlor, As we waltzed. And so we dip and glide "until this ungrateful, stubborn daughter of yours sheds some tears." Not accustomed to these steps Papa sits this one out ~ too shy to cut in. We do this dance quite often you and I. We have many reasons or none. It makes little difference and differs little. Our fling is nearly over though because each time I miss a turn I fall and I am red and swollen and have long since tuned out your words. And, Mama, I am tired. Such waltzing was not easy. by Panne A found piece from My Papa's Waltz by Theodore Roethke. All comments appreciated. Please ask for permission before you copy my work to your files or a greeting card. Thank you. Panne [This message has been edited by Panne447 (edited 04-18-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Panne447 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Oh my dear Panne, I don't know what to say. I cannot believe this anger toward a child. Having been raised without spankings and few scoldings and having raised my own without anger, I cannot understand. But I am so, so sorry. Children are small such a short time and it should be a happy time. Love, Joyce |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Dear Panne: You and I have been to the same dance. Too bad we didn't know each other so we could have shared the experience together. I have yet to write about it. Maybe never will. Betty Lou Hebert |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
You certainly have written about child abuse in a very creative way..the analogy of the waltz and for many the music lingers on. Healing can take many years. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Once I read the title I was surely going to mention that it came from My Papa's Waltz, but I am glad you mentioned it at the end. I enjoyed your poem greatly. Very sad piece, very.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Yes, me too, as "My Papa's Waltz" is one of my all time favorite poems. Your own "found poem" is an interesting spin-off, Thanks for sharing, Debbie [This message has been edited by Romy (edited 04-19-2001).] |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
just wanted to say that i read "My Papa's Waltz" after i read this one at allpoets.com and thought that you have maintained your individual voice well...it must not have been easy??? hope all is well kai  |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Joyce - thank you. Betty - thanks - it is a strange dance for sure - I would have loved to been and had a friend that we could share this pain. Songbird - thanks - I am glad you liked the analogy - I found it almost 25 yrs ago in a book and like it myself - and since we were doing found poems in school at the time I decided this was one I wanted to use for my life tho - I didn't share it in school. lol DD - thanks. usually my found work acknowledgments go above my piece but I apparently missed it on the cut and paste and when I went in to add it - I wasn't able to get the piece to enter down so I came to the bottom and put it there. It is nice to know someone else who has read his piece - you are the first one I ever met who ever heard of it. Debbie - WOw not only 2 people but 2 poets who heard of his work and who is a favorite of one - Honestly- you are the only 2 people who has ever heard of it - I had to keep a printout of his piece in order to let readers 'see' the difference when reading mine. Thanks for reading and finding interesting. Kai - wow - cool - I am glad you did read TR's work - thank you for that and for your input - it was actually very easy to maintain my own voice as this was a true event and it flowed as fast as and like ink from my pen about 2 in the am - when I woke that morning - I was quite shocked and happy (that I got it out of my system) and have since left the anger, hurt and hatred behind me. So TR was my savior. I know you must be busy with finals and all but as soon as your done - write a note- I missed our letters - Panne |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Dear Panne, I tried to find "My Papa's Waltz," on the internet. They danced all around the subject giving me bits and pieces of information, but did not give me the poem. Where do I go? Joyce |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Joyce, Here ya go... Smiles, Panne Theodore Roethke My Papa's Waltz by Michigan lad, Theodore Roethke, whose father ran a nursery & greenhouse business in Saginaw. MY PAPA'S WALTZ The whiskey on your breath Could make a small boy dizzy; But I hung on like death: Such waltzing was not easy. We romped until the pans Slid from the kitchen shelf; My mother's countenance Could not unfrown itself. The hand that held my wrist Was battered on one knuckle; At every step you missed My right ear scraped a buckle. You beat time on my head With a palm caked hard by dirt, Then waltzed me off to bed Still clinging to your shirt. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Oh, thank you dear Panne. This one made me laugh, yours made me cry. I like this line "My mother's countenance could not unfrown itself." Poor put upon woman. Love, Joyce |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
I think there are alot of us out there that have done this dance before. It was brave of you to write about it. You did a wonderful job. Suzanne |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Joyce, You are welcome. I hit keyword and typed in his name and the first thing that came up was My Papa's Waltz - His did not make me laugh or cry - it made me angry - I saw that line as her utter and complete weakness and lack of caring for this little boy. It is amazing the different things we all get out of it when reading a piece - one reason I like critiques- Thanks again. Suzanne - thank you so much for your input and for stopping by to read. Panne |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Words will never suffice the hurt in my heart for the lost childhood.   |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Dear Pann. I saw his poem as different from yours. I didn't think the daddy was trying to be mean, just exhuberant in his drunkeness and you're right, if I had been the mother, I would have snatched the child and protected him. But I didn't see it as child abuse as I did your poem. Love, Joyce |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Wow Panne. My heart sinks when I read this one. What sad images you have painted here and the comparison to a waltz....haunting. I'm really at a loss for words in trying to describe my feelings about this one other than "I really appreciated this marvelous work". (I think I'll start posting a few over in this forum. My stuff sinks so fast over in Open 13. I haven't done anymore pantoums lately, but if you get a chance, check out "Where Are You Norma Jean" in Open. It's one of those my muse did.*S*) Cya Mike |
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