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pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa

0 posted 2000-12-22 03:34 AM


My mind seeks constantly
the light of reality and truth

yet my soul resides
in shadow and darkness

therein lies the paradox

The heart torn between
mind and soul,
resides in chaos

tortured

the poet cries out
to a callous world,

with words ripped
from a wounded spirit...

release me



the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


© Copyright 2000 pegasus111 - All Rights Reserved
Wikket
Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340
Santa Clara, CA USA
1 posted 2000-12-22 09:39 AM


WOW!  All I can say is 'Powerful!'  You have done a wonderful job of releasing a lot of pent up emotions in this piece...although, from prior experience I know it doesn't get rid of all of the negative feelings.  Don't worry pegasus...you are surrounded by friends here who appreciate you and your work!  Good Job! Excellent!     
--Jamie


"Who does not love the Titanic?
...We all go: only a few, first-class."
--David R. Slavitt, 1983

bestgirl911
Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551
Clio, MI , United We Stand
2 posted 2000-12-22 10:01 AM


Peg....

I think I am speechless...this is, yeah I am.
Remember your poet friends are always here.

Best

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
3 posted 2000-12-22 08:52 PM



Powerfully mournful!  The emptiness, confusion and restlessness to  be free leaps out of your poem and the reader cannot help but feel the same pain you speak of.  I relate very much and wish you the best!  

Take care,
Melissa


The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams



wordancer
Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809
VA
4 posted 2000-12-22 09:00 PM


Peg, what a dramatic difference this makes by just changing the line format.  I can’t believe it, it has so much more of a impact now with the reading, both visually and aloud, giving a greater intensity to it.  Yeah, I went back and checked the other version….the dancer grins…

Question for you on the first stanza…what do you think about transposing the placement of “mind” and “soul”.  Is it not our imperfect minds that constantly fight the darkness of our thoughts, needs and desires; and our souls that strive for the perfection of enlightenment and trueness?  Just a thought that occurred to me with this reading--wordancer

My soul seeks constantly
the light of reality and truth

yet, my mind resides
in shadow and darkness



"Come...dance with me, into my world of words."

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
5 posted 2000-12-23 01:29 AM


Wordancer..thank you for your comments..I decided to change the spacing for more dramatic effect..glad you think it works better..I had considered the very thing you suggested when I first wrote the poem but finally decided that man uses his mind to think at the conscious level..in the "light" so to speak..the soul is directly affected by decisions of the mind and may be cast into darkness if poor decisions are made..at least that was my thinking at the time..Perhaps this piece is a bit too strong for this holiday season of rejoicing...

I value all of the comments on my work by my friends here at passions

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
6 posted 2000-12-23 06:52 AM


Dear Pegasus; You have created a masterpiece here that we all can relate to, in one degree or another. I so remember this raging battle myself. The battle is over for me and the mind and spirit are one now, in harmony and peace. The answer for me was complete and total surrender to Gods Love. Ellie

Belief is a truth held in the mind; faith is a fire in the heart.

Joseph Fort Newton



wordancer
Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809
VA
7 posted 2000-12-23 07:10 AM


GMTA—Yeah, I thought about that as I was drifting off to sleep, that you probably already tried that combination.  Then I consider why you might when with the one you did, and came to the same conclusion.

Too deep for the season, nope…we all need to think whenever we can., even if you make my head hurt with it!  

-wordancer


Suzanne Arlene
Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2000-12-23 08:12 AM


Wow I agree that it is the mind that sometimes dictates and the soul suffers for it. I have been questioning these things as well. Wondering why we are so disconnected from ourselves and how to reconnect everything so it works in balance. But you have worded it so well. Wonderfull poem.
I enjoy reading your stuff. Suzanne

kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
9 posted 2000-12-24 05:37 PM


I've been here, maybe still am to some degree.. You are right, it is the heart that is torn in this conflict, and for the poet the words he writes are both an expression of the feelings and an attempt to resolve it.   Powerful and thought-provoking is good in any season.

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2000-12-24 09:14 PM


my mind seeks constantly
the light of reality and truth

loved these words, pegasus....cos i am on this quest myself...

i wish i can be more constructive but WOW! was all i could say when i read this piece...sigh....

merry xmas

shira
Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 88
Hamburg, PA
11 posted 2000-12-27 12:34 PM


This is so incredibly emotional and deep... I love it. I've been there - I AM there, and these words are so true. Very very nice piece.
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
12 posted 2000-12-27 04:00 PM


Release can be found....in a poem like this... well done !
Solstice Son
Member
since 2000-09-19
Posts 469

13 posted 2000-12-28 05:45 PM


I am often amazed at the people of this world..that...if they had ever bothered to write a word or two....would see so much more clearly the trials and frustrations most basic to us all in many ways....

This poem....is excellent and should be made more ready for the mental troglodites of our era....

Sol

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