the other side of the story...

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dena*mystrawberries
Junior Member

since 2000-10-15

Posts 15

0 posted 2000-12-05 01:45 AM

wilted iris

what did you expect?
man turned boy in insecure fields of wilted irises-
your ego, bruised, blackened, purple, wilted iris-
the vase of stagnant words that spilled,
recklessly,
showed your stem,
rotting,
wilted iris.

you wanted praise?
anger floating in the cesspool of withered leaves-
your jealousy, brittle, blackened, green, wilted iris-
the jaded petals that fell,
needlessly,
showed your stem,
decaying,
wilted iris.

vindication? hardly.
friend turned employee in the life-mulch -
your pride, sodden, blackened, brown, wilted iris-
the battered leaves that drooped,
shamefully,
showed your stem,
crushed,
wilted iris.

pegasus111
Member Elite

since 2000-07-27

Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa

1 posted 2000-12-05 10:44 AM

someone obviously has incurred your wrath..glad it's not me..

nice post.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

2 posted 2000-12-05 10:49 AM

Hi Dena.
I enjoyed the image of the wilted iris.
You carried it well right until the end of the poem. Great read. And Welcome to the Pub.

Joy

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

3 posted 2000-12-05 11:05 AM

Your comparison of a bruised ego to a wilted iris is great. I've seen the iris as it slowly dies and have never thought beyond that. Thank you for the image!

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

4 posted 2000-12-05 02:43 PM

I like your style

Life has got to chnage,
Nothing stays the same,
Soon it will be time,
For me to move on.

dena*mystrawberries
Junior Member

since 2000-10-15

Posts 15

5 posted 2000-12-06 12:08 PM

thank you all for your responses...this is the second poem ive ever written..have to admit--it was difficult..not really my thing..actually wrote it in response to something that was posted here...thank you for the welcome

Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-04-06

Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere

6 posted 2000-12-07 02:55 AM

Very glad it's not me this is aimed at..

I like it a lot though.. Welcome to the pub and glad to have you here.. Hope to see more of your work. Always,
Broken Winged Angel.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

7 posted 2000-12-07 03:28 PM

Hi Dena, Welcome to passions family, I really enjoyed this and the format

please check your email for a special greeting

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Wobbly Head Bob
Member

since 2000-05-15

Posts 299
Virginia, USA

8 posted 2000-12-07 03:38 PM

This was imaginative and visually stunning!!! Many things turn out to be the brittle fallen iris.

dena*mystrawberries
Junior Member

since 2000-10-15

Posts 15

9 posted 2000-12-07 11:27 PM

you guys are soooooo cool. thank you...this really made my night...will work on more..have to admit that this was done out of anger and not really sure if i could do it again..lol...with your encouragement i think that i just might try.

thank you all,
dena

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