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INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

0 posted 2000-11-26 04:08 PM



ever so gently
tapping the tent roof, foretell
white November morning

© Copyright 2000 KKunnen - All Rights Reserved
pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
1 posted 2000-11-26 04:28 PM


this presents a lovely image..

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-11-27 04:53 AM


hmmm One day I will experience this  
lovely image indeed!

Maree  

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2000-11-28 03:25 AM


sorry for being dense but its snow that is tapping on the tent roof, i presume?

i like the way you put it....
"foretell white November morning"

Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
4 posted 2000-11-28 11:11 AM


INclan,
A tent in November? an image of our vulnerability to the weather I guess, I like this!
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has passed
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)



Joannak
Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 121
Indiana, USA
5 posted 2000-11-29 09:04 PM


I enjoyed this very much, INclan....
I can hear the snow falling as I read this.
Good to see you posting again, I look forward with great anticipation to reading more from you.

Joanna


What better way to become immortal than to wake up each day and write? Ray Bradbury



INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
6 posted 2000-11-30 02:26 PM


Thank you all who responded. For Dark Angel, Kaile, and Dennis the gensis of this poem came during deer-hunting in the UP of Michigan.  I was laying awake one night listening to my dad, brothers, and uncles snore when I heard a very faint tapping sound.  We use a plasic tarp as a rain-fly when camping in the Fall-Winter. Not really snow but also not really sleet...I could hear the hard flakes hitting the fly.  I knew there was going to be a white dawn.....hence the poem. I fell alseep with a smile on my face......

INclan

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
7 posted 2000-11-30 06:28 PM


Hope we get snow this year, lovely thoughts

Life has got to chnage,
Nothing stays the same,
Soon it will be time,
For me to move on.


Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
8 posted 2000-11-30 08:54 PM


INclan,
  Thanks for the explaination, not being a hunter I did not think of a tent, but being in Michigan, I know of the joys of winter(LOL)
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has passed
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2000-11-30 10:05 PM


White= snow
snow=cold
cold=bad
bad=bad
I don't like bad. hehehe.......
anyway great haiku!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2000-12-01 12:17 PM


hi INclan,

thanx for the explanation....like Joannak, i look forward to more haiku from you....

btw, i believe i have commented on your haiku in open#1 months before..i noticed that they do not adhere to the normal 5-7-5 syllable count....is that what you have written known as free-form haiku?

*perks his ears eager to learn*

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
11 posted 2000-12-04 07:02 AM


Thank you Maria, I too look for snow.

Dennis, Hey winter is...fun (LOL). I was born and raised in Michigan. Life is always a little better when I can get back there.

Ah Dopey, it is all about what you are used to.

Kaile, you are indeed graceous and kind.  Thank you.  Concerning Haiku in English, from time to time poets in languages, other than Japanese, do stray from the traditional 5-7-5. I try to follow a traditional path however, to be true, the poem must fit the thought and not the thought the poem.

INclan

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