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pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa

0 posted 2000-11-19 05:35 PM


ahem...I posted this in Crirical Analysis months ago and they dissected it pretty good!!   so I revised it and asked for another analysis..well, no one read it the second time. Tell me what you think...it's written in iambic pentameter.
----------------------------------------------------

Tis trivial how rigorous the test,
Or trials of measured cruel dimension,
with tenacity and resolve, this quest
Survives this duel with just intention.

Not strife, nor salty sweat, nor precious blood,
deter the virtuous from sacred task,
no dire counter power can stem the flood,
no quarter is given, no quarter asked.

Hear clearly now the sounds of awful strife,
battles waged with ferocious deadly might,
not one among them fears for loss or life,
naught matters save the search for purest right.

Tempt not so foolishly these goodly knights,
with riches piled or maidens softly bare,
in stealth, or other wise, these crass delights,
be bitter chaff, and wilt in dark despair.

Be not sour or ignoble to thy cause,
or strip thyself of righteous dignity,
for heavy is the price when given pause,
in loss of honor and integrity.




the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


© Copyright 2000 pegasus111 - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-11-19 08:44 PM


Fabulous poem, Pegasus! Great message too! I love it!

Denise

compassion
Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135
USA
2 posted 2000-11-19 09:03 PM


Agreeing with Denise, great message and wonderful write.  
ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
3 posted 2000-11-19 09:07 PM


A noble poem written with dignity and purity of iambic pentameter. A knights poem, a gifted poets poem. Well done!  Ellie

Belief is a truth held in the mind; faith is a fire in the heart.

Joseph Fort Newton



kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
4 posted 2000-11-19 11:22 PM


I had to read this a little to get the meter, but like the poem, and the thoughts.  

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2000-11-20 01:10 AM


Hi Pegasus  

I loved your poem, to me it flowed beautifully, the Iambic Pentameter seemed well done as well. I am learning how to use Iambs and Trochees etc still, so am not 100% sure. but feel that you have used it well  

Enjoyed it muchly  

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
6 posted 2000-11-20 05:49 AM


all of you have been very gracious with your replies..thank you. This piece was a struggle of will.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
7 posted 2000-11-20 05:38 PM


pegasus, i wanted to say a few words about this but the search facility isn't working and i wanted to check out the CA post first ..any chance of mailing me the link to the original version in CA?

thanks

philip

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
8 posted 2000-11-20 06:40 PM


I would, phillip, if I had your email address..

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
9 posted 2000-11-21 06:47 AM


you HAVE pegasus...try clicking on the little yellow envelope icon to the right above my reply....  

philip

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