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monique
Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369
Louisiana

0 posted 2000-11-19 01:28 PM


i love to read poems that rhyme
with everything in sight
i lost my mind on the way home
as i was thinking about the globe

i am trying hard to do it
the thing we all commit
i really don't know
if i should say no

or say yes
to impress
my fancy
in my pantry

i wish i had more time
to think sublime
but my hour is not much
to find plush

hey! this is fun
when i can  run
for the pleasure of it
but i gotta split

monique


© Copyright 2000 monique - All Rights Reserved
monique
Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369
Louisiana
1 posted 2000-11-19 01:42 PM


the thing we all commit = rhyming nothing else intended
i am trying hard to do it = it is not easy for me to rhyme
to impress my fancy = my little ability to write
in my pantry = it could be my head
but i gotta split = i can't write a long poem

kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
2 posted 2000-11-19 02:37 PM


Thanks for the explanation, Monique. Rhyming can be fun, and it can be pretty, but sometimes things just work better without, don't they?  Anyway, I enjoyed your poem, both the rhymed and the unrhymed parts.

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
3 posted 2000-11-19 04:02 PM


Monique,
  Rhyming can be fun, just a warning , as you spread your wings to rhyme, watchout for them Orange Caddilacs!
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has passed
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)



pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
4 posted 2000-11-19 05:26 PM


I am happy to see you post a rhyme,
it will improve, just give it time.



the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


Stephanos
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA
5 posted 2000-11-20 12:15 PM


(this is poetic reply # 3
  for the rhyming man you see...)


To some the rhyming man indwells
with close companionship.
To others he's a passing friend
to perk their weekend trip.
to others still, a foreign face
that greets them from a ship.
And that's okay because you see
he plays a different part.
Sometimes he's much more centric
like the pulsing of a heart,
as some to write without his aid
can scarcely even start.
But then there is the freer kind,
who thinks his brassy aid
is needed only sparingly
like when some point is made
with poigniancy.  Of using him
too much they're well afraid.
For they have seen abuse
of all his pageantry and poise,
his grosser forms so often blared
from mouths of poet boys.
And so they're more inclined to verse's
less obtrusive joys.
But how the advocates of him
still bid us bless the past.
They say the rich traditions
found in rhyming words will last,
while mostly novel tendencies
of poet pens die fast.
To some the rhyming man is large
and talks in every line.
To others he is little used
and far from a divine.
I think I'll grant him sleep
in neither temple nor in trash.
for fools will tend to worship him,
yet hating him is rash.


Some use rhyme alot (like me), others don't.  
Either way is okay as long as respect is given either way.
We can always learn and grow as we are stretched
by a different outlook.

Just keep writing and most importantly be yourself!  

Thanks for the poem.  I enjoyed and all of the replies.




[This message has been edited by Stephanos (edited 11-20-2000).]

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
6 posted 2000-11-20 12:32 PM


bonjour monique!

so this is where you've been hiding....lol......as for your rhyming. you're doing ok Monique ..in fact, more than ok     believe me if the rest of us could write half as well as you can in a second language we'd be very proud of ourselves..

hey and this time you provide a code to unlock your secrets as well  

see ya soon, au revoir et bon nuit (or should that be bonne nuite or bonne nuit ..sheesh?)

Philip

hey how about one of your multilingual poems like you used to do a long time ago in the newsgroup?  sorta half french half english..remember?

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
7 posted 2000-11-20 12:36 PM


hey just remembered ... i'm sure you already have this, but do you know about online RHYMING DICTIONARIES, here's a good one, all the rhymes you could possibly want...lol:

http://www.rhymezone.com/


see ya

P

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2000-11-20 05:34 PM


Hi Monique, I enjoyed your poem  
especially liked these lines .....

or say yes
to impress
my fancy
in my pantry

Nice  

Maree < !signature-->

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"


[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 11-21-2000).]

monique
Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369
Louisiana
9 posted 2000-11-21 06:11 PM


Thank you everyone for your comment
And by the way i also love poems that do not rhyme
Dennis i am glad you can joke about the orange Cadillac i have a bad habit at looking at the worst scenario
Bonne nuit Poertree!

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