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Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

0 posted 2000-11-15 11:41 AM



Breath On Ice

Snow is falling again...
slow, sensuous, floating lazily to earth
beauty belies it’s frozen nature.
Study of individuality
crystals unique on window-pane
exactly alike, yet never the same.

Mind trips in reverse...
layers of dusty time reel away
examining, seeking understanding.
Who the “i” happens to be
collage of others ideas or imput?
communion or collective? like the snow?

Looking for the “i” hidden inside
wondering, questioning...I, me, mine?
tis poetic curse? or random glory?
Never to be certain, seeking self
writing of countless other’s stories
laughing as today assumes they are mine.

Mine indeed, when “i” escapes me
when within...snow, ice beguile
existence as one of so many.
Individual...sure; yet only a part, a cog
screaming at foot of melting snowman
where does he end and snow begin?

Snow is falling again...
somewhere in the winter of mind
beauty gift wrapped with frozen.
Each individual building a whole
ice crystals form sheet on window-pane
exactly alike, ‘cept one has heartbeat.



bleeding...

"Tis ink coming
from his arm,
Captain!"


© Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
1 posted 2000-11-15 06:55 PM


loved this, specailly the ending  

Sometimes you have to let go and move on,
But never let go of the memories.


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-11-15 07:16 PM


Daniel~
What a unique piece.
I was caught by the wonder of the snowflakes -
as they touched upon your thoughts.

'Snow is falling again...
somewhere in the winter of mind
beauty gift wrapped with frozen.
Each individual building a whole
ice crystals form sheet on window-pane
exactly alike, ‘cept one has heartbeat.'


*Sighing deeply*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-11-15 10:55 PM


Very beautifully done, Daniel! Lovely!

Denise

Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...
4 posted 2000-11-15 11:06 PM


Thank you dear ladies!
can't tell you how important your
comments are to my work...and me, me, me -lol
Don't even know where this one came from...
one of those when reread one doesn't
recognize as one's own...
ya know?


bleeding...

"Tis ink coming
from his arm,
Captain!"


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
5 posted 2000-11-16 03:21 PM


Well if you don't claim it, I certainly will... That's some darn good writing there Mr. Bleed!  Sometimes the ones that come from nowhere are the best.  Like a friend of mine once said "That's great! What caused you to write that?" My answer "I don't know. I just started writing."  Go figure!  Peace!  
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