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Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz

0 posted 2000-11-07 02:14 PM



Ya never believe what happened to me!
I hired a lawyer to draw up this contract ya see
I gave him yar crayons, a brand new box
And whipped cream and cherries and a two dirty socks
Now would ya believe it, this moron in law
Said, "I want pen and paper, I don't like to draw"
So I tried to explain, "A contract we need!
Preferably one we can sign and then eat
The socks ya can keep, I used them before
For gooey fine soup and stew solicitor"
Now up to this moment I can't understand
Why he walked out that door without shaking me hand
He looked a bit pale and while opening the door
He shook his head, mumbling "Bakery Store!"
Now there's a thought! So I grabbed me stuff
Off to the Bakery, where I met Justine Uff
Who had just been run over by a pale looking freak
Muttering "bakery, bakery", disappeared with a squeak
Man, she ordered pastry for the complete Justin Clan
Took the baker's wife 10 days to fill up the van
I got kinda hungry, so I went to the Pub
To get meself some of that gooey stew grub
And 2 Ale of course, cuz what would a man be
Without Ale to wash the goo down instantly
So here I was, playing with the holo-remote
When a Moose in disguise walked in, wearing a pink petticoat
Now King ya know me, me middle name's insanity
But this got me laughing! I was down on me knees!
Where I found littl' Tex trying to climb a bar stool
He'd been at it for weeks, drooling for a beer cool
His slobbering really came to an outburst
And even tho' the poor guy was almost dying of thirst
He did the one thing a good Texan can do
And contributed his slobber for fine gooey stew
Well back to the Moose all dressed up in pink
He walked right up to Pooh and ordered a drink
Got his hooves on me blank contract, without me fiat
And before I knew it, turned it into a paper hat!
I was just about to ask: 'Got any fam'ly in the 'Stute?"
When I sat on the remote control and dang! … hit mute!
So I'm sorry King, no contract, not even a paper hat
Oh and I ate the whipped cream and the cherries for Red!

© Copyright 2000 Justin Nuendo - All Rights Reserved
pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
1 posted 2000-11-08 08:38 AM


Dr. Suess I presume?...made me smile..I needed that today..good job.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
2 posted 2000-11-08 08:25 PM


Well dang me there Justin, "There's no contract!" you say.
With legal notation I was hoping to play
Now you say the suit ran, for the door he made haste
Then you jumped in a van, in search of cooked paste

I've heard of this pastry, these things they call doe-nuts
But deep-fried deer testies add pounds to one's beer gut
The next time you're hungry do me a favor please
Get bear claws with jelly, and make sure there's no flees.

As for the sock n'stew, not much more can you do
But for real kickin' goo you must throw in the shoe.
And what ever you do, don't eat from the pot Pooh
Cause honey is his due. Eat that and he'll kill you!

As for Doctor Pink Moose, now that really is strange
There must be a screw loose, his fashion scene deranged
In winter he's partial, to wearing orange duds
While hanging spud facials, "Open Season on Fudds!"

Speaking of potatoes, have you seen our dear Fudd?
I miss his hobbit toes, always squishing in mud.
Where are the brothers Justin, the two of Kase and Thyme
Your two Stuter cousins, with their most insane rhyme?

And where is that black cat, the cat that was all that
Blinking a Morris tat, that said where it was at?
And what of fairy tink, who couldn't hold her drink
For fear of what we'd think cause she'd grow skin of mink?

And my Lady in Red, who I can't rule without
Where once we were to wed, seems not within ear shout.
And the lonely Nurse C, what has become of her?
Has she gone out for tea? Is she still in a blur?

Answer these my queries, what happened to the Stute?
Are we the two to tarry, or should we hit the mute?

Jeannie
Junior Member
since 2000-03-17
Posts 40
Wherever I'm needed
3 posted 2000-11-09 12:03 PM


What have they done to you Doc?
Can this here Jeannie play knock, knock?  
Yet rumor has it you've gone away,
do you think for Jeannie you could play?
Remember the crazy adventures we had,
could it have been really all that bad?  
First thing Doc, the pink petticoat goes
unless you would like me to add some bows?  
Like all of us here, everyone else knows
you look better wearing simple clothes.

Now who's this new Tex fellow here?
Trying so hard to gather himself some beer,
stunted growth prohibiting successfulness.
Would you like Jeannie to grant you tallness?
With a wink and a spin you'll be drinking Gin,
could it really be such a terrible sin?  
As with Jinn around everyone eventual flies
to destinations of ultimate surprise.
Having a height of six feet would be paradise,
or you could sit on the floor with a pair of dice?  

Andrew, could you catch me a minute of time?
I need to make plans before the clocks chime.
Please sit down here next to this stool,
for with my gift the whole Stute you'll rule.
Now take my hand and gaze at the chandelier,
believe me Andrew you have very little to fear.  
Count backwards from one hundred down to ten,
then imagine your with Lady in Red in the den
dancing together like two chickens in a pen.
(Blink) Oh my, what happened, he looks like a hen?  

Justin N. help me please before he gets cooked,
there must be something serious I overlooked.
What Justin? Andrew is laying porcelain eggs?  
For now I need to idle him by disabling his legs.
Okay here goes (Blink) Oh no, now he's gone
and he's needed for breakfast at the break of dawn.  
Check outside Justin maybe the grass was greener,
even though I always thought the king to be keener.
I got it! Pooh could you fetch me up a chili weiner?
That alone should return him to his usual demeanor.  

Doughboy
New Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 4

4 posted 2000-11-09 05:09 PM


A chili weiner you need?
Is that what I hear?
A pale man running me over in the street,
Yelling "Bakery, Bakery",
I'm Just in thyme to see all the mockery.
So a baker you need,
Is that what came to my ears?
Well then let me tell you I'm happy to be here.
My specialties are large,
Me mum's as big as a barge,
What can I serve you?
Lets see, we'll start with the weiner for Andrew,
Now how about some of that stew for you?
Lil' Tex may I have some of that drool,
Never mind, I'll get it from the stool,
How bout a special drink for the Moose in pink?
An Ale is all you seek?
If there's a need just give me a yell
Or better yet, ring my bell.
I'll be back in the kitchen,
Your hunger I'll have smitten.
You DO have a kitchen don't you good dears?


Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
5 posted 2000-11-09 06:35 PM


'scuse me there folks , now wait just a minute . If you saw a pink suit, there's no way I was in it ! They clash with my fur ,and that's Justin Truth ,these colors are best left to those in their youth . Oh , and why Drew , did you drag me in here , kicking and screaming , and where is my beer!
I've questions for all , this is but a start,
seems like some-one else could have played up this part , but if you insist on dredging this up , you'll get what you asked for , 'cause I'm one sick pup.
Bar-keep , this rounds on me for the sin of desertion.
Doc

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 2000-11-09 07:58 PM


Cluck, cluck… Why couldn't I have been a duck?
At least with a quack I could sell Aflack
But dressed as a chicken, I'm now in the kitchen
Afraid of foul harm, and being sold to Foster Farm.

At best Jeanie could have made me a rooster
Than I could strut my stuff, a real chick booster
But I'm droppin' eggs, like some common chicken
And porcelain to boot, instead of goosey golden

Now where should I hide my feathers and such
Till Jeanie can retrieve me from this foulest clutch?
Perhaps in the freezer, or maybe the stove
No way they would think I'd hide in one of those.

Now wait a minute. An idea I've got!
Down in the basement with all the gut rot!
If a chicken I must be, than marinate me in
Some blue bottled Bombay, my favorite gin.

…three hours and three bottles later… a clucky song is heard from the Pub basement: Oh give me a hoooommmmeee, Where the Boozen Blue Bellied No Cluckin' Duck Free Rangin' Chicken of the Kitchen, X-King of the Insane Rooooaaaaammmm!  Hick!  And the Mooooossseee and the Jeeeeneeees allllll plaaayyyy! Hick!


[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 11-09-2000).]

Nurse Crachet
Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318
They know where I am!
7 posted 2000-11-10 02:31 PM


All right, Listen one and all,
I will always be the one who calls
out orders and runs the Stute,
so let none of you ever dispute.
Jeannie here thinks she can change
and in her mind hopes to rearrange
the rank of official members in rule,
this can only manage to create a duel.

Take warning here, make no mistakes
cross my line, there'll be some shakes,
not chocolate, vanilla or strawberry flavor,
they'll be the kind nobody can savor.
I'll bet the wrath within all of you
will challenge me to what's thought due.
Yet when the curtains close tonight
the verdict for solution will be out of sight.

[This message has been edited by Nurse Crachet (edited 11-10-2000).]

Doughboy
New Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 4

8 posted 2000-11-10 03:43 PM


What is with all that racket?
Oh, Nurse Crachett,
Could you put that chicken in a straight jacket?
All that singing and such,
I cant hear my bells ding and I'm making lunch.
Oh I suppose no one would mind a few burnt frog toes..
Oh and Thanksgiving's coming up as everyone knows.
Oh to feed this crowd I'm going to need turkeys galore,
Do tell me where is your nearest store?


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
9 posted 2000-11-10 04:36 PM


Hick! Eggs here, eggs there… the floor is thick
Hick! Ay damn thar be another chick!
Hick! Two in one, that be a neat trick!
Hick! I hope Doughboy can scramble quick.

Hick! Is that Cratchet scratch I'm hearin'?
Hick! Drawin' lines and challenge callin'.
Hick! Well I call foul, I ain't no chicken
Hick! No cock I be, but I know fightin'.

Hick! But first one more shot of Bombay.
Hick! And one more shot for along the way.
Hick! Ah, the heck with her, I think I'll stay.
Hick! Nested down in my brood of Bombay.

Hick…well would you look at that… blue eggs!

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
10 posted 2000-11-10 04:57 PM


Oh dis-belief ! disaster knocks
our dear friend Drew has caught the pox !
No doubt t'was the electro-shocks
that has him wearing feathered socks !

Dear Jeannie quick, i know I've erred
pray not too late to get things squared.
The king is now in dire need
lest Colonel Sanders on him feed !

With seven herbs and spices fried
in bucket thrown with fresh baked side
of dinner rolls and mashed up spuds
this is no fate for our good bud !

'tis not for me I ask this deed
so save him quick with utmost speed!
For those who cluck the dinner bell
without your help does not bode well !


Lady in Red
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 147

11 posted 2000-11-10 05:01 PM


Cluck, cluck ? My 'Drew a hen ? Oh dear !
It could have been far worse I fear
You could have been the cold turkey
The 'Stute's Thanksgiving dish gooey

No golden eggs for Lady Red ?
Porcelain eggs are not too bad
I've always fancied collecting
Russian eggs flavoured blue gin

But please stop rolling through that mud
You almost look like Elmer Fudd !
In no freezer or stove you hide!
You better stay at Lady's side

Until Doughboy fixes your weiner
Lots of chili to taste meaner
Or would you prefer instead
A well fried crispy Potato Head ?

Which reminds me of a pink petticoat
I met yesterday down the road
A lady Moose in great distress
Was searching for her Moo-Moo-ness

"My son I lost to an institute,
My Moo-Moo deer, he is real cute
Now should you find a Moose my dear
Who looks like a Doc and dresses like deer

Please hold him tight or lock him up
Keep him busy in the workshop
Give me a call, I'll be right here
Mummy misses her Moo-Moo deer"

I've sent her over to the Corner Pub
To get more info on her lost pup
Anyone seen this Lady in Pink ?
She was on her way for a drink …

< !signature-->

Romeo, Romeo, where fart art thou



[This message has been edited by Lady in Red (edited 11-10-2000).]

Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz
12 posted 2000-11-11 06:11 PM


1, 2, 3 - 1, 2, 3
Red will ye waltz with me?
4, 5, 6 - 4, 5, 6
'Drew has the pox of chicks

1, 2, 3 - 1, 2, 3
He better watch Nurse C
5, 6, 8 - 5, 6, 8
Now he is easy bait

Right to his bone she'll pluck
After she'll try her luck
Dusting his feathers Red
Leaving him stark-naked

Now that she 'Drew the line
Making shakes really fine
Eggnog and Villanelle
Thinks she's the Stute's damsel

1, 2, 3 - 1, 2, 3
Not on me toes honey
6, 8, 9 - 6, 8, 9
Look at me new coat fine

Gift from our Tinker-dear
Who's now quite mad I fear
I got me hands on her
Slicing off this swell fur

1, 2, 3 - 1, 2, 3
Moose for presidency!
Since they cannot decide
Let Moose run House in White

Take with him Nurse Crachet
And all the straitjackets
Kace and Thyme are frantic
To clean out Bill's attic

I'll be without a doubt
Minister of the crowd
Treat of insanity
Nation wide lunacy

1, 2, 3 - 1, 2, 3
Muted a Moose mummy
Bandages didn't show
Thought 'twas a pink wacko

8, 9, 4 - 8, 9, 4
Tex playing on the floor
Jinn can make ye real grand
Six feet under the sand

Doughboy is going soft
Moulded by C. too oft
Stole royal kitchen from
King, now expect napalm

Unless ye are real swift
Make weiner royal gift
Make him again Andrew
Before he flies in stew

1, 2, 3 - 1, 2, 3
A pleasure 'twas Lady
Hope yar next dance will be
With chicken royalty

Justin N.

Glad our little game made ya smile Pegasus. Fly by any time  

[This message has been edited by Justin Nuendo (edited 11-11-2000).]

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
13 posted 2000-11-11 07:25 PM


A fine feathered mess you now are in
as yet not saved , where are you Jinn ?
Oh well , let's see what's in my bag
I may have something here to snag
you back from Colonel Sander's menu
but let's see first , and later then you
can produce your insurance card .
Take two of these and swallow hard ,
there I think that's done the trick ,
a poult that moults , you're looking slick,
but best get in this jacket quick ,
before Nurse C. finds out you're sick !


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
14 posted 2000-11-11 10:35 PM


There once was a time I was king
The ruler of the Stute East Wing
Now I'm just a free range chicken
Hiding from the Doughboy's kitchen
In the Pub basement I have been
Drinking all of their Bombay gin
Poppin' out these porcelain blue eggs
That look and feel like mini-kegs
Four bottles of gin I've put down
And not yet these troubles I've drown
If I were just rooster lookin'
I'd be free from Doughboy's cookin'

Hmmmmm.... perhaps a disguise is what's called for.  Now if I could just find me a pair of red rubber gloves.  Hey Doc!  What brings you down to the basement? Careful of the eggs… Pills? Sure I'll take a few… don't know what good they'll do, but I'll take them just for you.  Say… would you by chance have a few red rubber gloves in that wonder bag of yours.  You do! Great! … Can you lend me a hand?  Ya… that's it… one on the head… the other on the tail end.  Perfect!  Now if I ain't a rooster than dip me in batter and call me McDugget!… Say Moose… you ever think about running for President?  Just a thought…

Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz
15 posted 2000-11-13 11:32 AM


OK ! Call the Moose squad ! Sharpen yer crayons !!! We have a spy in the 'Stute !!
This is what I found in me mailbox !!

Answering Machine at the 'Stute:


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.  All operators are too busy to talk to you."


          WHO ?????



Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
16 posted 2000-11-13 12:56 PM


I'm a chicken… I've got no fingers to press buttons or to use a rotary phone with. Granted, I could peck the numbers, but I just had my beak manicured and if you think I'm going to chip this polish, your crazy!  Now as for your spy… this sounds like the work of Nurse Cratchet… always playing with numbers she is… you know… "Time for this, time for that"…  "You get four pills… you get five."  Yep… sounds like her work if you ask me.  I wouldn't trust a number cruncher as far as I can count… and that's at least to ten… or at least eight… maybe three.  Watch yourself Justin N… I suggest you take a mirror wherever you go… ya can't be too careful.  Take it from me… I'm a chicken!
Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz
17 posted 2000-11-13 03:59 PM


Ye could 'ave knocked me down with a feather when I read that letter! Can't ye see they stole MY numbers? How am I supposed to dance with Red again? Dang! Now I'll lose count!!  Or ye think they stole them for the elections? Seems they're short a few numbers…or did the FBI find out Moose is running for president? Call Fox and Scully! Hmm, better not call Fox with a chick in the house.
We best head for the House in White and start cleaning out that attic. We'll get to the bottom of this, even if it's a double one! Find the Moose and go! I've heard chicks are allowed in there. Whoever did this…his days are numbered!!
Hold on King…I know ye want to be cock of this walk but… here…yer red glove…stick yer tale back on first! Ye look like a chicken rooster!

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
18 posted 2000-11-14 05:03 PM


Ten digits on the telephone
that tell you what to do .
But when you don't know who to call
they're of no use to you .

The numbers in a poll might say
you've got 'em by a nose .
Don't count blue eggs before they're hatched
or dare to pre-suppose ,

that just because you may have won
the Prez you now will be .
'Cause that's not how these things are done
you'll have to wait and see .

Statistically you are odds on
the favorite on this track .
But weighing all the pros and cons
I can't tell front from back !

No matter how it all adds up
it still will not compute .
So say the meds within my cup
in side the institute .

The square route of this whole dispute
will still not out Fox Mulder.
But Scully's vote is prob'ly moot
'cause Fudd that spud just culled her !



Jeannie
Junior Member
since 2000-03-17
Posts 40
Wherever I'm needed
19 posted 2000-11-14 06:18 PM


Doc, good to see you again,
tell me please how you've been?
Looks like those pills failed
for your attempt you'll be hailed.
Now for our sweet Andrew hen,
I've rested so now let me try again.
One, two, three (blink) (blink) (blink)
Oh gosh, your now a rooster with a drink!
I think I need to confer with Doc
seems my mind has gone to flock.

Nurse Crachet
Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318
They know where I am!
20 posted 2000-11-14 10:23 PM


I knew I'd find you,
but nesting here with ONE FLEW?
Look at that crown of red,
and that Elvis pelvis of dread.
Your cock-a-doodle-doo
will set us off without a clue.
Oh, your feathers so sweet
with my enticing duster to compete,
together the Stute we'll clean
since I am the feather duster queen.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
21 posted 2000-11-15 07:37 PM


Well hey-hey would you look at me
If I'm no rooster, you can't see.
I'm the cock who crows in each day
No more porcelain blue eggs I lay.

True my disguise was once just rubber
This Playtex crown and tail rudder
But with a blink from Jeannie's eye
I no longer fear Doughboy's fry.

My days of basement hiding done
Time to strut my stuff in the sun
To cruse the coop for my Red chick
By my feathers I know she'll stick.

But what's that I spy with my cocked eye?
A fine flock of feathers just flew by.
Could it be? That duster I see
The last temptation of Nurse C?

Oh I'm a bad, bad rooster Red
Allowing her feathers to turn my head
Please forgive this roaming rooster
I swear I'll not touch that duster!

Though this place could use a cleaning
After Doughboy's mad hash slinging.
But listen to what I'm saying!
Already my will in swaying!

Oh Dear Red, deliver me from this lust.
Please cease this desire to cluck in dust.
For I cannot resist her feather call
For I'm just a foul rooster after all.


[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 11-17-2000).]

Lady in Red
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 147

22 posted 2000-11-17 02:44 PM


Justin N. hand over that remote !
You're loud mouth only and out of control
Letting us think Jinn made a wrong spell
It is just not true, the Lady can tell
All this time you were playing around
With your remote on holy 'Stute ground
I've seen the Jinn practise for quite a while
Scrubbing off rust and blinking with smile
She no longer makes silly mistakes
Unless to much chilli weiners she ate
But you my friend are Justin Credible
Starting to look like Justin Tolerable
So be a dear and hand Lady in Red
That remote control or you're Justin Bed  
Or perhaps I should  call Miss Behavin'
Who's lately, I've been told, into shaving
And while your head's soft as baby butts
I'll send in Nurse C. to drive you nuts
With feather dusters, two of a kind
To dust and tickle your silly mind
Doc Moose'd be delighted to poke your brain
He has red coloured pills to increase your pain
The rubber room may well be your next stop
You may enjoy some extra electro shock
Now if I'd give you this mystic banknote
Would you give Lady in Red the remote ?
Justin N. ? Justin N. ? Where did you go ?




Romeo, Romeo, where fart art thou


Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz
23 posted 2000-11-18 02:45 PM


Mwahaha I was Justin Thyme
To hit mute and conceal my crime
Off to me brothers I am
With 'Drew rooster vistit the Justin clan  



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
24 posted 2000-11-18 06:12 PM


I got a good laugh out of all those...still laughing.....hah aha ha
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
25 posted 2000-11-18 09:48 PM


ethome,
C'mon and join us ,
'tis much more fun
and there's a bonus !
If you think it's funny now ,
we'll suit you up in white
and how !

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
26 posted 2000-11-20 07:00 PM


Remote! Remote!  Where's the remote?
This Stute rooster's sole antidote.
For it weren't Jeannie's errant blink
But Justin's mote pushin' hoodwink
That gave rise to this poultry coat!

It is Justin Conceivable!
It is Justin Tolerable!
That they would play such a fowl game
That with remote they would take aim
Targeting me for their dinner table.

Perhaps it is retribution
For their last failed revolution
To keep Red in the tower high
To try and conquer the great I.
How fowl is now their solution.

Yet, I'll get even with their clan
For I've a diabolic plan!
Doughboy! Please cook up an omelet
Using eggs from the Pub basement
The ones with porcelain blue tan.

Send it to our Justin brothers
Just tell 'em it's from their mothers
They'll be drunk on gin from one bite
The remote mine without a fight
Then I'll have freedom from feathers.

OK boys and girls… let's get crackin'! This 100 proof omelet isn't gonna' make itself and I don't feel like being poultry with Turkey Day right around the corner.  Doughboy!  How about a nice side of hashbrowns to go along with it?  Anybody seen Fudd the Spud?  We need a side dish for this meal.  Alright people… let's move it here!   Say Red… did I ever tell you I like the way you scramble.  Cluck-cluck baby.  Hmmmm… Hey Doc, you got any special spices in that wonder bag of yours?  Something to provide that little extra kick… say… botulism or some such taste treat.  Why don't cha give that to Nurse C to sprinkle on the top, she's good at dusting. Hmmmmm... check out that duster! Whoa... hey now, focus man! Focus! God I love cooking!  HA!… Never thought you'd hear a chicken say that! Ha, ha, ha….
  



Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
27 posted 2000-11-21 06:44 AM


....... and i stupidly thought this was the PUB ...geez.....~shaking my head~


rich-pa
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana
28 posted 2000-11-21 12:11 PM


i know i'm not down with the current pub happenings so i'll just say that the poem was very lighthearted and enjoyable

"freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin

Justin Nuendo
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 86
Ozzz
29 posted 2000-11-21 06:16 PM


Geez thanks guys for stopping by. Me hopes ya enjoyed our little game here and since this is the Pub and we 'ave this thing with blue gin right now, you might like to sing along with me.
I ran into me Uncle Neil Justa Minute ago (a real diamond he is!) and he reminded me of this song. Now the loony called it "Song, Song blue", but I got me hands on the original !!

Blue Eggs Blues

Blue eggs blue
Laid upon my pillow
Blue eggs blue
Omelette to follow
Do you think
The Clan will slink
Without a blink?
Get your feather straight or you're again
No rooster but a hen
No rooster but a hen

Blue eggs blue
Uncle Justin loves them
Blue eggs blue
Better than opossum
Good Justin chew
A Bombay stew
From you Andrew
A Justin Ebriated's kinda treat
Covered with rooster meat
Juicy rooster meat…

Blue eggs blue
Rooster ragout
No crayon 'Drew
You better pay the prize and make it quick
Bring out the hot red chick

Blue eggs blue
Omelette by John Dough
Blue eggs blue
New 'Stute doe-nut schizo
Blue blue gin
The newest thing
For Clan Justin
Wrapped in omelette haute cuisine
For me and Aunt Justine

Blue eggs blue…..

Blue eggs blue….


Mwahahahahaha On me way cousins...on me way !



Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
30 posted 2000-11-22 07:12 AM


Amusing and well worth the time it took to get to the end of the page reading all the responding posts...Cheers to the creativity flowing through all of you!  
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
31 posted 2000-11-22 06:45 PM


Bombay fortified yokes
Turned fluffy blue
Denver style
A 100 proof plan of poison poultry poured out
And not one Justin capacitated
Their blood alcohol norm
One-fifty-one and counting.
With fowl Epicurean delight
A failed cooked goose
The downs all mine
And Justins sing songs of rooster stew
Cooked in Bombay blue
For all to chew.      
Well,
Cluck
Cluck
Cluck
The clock has struck
High Noon
And it's no time to be chicken.
Crayon King's box of chocks
Knows no yellow.
If its Red they said
The color they wish to see
The crimson hue they'll view
In the eyes of a cock ready to fight.
Name your corral Justin
It's OK by me.
But don't expect good manners
Doc is with me for the holidays
And we both have a bad case of urps.
Doughboy's cookin' spares no burps.
So listen up
I'm callin' ya out
This cock-a-doodle-do is for you!

-----

PS.  Really nice work on that ND song.  

Doughboy
New Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 4

32 posted 2000-11-22 11:26 PM


The omelette of Bourbon I made for you,
But I've also got a present too,
Oh it's going to be hard not to gloat,
As I seem to have found the remote.  

Let's see, which button shall I press first?
Ut oh, what was that burst? Of noise...
I've turned the Justins into little boys.
Ok, lets push button two.
Oh no this will not do.
Nurse Crachett has now become a feather duster,
Oh no, am I ever going to be buster,
Button 3, oh now we have Tex as Turkey,
Another push and Lady in Red becomes the cranberry sauce,
One last push before I give the remote a toss,
Button 5, has Jeannie, getting honey from the hive.

A few hrs later...

The Thanksgiving meal is prepared, with our Turkey ala Tex, our Potatoes ala Fudd, our cranberry sauce ala Lady in Red and our rolls and honey to which Jeannie was stung and is now in bed.  

Tex
New Member
since 2000-07-26
Posts 2

33 posted 2000-11-23 01:14 AM


How'd that Doughboy
Fall asleep at the bar
Seems he's dreamin
of somethin' to far.

The grins and snarls
upon his lips
someone take care
of his gurgling slips.

Lady in Red,
Maybe we can ask
our jeanie for a wish
me to be taller
or you to switch?

Or just give me the ladder,
Lets add some wheels
Now I'm as tall as you,
Yet still nutty as squirl.

However yet,
There's much to do
Thank ya for the dance
I enjoyed it too.

I'd best leave,
I've much to tend,
100 head of cattle.
All of pretend.

I'll return
in a time
Bringing with me
home made whine.

Made from scratch
My own design
Red I hope
You had a good time.


[This message has been edited by Tex (edited 11-23-2000).]

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