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vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2000-08-27 05:48 PM




I watch him ride in
cloaked in black armour
atop an ebony steed-
his mere presence
the essence of power
and strength

the sunlight dances
off his razor-sharp sword
sending a glaring ray
into my eyes...
blinded to the danger
I move closer-
captive
to the stranger's beauty

approaching
he draws his sword
and as he passes
thrusts it deep
into my unshielded heart

the prince of doubt
has drawn me in
and once again
I am struck down

-vlraynes

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet.
-vlraynes




© Copyright 2000 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved
ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
1 posted 2000-08-27 07:58 PM


oh, this is so excellent! wonderfully written and yet, I know the feeling as you use exquisite analogy to describe this nasty feeling. ellie

Summers haunting melody
that awakens
the butterflies,
calling them to join
the dance
in their silent song
of praise to God.

eL

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
2 posted 2000-08-27 08:06 PM


oh, my..I like this one a whole bunch..

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-08-27 08:29 PM


Excellent writing! This is very good!

Denise

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2000-08-28 09:49 PM



ellie-
  yes...a nasty feeling it is.  thanks so
  much for your response.  you always have
  such kind things to say.  you make
  my day.    

pegasus111-
  thanks so much for reading and responding.
  i really appreciate all of your kind
  responses to my poems.  

denise-
  thanks so much for the enthusiastic
  response.      really glad you like this.

  -vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet.
                 -vlraynes
  

  


[This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 08-28-2000).]

Little_Spyro
Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659
San Diego, CA, USA
5 posted 2000-08-31 03:59 AM


WOW!!
See, this is one of those truly amazing pieces you write tricks!  
It's, well...mysterious and all-explaning at the same time, it's very hard to get that effect, but you got it perfect! Great job on the whole thing, and hope to see lots more.  

Little Spyro T. Dragon

______________
Um...I just hope that guy doesn't slay me with that razor-sharp sword of his...


Watching the poets
Passions' guardian dragon
Moves with the rhymes' flow.

Though my body be
Human, my heart and soul be
That of a dragon.

Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
6 posted 2000-08-31 10:51 AM


oohh, excellent!  Short, message clear and great flow.  Marcy
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
7 posted 2000-08-31 07:21 PM


Good one. A beautiful way to express a horrible emotion.

"Those who will not learn to use this instrument well cannot be saved by an expanded alphabet; they will only afflict us with expanded gibberish"
~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2000-09-02 02:10 AM



spyro-
  thank you so much for the enthusiastic
  response.  you flatter me.     so glad
  you enjoyed this. ...btw...prince or not
  his sword could never hurt my guardian
  dragon...  

  -vicky

"...untill you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet.
                -vlraynes

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2000-09-02 02:14 AM



Marcy-
  thanks so much for the kind words.  really
  glad you enjoyed.  

Maria-
  thanks for reading and responding.  it
  means alot to me.  

  -vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet.
                -vlraynes

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2000-09-04 06:24 AM


the fatal attraction to an undesirable character...reminds me of the saying "you can run but you cant hide"....pretty unique way to describe this feeling
Lady Lost
Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470

11 posted 2000-09-04 08:47 AM


Wow!  This one sent chills down my spine...very moving.  Great piece!...........beth

"And I still believe you can never have too much fiction because reality is such a bore..."
- REA

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
12 posted 2000-09-05 11:25 PM



kaile-
   so true...what is it about those
   undesirable types that make them so
   hard to resist... thanks so much for
   responding.  really glad you enjoyed.  

Lady Lost-
   thanks so much for the enthusiastic
   response.  you just made my day!  
   so glad you like this.

   -vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet.
                -vlraynes

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
13 posted 2000-10-23 10:13 PM


WOW!  how did i miss this??  i love it!  well, i mean..it saddens me a bit..thinking that you may be struck down by doubt...thats a bad place to be..been there..probably will be again...!!  but this is a really awesome write tricks...very wonderful...  

saving this one in my library!

hugs, dg


my soul is painted like the wings of butterflies...fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die...i can fly--my friends -Queen

kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
14 posted 2000-10-23 10:43 PM


This is really good, Vicky.  I always thought of doubt as creeping in, but you show that's not always true.  Sometimes we even go out to meet it.  It will make a good night's pondering.

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
15 posted 2000-10-26 01:02 PM



dg-
  WOW back!! lol  thanks for the enthusiastic
  reply.  you KNOW that means alot to me
  coming from you.    
  no...struck down by doubt is NOT a good
  place to be, and you know i'm doing my
  best not to go there.  
  REALLY glad you enjoyed this one.  

  love ya bunches,
     -tricks




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
16 posted 2000-10-26 01:05 PM



Marilyn-
   glad you found this one something to
   ponder, my friend.  
   in my case, doubt just has a way of
   appearing out of nowhere and 'striking
   me down'...so to speak.
   thanks for reading, and glad you
   enjoyed it.  

   hugs,
    -vicky




"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



bestgirl911
Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551
Clio, MI , United We Stand
17 posted 2000-10-27 11:17 AM


I have met this Prince of Doubt, know him rather well.....great insight!

Best

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
18 posted 2000-11-10 09:50 AM


  just stumbled upon this one again..thought i'd tell you one more time how 'wow!' it is  

hugs,dg


"i could hide out under there...i just made you say 'underwear'...i could leave but i'll just stay--all my stuff's here anyway..."

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
19 posted 2000-11-11 03:09 AM



Best-
   sorry to hear you know him so well.
   i hope you don't meet up with him
   too often these days.  
   thanks for reading.  

dg-
   buddy...pal...so glad you stumbled in.  
   thanks for the 'wow'.  
   hugs to you.  

   -vicky



  


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



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