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pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa

0 posted 2000-08-18 06:28 AM



purple flower
warmed by the sun
morning perfume


the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

© Copyright 2000 pegasus111 - All Rights Reserved
Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
1 posted 2000-08-18 06:52 AM


Peg111,
  Not quite a haiku in syllable count but every bit as lovely!
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has past
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
2 posted 2000-08-18 07:13 AM


thank you Dennis..haiku, as you know, is origionally Japanese, a character language in it's written form. The translation into English destroys the 5-7-5 syllable format. What is being said is more important than the syllable count in English.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-08-18 11:46 AM


Well, I certainly love whats being said here!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-08-18 07:25 PM


Beautiful!

Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-08-19 03:56 AM


Pegasus~

Scented flower buds
Blooming in the dawning light
Wafting it's perfume


~*Marge*~
< !signature-->

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
             noles1@totcon.com               




[This message has been edited by Marge Tindal (edited 08-19-2000).]

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
6 posted 2000-08-19 10:18 AM


very nice     nothing like the scent of fresh flowers on the nose     i love gardenia....

(are you japanese?--i gathered you were saying that in japanese the syllable count would be 5-7-5..?  just wondered   ) dg
< !signature-->

"Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you."
-Kahlil Gibran



[This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 08-19-2000).]

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
7 posted 2000-08-19 03:08 PM


dg..no, not Japanese. the 5-7-5 syllable count applies to the written Japanese language(Characters) in the translation, the 5-7-5 count is destroyed by English( not a character language) therefore the 5-7-5 is not a strict rule for English, only Japanese.
---------------------------------------------
Marge..what a beautiful variation ..and much closer to the 5-7-5 we seem to be hung up on here..lol
---------------------------------------------
Denice..thanks.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road
8 posted 2000-08-19 06:08 PM


Whatever... It's so beautiful and that's what matters to me anyhow...

allan

Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
9 posted 2000-08-19 06:16 PM


Pegasus111,
  I didn't mean to offend, this is a beautiful poem, I'm practiced in the 5-7-5 format but I should not bind that on others.
Thanks for the gentle rebuke! :^)
Dennis :^)

[This message has been edited by Dennis L. White (edited 08-19-2000).]

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