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Vanishing-fiction Edited second version.
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Vanishing-fiction Edited second version. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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THIS IS FICTION. OK as sometimes happens, the inspiration to tighten a poem comes after posting it. Unfortunately I was unable to log onto Passions last night so this is the earliest chance I have had to post the proper version. Thanks to everyone who has so far commented on the loose and not so good version of the poem. Please excuse my recent obsession with the band Joy Division. =============================== I am melancholy drunk sitting and shifting restless among the waking dead. No repentance for boredom, its eternal showers wash away my interest dams and routine foundations. I should have cast out my anchor but could not bring myself to root in concrete. Permanence passes, even these tears fall upon your face are erased, perhaps we lived happily in a past life But not here while drowning in this sea of strife. I took your hand for a moment while you stole my life indefinitely absently you wash me from yourself. I am replaced permanently. If I strike your face at least I would have testimony, a branding that make you mine, one last retort to your insult. I rise my hand challenged with your defiance, buckling under my nerves fall asunder. my guard caves in to exploit and plunder. Even defenceless a viper will strike on opportunity. I hold to you near a fossilised knife piercing upon my cries. This is an analogy of history a forgotten war or cyanide romance. What you witness is a slip of reality a momentary illusion, an apparition. I have never been, vanishing without existence. I have never lived, not even in fiction. ============================================== Sound of music - by Joy Divsion (Ian Curtis) "See my true reflection Cut off my own connections I can see life getting harder So sad is this sensation Reverse the situation I can't see it getting better I'll walk you through the heartbreak Show you all the out-takes I can't see it getting higher Systematically degraded Emotionally a scapegoat I can't see it getting better Perverse and unrealistic Try to make it all stick I can't see it getting better Hollow now, I'm burned out All I need to break out I can't see life getting higher Love, life, makes you feel higher Love of life makes you feel higher Higher, higher, higher, higher Higher, higher, higher, higher Love of life makes you feel higher" < !signature--> "To the centre of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you,To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you," Joy divison [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-08-2000).] |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
from what im gathering, life likes this is often not fiction......once again your words are forcing me to think! always a thought provoking,inspirtational read! ~Dawn whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Great writing Brian with a great thrust that drives it along. 'I took your hand for a moment you stole my life indefinitely' Powerful....and many times true Jon |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I took your hand for a moment you stole my life indefinitely and drained it barren, absently you wash me from your face and I am replaced permanently. .. .. Hey brian, metaphors fall of your thinking mind as rain drops in an Indian monsoon... heavy adn well-weighted... Intensity of the provocation of thoughts here is quite high.... So I simply say, Many regards to you, - Sudhir. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Dawn,I hate putting disclaimers one my poems saying this is not from my own experience so instead I hinted strongly in the poem that the subject is fiction. I think was inspired me to write the poem was listening to Joy Division. yes more musical inspiration. Anyway thanks for your wonderful comments. Jon, thanks for your wonderful reply. Sudhir, true I tend to drop these heavy images fast. I need to lighten up and maybe learn to smile.  LOL. THanks for your wonderful comments. "To the centre of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you,To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you," Joy divison [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-10-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
shamelessly, maybe slighty shamefully bumping this poem up again for another go. Excuse the ego and the arrogance of this gesture...LOL.. "To the centre of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you,To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you," Joy divison |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
"...we lived happily in a past life But not here while drowning in this sea of strife." i choose this part to say simply that i identify...  other than that, i would have to copy and paste most of it here!! i really like this poem brian..i must admit, i thought it was going to be a long story, so skipped over it a few times with intent to read it later--am glad you shamelessly bumped it back up! i really enjoyed the read--the peek into your mind is like a ride at the fair! awesome, as is your usual dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
dg, a ride at the fair.....I guess I am roller coaster then. LOL. I am glad that I managed to hold your attention until the end, LOL no, seriously thanks for your wonderful comments. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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