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Passions in Poetry

Almost Heaven

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 08-02-2000 07:52 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

A peach of streak
across the sky,
caressed, a bless,
cornflower blue,
liquid lava light
surprise
as yellow steals
the night away
yearning,turning,
satin sway,
tears of teal,
to slap my eyes...

and no, I'm not
the least surprised,
that you would look the other way...

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
midnightblues
Senior Member
since 07-01-2000
Posts 1602
Singapore


1 posted 08-02-2000 08:21 AM       View Profile for midnightblues   Email midnightblues   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit midnightblues's Home Page   View IP for midnightblues

Oh I felt slapped in the end! This is so astounding, serenity. Sigh...beautifully cruel...*S*


love, michelle


If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™
Little_Spyro
Senior Member
since 01-09-2000
Posts 665
San Diego, CA, USA


2 posted 08-02-2000 09:29 AM       View Profile for Little_Spyro   Email Little_Spyro   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Little_Spyro

Wow...
Now, if this isn't vibrant imagery, I'm not sure what is...and great (though unexpected) ending! Beautiful job, serenity!  

Little Spyro T. Dragon
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 08-02-2000 11:01 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Serenity~
This -

'A peach of streak
across the sky,
caressed, a bless,
cornflower blue,
liquid lava light
surprise
as yellow steals
the night away
yearning,turning,
satin sway,' ....

is so vividly lovely ...
and this -

'tears of teal,
to slap my eyes...
and no, I'm not
the least surprised,
that you would look the other way...'

... so sad.
Love ya'
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


4 posted 08-03-2000 04:47 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

It's cause peach and yellow are ugly colors!!!

But... ok... I still liked it...
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


5 posted 08-03-2000 05:08 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

WOW Serenity amazing piece. That ending slaps hard. ouch!

"I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone"
manic street preachers
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 08-03-2000 08:41 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! Serenity, this is fabulous! The ending is such a contrast to the rest of the poem yet blends so smoothly into it. A masterpiece, in my opinion!

Denise
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


7 posted 08-03-2000 09:19 PM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Serenity-
  OUCH!  Definitely felt that ending.
  This is terrific.  Thanks for sharing.  

  -vicky

"I have read your words, and within them I have found your heart.
                      -vlraynes
Majestic
Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 269
houston, tx.


8 posted 08-03-2000 11:47 PM       View Profile for Majestic   Email Majestic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Majestic

very beautiful.....though it's a shame we get caught up in life so much so that we ignore the ones we love the most....

"To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


9 posted 08-04-2000 10:58 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Thanks to all.  I appreciate the warm welcome here at the Pub...next time, remind me to leave before sun-up!!!  Laughs and Hugs for everyone.
juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 07-23-2000
Posts 1132
North Carolina


10 posted 08-05-2000 01:22 AM       View Profile for juliet_2u   Email juliet_2u   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for juliet_2u

Serenity, this is amazing. Totally breathtaking girl. I just can't get over it. All the best to ya, Juls
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


11 posted 08-05-2000 09:13 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

"A peach of streak" that caught my attention!
What a description.. and no, serenity, I'd never look the other way.. I wanna see it too!! ^_^
Lovely.. almost bitter, feeling empty, ending.. loved this..

Luv,

Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

(Please e-mail me at yu_lan_wen_@hotmail.com instead of the e-
TexUS
Member
since 03-20-2003
Posts 228


12 posted 01-15-2005 10:14 PM       View Profile for TexUS   Email TexUS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TexUS

wow, this seems to be my life...
excellent write.
 
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