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Virgin Suicides
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Virgin Suicides |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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This was first posted in the challenge forum, in respose to a challenge I set asking for any phrase, thoughs that I could use to write a poem. THe challenge is still open. Thanks to Wren for the phrases,"tie a rainbow in your hair" "blood as sweet as orange juice" "The rain girl smiles with mossy teeth and keeps her eyes hidden" ---------------------- Young girls in floral sheen spring down to the beach. They laugh softly in the shine with large blue eyes and chocolate smiles. They dance and spin shouting merriment and laughter tying rainbows in their hair, and daisy chains upon their necks. They called them angles, the old ones did but what do they know of the secret torments of youth. The menstrual mutilation is the devil's curse for their bad thoughts. They reeled in lakes of blood as acrid and sweet as orange juice. Once they awoke to scarlet soaked sheets and trails of brutal passion, there had been an intruder a midnight thief of innocence. Now they are walking dead, no glimmer in their vacant eyes. The joyless grey face pains the elders to see them in a constant sulk. They bear the anguish of violation secretly. Girls with ill thoughts will have ill deeds visited upon them; the twisted spirits breathed vile seeds, They can not wash the sickness from their flesh. The rain girls with grim ivy lips keep their eyes hidden. The four stand against howling overcast, even the wind is unrepentant and the filth remains. "We walk with our eyes fully opened. We are aware of your desires your longing to penetrate our sweetness. We know that any of you could have laid devil hands on us, There no rest for us angels where all are guilty. We died the night you stole our love. We are no more, the virgin suicides, Let us lie in the stillness of the sea." With the final epitaph written their bodies descend into the depths. One wonders what drove such spirited girls into the frozen undercurrents. "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers. |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Brian, The depths you can go in your writing is amazing. You took this one and ran to supreme heights of talent. Excellent job! |
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Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. |
Brian, The way your writing flows, you make it look easy, But I know from experience this is not the case (at least for me). The way you've woven in some peculiar phrases and not missed a stitch, IT ALL WORKS TOGETHER, WOW! I salute thee and thy handicraft! Dennis :^) Moonbeams radiate When the veiling cloud has past Playful shadows dance Dennis L. White :^) |
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midnightblues Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597Singapore |
What can i say?......WOW! This is deep! *S* I'm really really jealous now *pouTz* I must say u're an incredible poet! If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™ |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
LD thanks for your amazing response. Dennis, make it look easy? sorry for showing off.lol Thank you for your wonderful reply. midnightblues, thank you for your wonderful words, oh I am stunned by your kind words all I can say is thank you. "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else" faster-Manic street preachers. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Brian, once again! Denise |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Brian,well you can show off all you want to becos you are a darn good poet, you know  this poem is excellent..chilly , haunting, i can go on and on and on...i was struck by the line "Girls with bad thoughts will have bad deeds visited upon them"...so sad...that sometimes we are racked with guilt but still so desire muchly to want to taste the forbidden fruit A challenge phrase for u: Alone in a sea of jesters |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This one bowled me over. Will I ever get up again? What an astounding piece of work. So violent and yet so sublime. I've got a silly sentence for you, it's from my grandmother's diary: "I can dream and fancy far better Gods than you can meet on street corners." Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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