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Passions in Poetry

please forgive me...

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Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


0 posted 07-04-2000 07:03 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

Sweet Thang

Shufflin in the doorway
hat in hand, silly smile
askin fo forgivness...
“Been thinkin all day
at work, couldn’t stop
thinkin i shore am sorry.”

“Canna y’all forgive me,”
my sweethart...
“I shore be sorry.”
“Donna know whys
I acted da fool,
iz zit ok, honey?”

“Man, I be dyin
fo one o your smiles
maybe jus a teensy, baby.”
“Mama, canna y’all
give a yo Daddy
jus a little sugar?”

“I be tellin ya
thata itz my own fault
shouldnna hollered at you.”
“Iz a right sorry now
I a picked y’all some flowers
juz fo you, Mama!”

“Do y’all think
I coulda juz get a bite
maybe to hold me o’re, baby?”
Shufflin in the doorway
hat in hand, silly smile
askin fo forgivness...



bleeding...

"Tis ink coming
from his arm,
Captain!"

© Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


1 posted 07-04-2000 07:06 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

Just a quick note of disclaimer...
in no way is this piece construed or
generated as a racist commentary.
Tis simply a contrite man seeking
forgivness from his woman.  thanks,
Daniel
(aka...


bleeding...

"Tis ink coming
from his arm,
Captain!"

kelieth
Member
since 06-12-2000
Posts 315
Normal IL - USA


2 posted 07-04-2000 07:16 PM       View Profile for kelieth   Email kelieth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit kelieth's Home Page   View IP for kelieth

Bleeding,

First of all your poetry is wonderful.  It's a very good emotional piece.  I see no need for apology.  A work of art is what it will be in my eyes for eternity.  Great Job.

Kevin

"Anything is possible with patience, time is the tool use it to reach your goals."


[This message has been edited by kelieth (edited 07-04-2000).]
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


3 posted 07-04-2000 08:33 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

I love this one, Daniel! ^_^
Hey.. why didn't u submit this for voting!!   I can't vote on this here BRILLIANT poem! *_^



Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu


ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 01-10-2000
Posts 4176
King of Prussia, PA USA


4 posted 07-05-2000 02:05 AM       View Profile for ellie LeJeune   Email ellie LeJeune   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ellie LeJeune

Daniel; This a lovely poem of humility and love. I enjoyed the way it is written. Ellie

Summers haunting melody
that awakens
the butterflies,
calling them to join
the dance
in their silent song
of praise to God.

ellie LeJeune

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 07-05-2000 09:28 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very sweet, Daniel!  

Denise
midnightblues
Senior Member
since 07-01-2000
Posts 1602
Singapore


6 posted 07-07-2000 11:53 AM       View Profile for midnightblues   Email midnightblues   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit midnightblues's Home Page   View IP for midnightblues

Yohz gentle giant! Didya woman's heart melt with your honeyed poem? Golly I love it! *S*

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


7 posted 07-07-2000 07:53 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

interesting style, really liked this alot. beautiful poem.

"All my life what I mistook for friendly pats on the back Were really the hands that pushed me further and further down The more I struggle, the less
Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


8 posted 07-07-2000 08:51 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

Thank yew fir aller suupporttt!

bleeding...

"Tis ink coming
from his arm,
Captain!"

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


9 posted 07-10-2000 08:01 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

Gosh man, this is so sweet thang...put smile big big on my face and wishing fo that woman to fogive y
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


10 posted 07-15-2000 12:59 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Man, it's just a sweet thang !
Love it!
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


11 posted 12-25-2004 11:34 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

cute write
 
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