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several short poem I have written for a friend..
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several short poem I have written for a friend.. |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand 
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These two first poems are about a friend, and the third I wrote FOR her.. I have already posted "Ever After" here, just thought I might post them together.. Harmful Dreams Lost in a dream, Living in a world, Which really isn’t true, She tears herself apart, Unknowingly, Helpless, At the mercy, Of her dreams. Her Cover Her face is a book, But the words are invisible. Eyes emotionless, But she should be afraid. She seems so calm, But her book is closed, Always judged, By her cover. Ever After A dream, Is a tiny spark of hope, Glistening, In the minds of many. You must never give up hope, Someday, my dear, Everything will be alright, For didn’t you know, In the end, You live happily ever after Lynne ----> written for C.C |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lynne Miura, née Chudley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
These are very nice, Lynne! Denise |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... |
hey Yu! Harmfull was haunting...Yu captured the feelings of terror and helplessness quite well, i think. and Cover was fascinating. Wonder how many times we all have judged by a cover that is merely a dust jacket from another book? finally, Ever After...what a joyous almost tangible promise...with the concrete backing of "never give up"! Three well written and thought provoking short pieces that say volumes... i enjoy your work quite abit, Yu... thanks, D bleeding... "Tis ink coming from his arm, Captain!" |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Thank you Denise! ^_^ And thanx bleeding, wow, I'm flattered.. *blush* thank you for your lovely words.. yeah, i like your work too, I have your name in my library of favourite poets.. ^^ Lynne "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Hi, Lynne I am wondering how on earth did i miss this post?Three very good poems at the price of one click!  like them all..Harmful Dreams was appropriately titled and the sentiments of being misled by your dreams can be easily identified with Good extended metaphor on the line "Never judge a book by its cover".... love the line "But her book is closed"---implying to this reader that her face is closed as we may have judged her based on our impressions of her (which may be incorrect) and dont bother to take the necessary effort to get to know her better(which she deserves) Ditto bleeding's comments about Ever After...feel uncomfortable with the use of "didn't" but nonetheless made a nice read for this reader...  one thing though, you feel she is destroying based on the unrealistic dreams she harbours and yet you encourage her to dream on...HUH? [This message has been edited by kaile (edited 06-23-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Lynne, your friend seemed to be in a lot of pain. I wish her well. beautifully written poems, I can tell that you care a lot for her. thanks for sharing. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Thank you.. kaile.. yeah, basically, the two poems "Harmful Dreams" and "Ever After" are almost talking about different dreams.. and different things I had to say to my friend, depending on her situation.. Harmful dreams is about false hopes, and run-away imagination, so that she confused one with another.. and Ever After is to give her the right hope.. Yes, i think you are right about the 'didn't'.. it almost fits, so that I missed it when I first wrote these, but reading it now.. it isn't quite rigt for the rest of it.. I shall leave it for now, for want of a better word, but I think i shall 'fiddle' with that piece of the poem, a little. ^_^ Brian madden.. thank you for your lovely comments, about my poetry.. yeah, my friend kinda is having a rough time, but u r right, I do care a lot, so I guess that's a good thing. ^_^ Lynne "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu |
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