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~God's Breath Haiku~

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2000-06-03 06:02 PM

Yet again, which one do you prefer? I like both, I just can't decide, both have good meanings to me.

~GOD'S BREATH HAIKU~

1)

Gentle wind does blow
the heavenly breath of God,
soft against my skin

OR)

2)

Gentle wind does blow
the heavenly breath of God,
love against my skin

*By Melissa Honeybee*

childomine
Senior Member

since 2000-01-25

Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL

1 posted 2000-06-03 06:25 PM

Tough to pick Melissa, both are quite comforting. I think I'll go with the .................................................................................................................................................................................... ............. first one.

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

2 posted 2000-06-03 07:17 PM

I'll go with the first one too, although both are good.

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

3 posted 2000-06-04 12:33 PM

good ones melissa!

i'll go with the 1st one too..the 2nd is good, but somehow feels like it changed subjects in the last line--even tho i do understand what youre trying to say there..

dg

"A Poet's life is on written page; a scenario to take the stage--watch..." dgvarner

Dennis L. White
Senior Member

since 2000-02-17

Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.

4 posted 2000-06-05 10:30 AM

Melissa,
I must also go with #1, it speaks to me about the gentle persuasion of a patient GOD.
WELL DONE! Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has past
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)

Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

5 posted 2000-06-05 01:00 PM

I like the first one too, the words gentle and soft seem to pull it together nicely!

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

6 posted 2000-06-06 01:37 AM

hehe, yet again, great haiku Mel..
Ummmmm.. hard to say.. I think the first is nicer, yes.. 'coz to me, I am not too clear on what the second would be referring too, although the 'love' sets a warm scene.. ^_^ yeah, probably the first one.. ^_^

Lynne

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