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Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

0 posted 2000-05-25 10:28 AM


Moment Of Honesty

The man in the corner so lonely and saddened
shot glasses all lined up empty to distressed core
tried to ask him a question he became maddened
got up and staggered his way to the swinging door.

He bumped into a big tall stout man while leaving
brave alcohol front laid him flat on the hard ground,
a lady at the bar starts speaking of grieving
telling that her husband just accidentally drowned.

Two and two together made me see things more clear
she was the lonely sad part of the fallen man,
I wondered if she knew he was so very near
and if it would bother her at all if he ran?

The cluttered circumstance of present positions
both parties in denial of inner weavings
stubborn factors leading to diverse conditions
stung by words of undesirable heaving.

Moment of honesty takes a close hearty stand
as she walks out the door to see him lying there
lifeless with medics capturing their job just grand
deepest trapped emotions surface to shower care.

The road through eternity together bites some
and makes reality seem cut throat to the end
as through eyes of evil we hear a distant drum
when in honesty it's love coming round the bend.


© Copyright 2000 RiaL - All Rights Reserved
blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
1 posted 2000-05-25 10:31 AM


Life always seems to take turns like this!
Wonderful poem and expression.
alicia

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-05-25 11:11 AM


True love rises above it all. Well done, Gloria!

Denise

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
3 posted 2000-05-29 08:44 AM


Alicia: Thanks for reading and responding, I appreciate.  

Denise: Thanks for your nice reply.  

Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

4 posted 2000-05-30 09:17 AM


I like your style in this one L D.

The imagery is also strong.

Nice piece

Jon


Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
5 posted 2000-05-30 05:25 PM


I really enjoyed the drama of your poem, and the ending was effective.  I read it twice to see the hidden meanings.  Good job!
twinsgd
Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416
Ontario,Canada
6 posted 2000-05-30 05:46 PM


Oooh a really good one Gloria,,,a great set up and ending and the title ....it really fits....enjoyed this a lot.

Jack

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
7 posted 2000-05-30 08:48 PM


Jon: Thank you much, glad you enjoyed it.  

Jana: Thank You very much.  

Jack: Thank You very much, glad it was enjoyable.  

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