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blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO

0 posted 2000-05-15 01:08 PM


I am passionate and loving
I sonder when the world will end
I hear a Brazillian waterfall
I see my God before me
I want to be loved as I love others
I am passionate and loving

I pretend that I can fly
I feel the stress of violent warfare
I touch the veins in my wrist
I worry about my friends
I cry for the ones I've lost
I am passionate and loving

I understand that we need to change
I say you should love God
I dream of being in His castle
I try to make a difference
I hope someday there will be no prejudices
I am passionate and loving


 Life defines no more than what it is you ask for.
April 20, 2000
Alicia A. Renzelman

© Copyright 2000 Alicia R - All Rights Reserved
blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
1 posted 2000-05-15 01:22 PM


here are actually two different ending verses to this, but I felt that this one was more appropriate, what do you think?  Should I post the other one?

 Life defines no more than what it is you ask for.
April 20, 2000
Alicia A. Renzelman

Wobbly Head Bob
Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299
Virginia, USA
2 posted 2000-05-15 01:29 PM


You ARE passionate and loving.  These are the ideal worlds' most sought after qualities.  You pose a good question to other reader/writers, What Am I?  A poem that answers such a good question with flowing verse and deep feeling!  I applaud this work, and I applaud what YOU ARE!
Wobbly Head Bob
Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299
Virginia, USA
3 posted 2000-05-15 01:30 PM


Sorry, I forgot to answer your question...I don't know what the other last verse is, and honestly after reading this, I like the way this one looks, you say what you are, you say what you should be, and you say what you think you are and should be!   *phew*  So, I don't know...I should like to read the other one, but I like the entire work as is.
patricianne
Member
since 2000-05-04
Posts 66

4 posted 2000-05-15 07:20 PM


Great poem, The I Am challenge seems to bring out our best qualities and thats wonderful!!! I'm still working on mine! Will post soon. Thanks for letting us get to know you better.
epoet
Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291
grand rapid,MI, usa
5 posted 2000-05-16 10:45 AM


would like to see other ending.  Otherwise great poem, you are who you are and from this I gather you are someone special.  To this I say carpe diem.

 

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
6 posted 2000-05-19 01:05 PM


Ok, y'all asked for it!  

I understand he loves me
I say I love him too
I dream we'll be together forever
I try not to fight with him
I hope he'll always be there
I am passionate and loving


Didn't want to post it because I felt that it was more about the man I think I am in love with than myself, but then again, we seem to be somewhat joined at the hip.

 Life defines no more than what it is you ask for.
April 20, 2000
Alicia A. Renzelman

Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

7 posted 2000-05-19 01:53 PM


Siamese hey ........My favourite feline

Best wishes

Jon

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 2000-05-19 03:50 PM


Very nice, Alicia! I like the version that you first posted, because as you say, it is more about you than about the man you are in love with!

Denise

childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
9 posted 2000-05-19 06:38 PM


Alicia - good job - no matter what ending you use.  You weren't sure about the second ending because it's about the man you think you're in love with?  But, anyone we love becomes a part of us so....  As Bob said, "these are the ideal worlds most sought after qualities".  You sound like a wonderful, passionate and loving person.
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