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Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304


0 posted 2000-04-27 10:57 AM


‘Is that whispering voices’? I held her trembling hand
We had travelled far through this troubled land
Our hearts were beating harder as we scurried through the corn
My prayers began to aver we’d see another dawn

We took the hedges cover upon the muddy bank
I softly held my lover our silhouettes now shrank
I quietly held her stare from eyes of misty Blue
‘I shouldn’t have a care to spend my life with you’

Her answer was so soft with gentle fingertips
She quickly glanced aloft and placed them on my lips
Her body warm and scented pressed against me now
But then my heart was rented with death upon her brow

I arose in writhing torment weeping to the sky
Cursing at the ferment I wanted too …to die
The agony so brutal was in my tortured state
But my heart was crying futile my sobbing was to late

I laid my darling down into the wispy grass
As in my tears I drowned this feeling would not pass
I arranged a crown of daises of loving workmanship
I sobbed my dearest’ praises and kissed her on the lips

This awful war had torn and ravaged through our land
And where my love had been had snatched it from my hand
I dream as I grow older in heaven… we will share
And as my nights grow colder my love is waiting there.

Jon Mewett



© Copyright 2000 Jon Mewett - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-04-27 12:00 PM


Heartbreaking story...well done.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2000-04-27 12:17 PM


Fear and passion, two highly charged emotions, carry us through and pull us into every line of this poem. Well done, dear poet
Liz

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-04-27 12:43 PM


I could feel the tension and see the fear and love in this heartbreaking story.  This is excellent writing!
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

4 posted 2000-04-28 02:48 AM


Thanx everybody for your kind words.

Jon

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
5 posted 2000-04-28 01:47 PM


Jon,

You always weave a wonderful tale. I hope it is just a tale. It's heartbreaking, but lovely.

~Gene

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
6 posted 2000-04-28 03:02 PM


Chilling and thrilling!! Great story...hope it is just that....

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358
Illinois
7 posted 2000-04-28 05:01 PM


A tragic tale Jon....i love your poems....you're one of my favorites for ingenious tales =] Lookig forward to more =]

swamp


 And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

Sasikat
Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290
St. Petersburg, FL
8 posted 2000-04-28 05:25 PM


Jon,

This one is soooo sad, it certainly touched my emotions.  I truly hope that this came from the mind's creation and not an actual experience.  So beautifully written

Sheila


 ...the earth and myself are of one mind. The measure of the land and the measure of our bodies are the same........... Joseph, Nez Perce Chief

Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

9 posted 2000-04-28 05:38 PM


Yeah it's only my rambling imagination,but thanks for your concern,Gene,Swampie,ESP,and Sasikat.
Everybody's comments are much appreciated.

Thanx

Jon

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
10 posted 2000-04-29 09:26 AM


Heartbreaking, indeed .....
"I arranged a crown of daisies of loving workmanship
I sobbed my dearest' praises and kissed her on the lips "
These words have formed an image that I won't soon forget ....
Exquisite work , Jon

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 2000-04-29 02:52 PM


Heartbreaking poem, Jon. Beautifully done!

Denise

PrincessPoet
Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133
Long Beach, Calif.
12 posted 2000-04-29 03:05 PM



So sad Jon,
But, as always well versed very good rhyme scheme talented flow
your poetry is a delight to read
Run with this one


 Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up.
-Yoruba Proverb

Poetry & Friendship,
PrincessPoet


Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

13 posted 2000-04-30 05:55 AM


Thanks Pepper,Denise and Princess your comments are always welcome and gratefully recieved.


Jon

John the cat
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357
England
14 posted 2000-04-30 09:39 AM


I don't know how I missed reading this earlier, but I'm so pleased it didn't escape completely. Jon, you are the master.

 May your roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out.

Irish proverb.

Wikket
Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340
Santa Clara, CA USA
15 posted 2000-04-30 05:29 PM


Oh Jon!  So heartbreaking and gripping...I couldn't stop reading.  Excellent Work!  I applaude you.  ~~Jamie        



 "I keep breaking all the promises
That I keep making to myself
You'd think by now that I'd be over this
Instead I'm feeling sorry for myself
So why does everything seem desperate now?
I should be feeling so alive
But it feels like something's missing
Something's wrong somehow
It feels like something deep inside has died..."
--Stabbing Westward

Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

16 posted 2000-05-01 05:52 AM


Hey Hey all this kindness makes you want to

(((((((((SHAKE)))))))))):0)

Thanx

Jon

childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
17 posted 2000-05-01 01:23 PM


Jon - you've evoked a torrent of emotions with this beautifully written piece.  You have a wonderful way of making the reader "feel".  

 ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is....
Black Eagle
Oglala Sioux holy man


blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
18 posted 2000-05-01 01:30 PM


Ok, am I the only one who can write about a terribly sad subject and NOT write it well?!?  Just kidding!  I love the poem, wonderful description of the tormenting horror of war, and losing the one you love. But remember-it gets better.  I send you hope and fond wishes for a brighter tomorrow.

 Life defines no more than what it is you ask for.
April 20, 2000
Alicia A. Renzelman

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
19 posted 2000-05-03 11:42 PM


Jon, This is fabulous, you have such a talent for the written word, and your imagination is too realistic.  
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

20 posted 2000-05-04 11:51 AM


Thanx Dreamer as usual your very kind,got any more dreams going spare?

Jon

breezeinnc
Junior Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 47
USA
21 posted 2000-05-04 08:05 PM


tragic and heartfeeling
very well written
breezeinnc

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
22 posted 2000-05-05 06:16 AM


!!!!!!!!
Aah, Jon, how do u do it? ^_^ nah, this is great.. hehe, i missed it earlier, 'coz I haven't been here as much as I would have liked to lately.. but I wish I hadn't, 'coz there aren't enough compliments in the English language, so I would not repeat myself ! ^_^ Well done.. very sad..

Lynne

Kitty_Fett
Junior Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 35

23 posted 2000-05-05 05:24 PM


Very touching, and unfortunatly true. I really like the words that you use in there.


 Kitty Fett

dreamer1775
Junior Member
since 2000-05-05
Posts 20
florida
24 posted 2000-05-05 05:50 PM


very sad and very beuitful peom
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