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Tranquility (Lost Dreamer's challenge)
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Tranquility (Lost Dreamer's challenge) |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
As swirling patterns of life’s emotion Drift upon this endless ocean, A peaceful calm comes over me, But things appear that could not possibly. This incredible calm...this complete tranquility; Am I dreaming or have I died. The taste of your lips; the sight of your face; How easily eternity is embraced. How beautiful the colors on the water dance; The smell of roses and sweet romance. My senses thrive beyond enhanced. I have never felt so alive. ______ In response to Lost Dreamer's challenge, I could only post an excerpt from a poem which got banned from Passions, so I hope it made sense. ______ ~Gene [This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 04-23-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Gene M. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Gene, This is excellent, the rest must have been quite interesting to get it banned...LOL You obviously did not try the adult forum with it, I don't think anything gets banned from there. Anyway this was fine for the challenge, actually it was perfect and now our imaginations can just wander.  Thanks for responding to this challenge, I was trying to lift the spirits from the other challenge being tossed around. |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Gloria -- Thanks, I tried to make it work for your challenge. It turns out, it's not a bad little poem in its own right. The full version would have gotten banned, even in the Adult Forum, cuz it was very graphically discriptive about the taboo subject here. ~Gene |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Gene, Yes this poem is good in it's own right My mind must have been on the wrong track then, I can't imagine a poem this magnificent going that bad. |
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PrincessPoet Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133Long Beach, Calif. |
U_Gene Hi! How can such A Beautiful Beginning end up on the wrong path? I like the poem it seems to embark on the rollercoaster ride our emotions sometimes take. Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up. -Yoruba Proverb Poetry & Friendship, PrincessPoet |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Princess, Thanks for the compliment. It was originally a love/death poem. It was simply about a man who couldn't stand to live without his wife. Some people found my depiction very disturbing. I found it no different than Romeo & Juliet. ~Gene |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Standing alone Gene these two verses are great I remembered the discussion over the original posting, then your lead-in comment for me set up a totally chilling read ending in the last line " I never felt so alive". Although I never read the original knowing where it went really influenced how this one felt. Wish you had put the lead -in at the end. Maybe I just get too caught up in some of this stuff. Jack |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
What'chya talk'n 'bout, Jack? Take another look.  |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
This is lovely, Gene .... Curiosity now piqued .. I would have loved to read this piece in its entirety ..... |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
yes,i think this poem is terrific in its own right...but then aren't all your poems so?hmmmm....lovely poem again,u_gene....like the others, i will love to read the whole poem....perhaps you can e-mail it to me... |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Well done U_Gene! |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Pepper -- Kaile -- INclan -- Thanks, glad you liked it. I'll e-mail the complete poem to you, kaile. Anyone else who is interested, please e-mail me to request it. ~Gene |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
I can't imagine the rest of the poem considering how excellent a portion of it is. Good work Gene (& I will be requesting to see the rest) |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
You've set the scene so well Gene...you'd better email me the rest .......PLEASE Jon |
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