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Cold Hands
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Cold Hands |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Cold hands pressed against my neck Freezing finger tips indented into my thin skin Gently proding Not moving from the one spot Soon I do not feel the cold Becomes numb I become numb to the feeling I freeze To solid ice Waiting to thaw.... [This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 04-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
shivering here, did someone turn the sun off? Very interesting poem, I like it.  |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Brrrr, cold and dark, but still a wonderful poem. ~Gene |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Very chilling poem, Joy! So well written too! I need my hot water bottle! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
*shivering* here! Very descriptive, Joy! Denise |
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PrincessPoet Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133Long Beach, Calif. |
 Did someone move my Heating Pad ? Nice chillin' wit u, Joy. Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up. -Yoruba Proverb Poetry & Friendship, PrincessPoet |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
wow.. this is quite something! I love the way you've written this.. so, chilling, and beautiful.. amazing words, JOY, a cold.. cold poem, with a lot of feeling.. hehe.. contradiction in terms, but u did it ^_^ a very warm, cold poem. Lynne ps.. can i ask, what exactly is this describing? what is it about? ^_^ oh, aah.. just one word of advice here, "Freezing finger tips indented in my thin skin" <-- I think perhaps you need to substitute 'in' for 'into', because u can indent into an object, but u have to make an indentation in an object.. see the difference? ^_^ well, i am not sure if it makes sense the way you have put it, I don't think so, but if I am wrong here, plz someone tell me ^_^ just a suggestion. ^_^ special words, you weave. ^_^ Lynne |
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Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
Interesting poem, and it gave me the chills. Nicely done! "A poet is someone who is astonished by everything." - anonymous |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Thanks everyone for replying. Lynne, I think you are right. It should be into. Thanks for pointing that out. Joy [This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 04-22-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Joy~ I felt the cold ... but more importantly, I felt the anticipation of the 'thaw'. Wonderfully done with vivid images. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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