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Joy Junkie
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Joy Junkie |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
running low on joy- gotta find my friends, gotta live life. tweaking- fiending that candy-coated mad fast fix gotta get - gotta get more shifty shifty eyes gotta get another amber drop another drop of that sweet ambrosia boil it down, boil it down -pulling out that life-infusing hipodermic- that tool- that tool of the fix. suck up that sweet that sweet essence of life and send it coursing coursing through my veins and exploding in my heart like a geyser of ecstasy! oh, what this life does to me! i keep on coming back coming back for more. gotta find my friends gotta live life. "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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| © Copyright 2000 rich cooper - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Whoa....wild ride. Free verse is kinda hard to subject to literary criticism (the good kind), but I'll give it a whirl. 1)hipodermic...was the an intentional misspelling? (hypodermic) 2)'fiending that candy-coated mad fast fix' love this line...rich in imagery, utilizing consonance and assonance...very nicely done. 3)Very good tempo and beat...nice flow from beginning to end. Hmm...well that should be enough for now...got my fix.  If'n this was not the sort of reply you wanted, just lemme know, and I'll lay off the critiques. Alicat, the Persnikitty |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very 'up' poem, Rich, I like it! Denise |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Interesting poem rich-pa, when you read and reread and read again and then say to myself well,only fix I need are my friends.How about you? Jack |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
alicat: i actually favor those types of critiques so thank you...the misspelling was an accident. twinsgd: that was one of the angles i was shooting for. |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Not into the go-fast myself these days but finding my friends is always "high" on my list of things to do. Like it! Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Interesting style of poem, Rich-pa, I like it! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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PrincessPoet Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133Long Beach, Calif. |
I relly enjoyed your Creative energy here, Rich-Pa Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up. -Yoruba Proverb Poetry & Friendship, PrincessPoet |
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