Abuse(respond to Marina's challenge and a formal cinquain challenge myself)

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kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2000-04-19 10:51 PM

Abuse

Bandaged,
Swollen face sniffs
Cuts,bruises all over
"No,I just fell and hurt myself"
Head bowed

okay,this is a formal cinquain...another 5 line poem....the 1st line having 2 syllables,the 2nd line having 4 syllables,the 3rd having 6 syllables,the 4th having 8 syllables and the last having 2 syllables....
care to take on this challenge?

")

actually,i have responded to Marina's challenge before in Open Poetry#7...it's titled "S.O.S--a series of haikus for Marina's challenge"
dear guys,this may sound egoistic but i think that is the best haiku i have ever done so far and am eager for comments...so if u have time,pls go over and comment...though it's probably buried goodness knows where now!!!LOL

")

Marina
Member Elite

since 2000-02-10

Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario

1 posted 2000-04-19 10:54 PM

Kaile I like this response to the challenge too. Your Haiku was indeed very good. Thank you for posting here too.

Marina

Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member

since 2000-03-29

Posts 358
Illinois

2 posted 2000-04-19 11:04 PM

it's a sick world,these things should never happen. Thank you for this poem,it is very good and i think well done =]

swamp

And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

3 posted 2000-04-20 08:11 AM

Good cinquain...gee, all these different cinquain forms...I couldn't even get the first one right! I'll try this one I think, I'll just have to write the form down so I must look at it while composing the thing! This is a very good reply to Marina's challenge too.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-04-20 02:10 PM

Very good, Kaile!

Denise

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2000-04-22 03:47 PM

Kaile~
Nicely done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

6 posted 2000-04-25 02:59 AM

ok.. I'm game ^_^ umm.. any topic? right..

Nature's Jewels

Morning,
Dew jewels glisten,
Upon a spider’s web,
Delicate, intricate weaving,
Shining.

's this ok??

thanx for the definition, kaile.. hehe, you'll have to show me all these neat new forms of poetry.. I have never come across a cinquain before.. a tanka.. senyru ^_^

well, again.. nice work.. a challenge well met..

Lynne

Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-04-06

Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere

7 posted 2000-05-05 03:43 AM

*claps softly* Very good.

MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU,
MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK
MAY THE SUN SHINE UPON YOUR FACE
THE RAINS FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS
AND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN,
MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND

Irish Blessing

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

8 posted 2001-12-04 02:58 PM

Hmmm... This is good... Kaile, I just figured out what stumbles me about these... Haikus, Senryus, Tankas and this Cinquain... It's the limitation on words.

With the thought that you want to express, how do you come up with the exact number of syllables to constrain those thoughts?

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

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