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Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358
Illinois

0 posted 2000-04-17 05:55 PM


Do you know what it's like to feel like you've been through hell?
Do you know what it's like to have no one to tell?
Have you watched someone else struggle through life,
have you seen it happen to one who can't handle the strife?
Well i have.

I've been there, i've seen it, but i still can't help her, it's true.
i can't help the gurl, that's going there too.
i've been through the night with nothing to hold onto, no handle.
I've been through the dark with out a guide, no candle.
I've walked the same path she's walking,
i've felt the same ghosts, behind me....stalking.
But i still didn't help her, why??¿
I still didn't help her decide not to die.

If i would have paid attention, instead of pushing her away
Maybe we'd have been good friends today.
But i just shunned her, because society told me to.
They whispered in my ear she's not good enough for you,
she's a skank, a liar, a slut, and a freak.
She's not the kind of person who has the right to speak.
And like a child i listened, i let them pull me in.
I was just another preppy girl, with a socialite grin.

Only interested in what others thought,
i didn't have the time for her, she was just "NOT".
We grew apart, and a few years later i find,
i should have been brave enough to be kind.
She tried to kill herself, she slit her wrists, but she didn't die.
She's still left on this earth just like me, left here to cry.
I never knew, what she was going through,
i was going through it too.
And now, even though she's still alive, we will never be friends,
i lost my chance with her LONG ago, this kind of cut never mends.

I think i could have helped her, i think i could have tried,
maybe it would be better if she really had died.
You don't know what it's like to feel this guilty,
it makes you feel like shriveling up and wilting.
To know that maybe you could have helped someone like that,
but it never works, we never try,
and that's why so many people die.



 And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

© Copyright 2000 Tivonya S. - All Rights Reserved
sKiTtLeS
Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 113
wisconsin, u.s.a.
1 posted 2000-04-17 07:24 PM


Very emotional poem. Full of confused sadness. Well written.

sKiTtLeS~

 "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
-the words of a friend

Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

2 posted 2000-04-18 03:13 AM


Your sadness comes through here strongly Swamp,but maybe it's not to late.

Is it distance that stops you reconnecting with your friend?

Jon

twinsgd
Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416
Ontario,Canada
3 posted 2000-04-18 06:00 AM


This is gut wrenching S.F.and while it will be of little consolation to you  it appears you were experiencing your own turmoil and may not have been equipped to help her at that time. re-establishing contact may be easier than you think, you now have much in common.

Jack

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
4 posted 2000-04-18 12:13 PM


Don't give up...it may not be too late. Better late than never...

Love and hugs,
Lizzie



 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
5 posted 2000-04-18 03:36 PM


How often we hear this little voice from within and refuse to listen. How often we act and have to live with the consequences. It's never too late thought to try again and again and again....great poem !
Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
6 posted 2000-04-18 03:56 PM


Very moving and pwerful poem.   Maybe she should feel guilty for putting you in that position. So, that makes you both even to start with a clean slate.  If you really care about her, send her this poem--you've got nothing to lose.

~Gene

Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358
Illinois
7 posted 2000-04-19 11:01 PM


Skittles-thanks for the kind words =]

Jon-the story has gotten more and more complex,more and more terrible things are happening to her. She has had a history of having trouble with lying and now people aren't beleiving what she says about what happened to her....and i must admit some things sound fake,but this is the kind of story that you can't ignore,no matter what the persons history is like,you can't just say she's lying,because what if she's not??¿ Now i don't even know where she is,she's been shuffled around from one place to another all her life and especialy now...

twinsgd-yes,little did i know,but we were going through the same experience except her situation was SO muc worse than mine,but the same feelings were a result. Since her experience was so uch worse than mine,she went extreme and now her life is crashing down around her.

munda-thank you for your encouragement!! =)

u-gene-No,it was never her fault that we weren't friends,i was always the one that pushed her away,she always tried,and i never gave her the chance.Thanks for the suggestion,i hadn't thought of it...i will consider it now,your right,i have nothing to loose,now if i can just find out where she is.

Thank you all so much for your kind words,it has really helped me to express these feelings,i've never before told anyone the true way i felt about this and it's been riding around on my shoulder for so long,it's nice to lighten the load a little.

swamp

 And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
8 posted 2000-04-19 11:21 PM


moving powerful stuff that touched me deeply...yes,yes,sometimes i have pushed awat friends myself because i feared snide sarcastic remarks from my friends....
i shall remember this poem and use it to guide me through life,not making the same mistake again ")

i wish you success in finding your friend ")

achicade
Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 66
Marietta, GA USA
9 posted 2000-04-19 11:44 PM


Yes, it's never too late to try again.  She probably needs a REAL friend, eh??
)
  

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