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twinsgd
Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416
Ontario,Canada

0 posted 2000-04-14 04:26 PM


I got up this morning, got ready for work.
Put on my t-shirt my boots and my shorts.
Jumped in my truck,I had two beers for lunch.
And on the way there, I ate dry Captain Crunch.

My best pal and I took the stairs to the roof.
To clean all the windows, the job we undertook.
With our equipment into swing stage we hopped.
Taking care what we needed never got dropped.

The sun shone intensly, twas a very hot day.
So back up to the roof, to look for some shade.
We sat on two barrels to drink up our beer.
Said he to me quietly, "What do we have we here?"

Two big wooden barrels, that once had held rye.
The odour so sweet, it could make a man cry.
As quick as a flash, got the hose with a hiss;
a gallon of water and we'd make some Swish.

Now we had a big job and that was to roll,
the barrels around, and this took it's toll.
About two hours later we both had a thirst.
Two gallons of whisky, which one to start first.

We drove out the bung, poured the rye in the pail.
We dipped in our mugs and shouted "Zeig heil"
Octoberfest, nothing, had nothing on this.
For soon we were entering heavenly bliss.

One barrel was empty, we'd both drunk enough.
To lower the other to the ground would be rough.
Two drunks and a barrel looked good I am sure.
Getting down was quite tricky, I was on all fours.

Trying to keep track ,well how many floors down?
They went by too quickly, I started to frown.
Hanging on to the barrel, while flat on my back.
We stopped, I got up, hanging on to the rack.

As I stepped off the swing stage I found out right then;
we had stopped a bit high, feet, count them ten.
I fell ten feet down, and my head it did ring.
The barrel fell on me, never felt a darn thing.

Tylenol then or aspirin,I'll take my booze neat.
My barrel,it started to roll down the street.
I was giving chase as I got up from the prone.
Out here on the street, I now was all alone.

I now almost had the thing under control.
Turned round the corner and low and behold.
Squealing of brakes,a sqaud car at speed.
Sirens and lights, this I did not need.

The next thing that happened, a sickening clout.
My barrel was smashed, Swish spread all about.
I flew on the hood, my face pressed into glass
And one ugly cop who said , "Hey you, move your ass"

Next thing I recall was the ambulance and nurse.
I'm laying there thinking, it could have been worse.
For now it looks like my drinking is done.
My sweet whisky Swish evaporates in the sun.

By now I am desperate I need a drink
My whisky soaked t-shirt, I started to think.
I gobbled it down, I feel much better now.
A short time then passes, now I feel like a cow.

The surgeon examines me all up and down.
Says he " You are lucky to be alive now"
"I found out what your problem was without a doubt"
"when you put on your t-shirt it was inside out."

Jack



[This message has been edited by twinsgd (edited 04-14-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jack - All Rights Reserved
rich-pa
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana
1 posted 2000-04-14 06:15 PM


this was a greta poem!  i dug it alot yo, it had a good feel to it...it could stand as an excellent piece despite the fact it was only meant to be silly

rich-pa

 "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
2 posted 2000-04-14 06:58 PM


ROTFLMAO Jack this is hilarious ! Love it !  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-04-14 09:08 PM


ROFL   Hillarious, Jack!

Denise

freckles
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 160
Virginia USA
4 posted 2000-04-16 01:29 PM


Jack--ROFL.....this is great!!  Breakfast food of champions, cold beer and dry Captain Crunch (oops, the beer was supposed to be for lunch).....lol!!  Hey, can you include me next time there's swish??  Great work, Jack!!  I enjoyed this!   < !signature-->

 "Unto thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night, the day; thou cans't not be false to any man."---Shakespeare

[This message has been edited by freckles (edited 04-16-2000).]

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
5 posted 2000-04-16 02:21 PM


ROTFL...this is painfully funny, I'm splitting my sides laughing!! Great response to the challenge, twinsgd!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

  


 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
6 posted 2000-04-17 06:43 AM


Geez it's not eve 7am in the morning and I'm ROTFLMAO, Wow, this is great I love it, you met the challenge well.  
Jon Mewett
Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304

7 posted 2000-04-17 09:27 AM


What a tale of woe and delight.

Great funny read.I liked the ending like somthing out of E.R.

Nice One
JON

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
8 posted 2000-04-18 01:58 PM


Too Cute!  The only description for such a wonderful thought!  I think that every day!  Just kidding, I'm NOT an alcoholic, but it's nice every once in a while!

 Hope,
Alicia A. Renzelman

John the cat
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357
England
9 posted 2000-04-18 06:09 PM


A great story, hilariously told. Well done Jack.

 May your roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out.

Irish proverb.

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
10 posted 2000-04-18 06:37 PM


LMAO Great poem. Sounds like a couple of friends I know.  

~Gene

twinsgd
Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416
Ontario,Canada
11 posted 2000-04-20 06:07 PM


Thank you rich-pa...glad you enjoyed it

Munda and Denise ....Thanx for reading and responding.

Freckles... going barrel hunting soon ..will call if lucky...lol

Lizzie...Lost Dreamer... Jon.....Alicia... John...Gene....Thank you all for kind comments...glad you liked it.
Truth to tell I never Swished...closest I came was a whisky barrel I cut in half and put flower in...one half we couldn't keep flowers alive for two years...I missed my chance ...Drat!!!

Jack

PrincessPoet
Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133
Long Beach, Calif.
12 posted 2000-04-21 10:03 PM



This is a deusy, bellyache kind of funny!
Bravo
(If you only knew what I went through trying to read this poem- Interruptions of every sort)
The 6th attempt But, worth the wait



 Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up.
-Yoruba Proverb

Poetry & Friendship,
PrincessPoet


Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
13 posted 2000-04-22 04:05 AM


hehehe!! aah, what a jolly ending ^_^

well done, Jack.. a cheerful, chortle of a poem ^_^ very nice.

Lynne

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