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Sonnet 20
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Sonnet 20 |
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Lulu New Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 5 |
Although I map my way in solitude, I seek the chartwork of a higher source, That in due time my bounty will exude The profits of a well-directed course. For how shall tiny pilot know the way To reach the treasure of the heights of yore When buoy, sail, and sextant's gone astray And crashing waves against me I endure. Come to guide me, muse, and with your light Repair those ills of guidance now in place That I may clear the fog and foam from sight With lines that even time cannot efface. Chart the course that falls within your duty, That I may find my way to greater beauty. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lulu - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
beautiful poem, welcome to Passions, check you mail for a message. |
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Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
Lulu, Very lovely poem. Welcome to The Corner Pub. Sheila ...the earth and myself are of one mind. The measure of the land and the measure of our bodies are the same........... Joseph, Nez Perce Chief |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
What a lovely poem you show us here. If you work a little bit more on your meter, it will be a perfect sonnet. Welcome to Passions and welcome to the Corner Pub. Grab a stool....what would you like to drink ?  |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Welcome Lulu. Enjoyed this very much and look forward to reading more of your work. ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man |
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Swåmp¤Faerÿie Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358Illinois |
AWESOME poem!! Reminds me of days passed. Great job,Welcome to the pub. Swamp¤Faeryie And there she weaves by night and day, a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson |
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John the cat Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357England |
Lovely poem, welcome.  May your roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out. Irish proverb. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is beautiful, Lulu! Welcome to Passions! Denise |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Lulu, This is absolutely beautiful! With a minor meter correction on the last two lines, this is a perfect sonnet. I think you just forgot a word on line 9 is all... perhaps, "Come forth to guide me..." Excellently, written--this is what I strive for with my sonnet writing. With those minor corrections, this is a text-book example of what a sonnet should be. --- If you're interested, check out this post about sonnets by Nan: /pip/Forum22/HTML/000042.html She ran a sonnet workshop in the Poetry Workshop forum back in November--check it out. --- Wonderful first post! I hope to see many more. Welcome to the Pub, Lulu. ~Gene |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Lovely poem Lulu....Welcome! Jack From day to day, nothing so surely defines the quality of our lives as the unwavering affirmation in the eyes, in the voices, in the presence of our friends. It is through them that we truly begin to know ourselves; and it is their affection that assures our dignity and worth. - Robert Sexton |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Beautiful poem! Welcome to the Corner Pub!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Beautifull... Very beautiful. |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Beautifull... Very beautiful. |
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Lulu New Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 5 |
Thank you all for your kind words and warm welcome! Munda and Gene, The meter is fine. At the beginning of the third quatrain, the poem turns, switching from iambic pentameter to tetrameter(sp) to read as it naturally would-- COME to GUIDE me MUSE and WITH your LIGHT This is mirrored by the meter in the first line of the couplet. Do you not read it thusly? Thanks again! Lulu |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Lulu, Well, I learned something--I'm still a novice at sonnets. So,then it is perfect. ~Gene |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A wonderful sonnet to start off with. Welcome to Passions Liz |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
petrarch and shakespeare would have been proud i believe, you seem to have an adequate understanding of your poetical devices too, cool beans, keep up the good work, rich-pa "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this is beautiful |
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