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The Waters Edge
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The Waters Edge |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN 
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As I sit upon the waters edge I am reminded only of you. The way the waves gently crash against the shore making such a deep impact in the sand. like the impact you have made on my life. The way the water comes so far upon the shore and then recedes back to the large body of water like the way you get so involved in my life and then recede back into the world, without me. The noise of the waves crashing together, sounding so perfect and peaceful like when you tell me that you love me. and the silence they make like when you leave me here alone. The way the sand slips through my fingers so easy leaving my hands empty like the way you are slowly slipping out of my life leaving me here feeling empty, without your love as I sit upon the waters edge.  < !signature--> Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. --Louis Boone [This message has been edited by just_another_fe (edited 04-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Angie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is brilliant!!! You have made a very clever comparison between the ocean's behaviour and your loved one's behaviour. Great job!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Excellent Fe. I love the way the comparison is made. Very good. ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Just_another_fe, You bring out a poignant fact of relationships...that they ebb and flow. Your choice of waves to illustrate the point, is wonderful. In the best relationships, like the waves, the other person keeps coming back for more. You have succeeded in creating your first poem that doesn't rhyme. Congratulations! INclan The generous man will prosper. The man who waters, will be watered. Prov. 11:25 |
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John the cat Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357England |
If that is your first, I look forward to the next with bated breath. A superb job  May your roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out. Irish proverb. |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Great. First attempt? You sure? J/K Please post more without ryhme or with! Joy |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
Thank a lot everyone i was real curious to see what people thought about this 1 i swear it is joy lol |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
You did a wonderful job on this, glad you attempted to try it. I loved the comparison of both also. |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
Thanx a lot LD |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
I am coming in late on this but just want to say you did an excellent job, I could feel the changing tides in both sea and the relationship. Good imagery. [This message has been edited by Septsong (edited 04-06-2000).] |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
I just don't think that "attempt" is the word for it. If that is what you call such a brilliant arrangement of words, I'm scared to ask what a poem is. Ha ha! Alicia A. Renzelman |
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Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
fe, I agree with Alicia, this is a brilliant arrangement of words and goes way beyond a mere attempt. Sheila ...the earth and myself are of one mind. The measure of the land and the measure of our bodies are the same........... Joseph, Nez Perce Chief |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
as an ardent fan and writer of non-rhyming poetry i'll have to say you did an excellent job. as far as content goes, it was good for a love poem. rich-pa |
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