»
Archives
»
The Corner Pub
»
Haiku View
| The Corner Pub |
|
Haiku View |
|
|
Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. 
|
Squeaky entrance door Stale tobbacco smell assaults Overfilled ashtrays Gritty vinyl tiles Check-in counter all cluttered A dull witted clerk Crowded waiting space No verbal interaction Nameless bodies,still Trite, tangerine chairs Behind tattered magazines Avoid eye contact Harsh flourescent light Imbibe coffee concoction Neglected rest room Clock hands crawl on face Eternal purgatory Continuum rift The repairman smiles Bill, doubled expectation Mind numb, seeks escape Green, Presidents flee My wallet, so thin, retreats The waiting room Blues! [This message has been edited by Dennis L. White (edited 03-19-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Dennis L. White - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
Well done! You captured the bleakness of having to wait very well! I have this same feeling when waiting in line at the grocery store.  Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. -Edgar Allen Poe |
||
|
KimW Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 268Medford, Oregon, USA |
OK! I AM ENVIOUS! ROFL! This is excellent both in meeting the Haiku rules and in the imagery!!!!!! Wonderful Kim |
||
|
Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I see that your writing talents are certainly not limited Dennis ...  The imagery is quite excellent in this piece ..... I like this alot ..... |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very good, Dennis! Denise |
||
|
Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
I like how you combined all these haiku into a storyline. A tanka, perhaps? ~Gene |
||
|
INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Dennis, An amazing source of inspiriation. I am impressed with this series of Haiku. INclan |
||
|
childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
I can't say anything that hasn't been already said - enjoyed the way you did this. |
||
|
Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. |
Thank you for all your kind replies to this piece, your encouragement is the wind beneath my wings! Thanks again, Dennis :^) Poetry is the expression of thoughts which awake the higher and nobler emotions, or their opposites, with words arranged to some accepted convention.........or maybe not! Dennis :^) |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Dennis, this is great ! Love it !  |
||
|
Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
Dennis, This is terrific. The way you combined Haiku with the imagery is so creative. I really liked this a lot. Sheila ...the earth and myself are of one mind. The measure of the land and the measure of our bodies are the same........... Joseph, Nez Perce Chief |
||
|
Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Yep, it sounds like the car repair garage, they must be the same everywhere! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
