Autumn Leaves & Winter Windows

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Autumn Leaves & Winter Windows

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

0 posted 2000-03-15 09:38 PM

soaked leaves pasted
giant boulders by trickling streams
autumn's beauty recalled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tainted glass panes
frost's intricate designs left for wonder
winter window scene

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My two second attempts at haiku.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-03-15 11:01 PM

Beautiful poems, Joy! I believe Haiku should be a syllable count of 5-7-5, 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the third. But these are so beautiful, Haiku or not!

Denise

childomine
Senior Member

since 2000-01-25

Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL

2 posted 2000-03-16 01:22 AM

Keep at it Joy, you're definitely headed in the right direction. I don't know much about haiku and tend to stick to the 5-7-5 rule (when I'm brave enough to try it)

such as -
Soaked leaves pasted wet
huge boulders by trickling streams
see Autumns beauty

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

3 posted 2000-03-17 04:34 PM

Hey, what about 5-3-5? No? Oh well, I'll keep trying. Thanks Denise and childomine!

Joy

Little_Spyro
Senior Member

since 2000-01-09

Posts 659
San Diego, CA, USA

4 posted 2000-03-19 03:08 AM

I'm just going to leave the proper titles to the experts and say the truth--these aren't attempts, they're incredible successes!

Beautiful poems, Joy!

Little Spyro T. Dragon

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2000-03-19 10:45 AM

Joy~
They are lovely expressions.
True Haiku, perhaps not ...
but the English version gives many
variations.
The 5-7-5 syllable count is true Japanese Haiku ...
but you know what?
I'm not Japanese !
They are delightful to do and are really
good training in saying things with brevity.
Hope to see more.

Here's one just for you -

Yellow daffodil
Growing in meadows of mind
Spring ... springs life anew
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

6 posted 2000-03-19 11:04 AM

Thank you for the encouragment Spyro and Marge! I appreciate a lot!

Joy

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