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JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

0 posted 2000-03-15 09:38 PM


soaked leaves pasted
giant boulders by trickling streams
autumn's beauty recalled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tainted glass panes
frost's intricate designs left for wonder
winter window scene

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My two second attempts at haiku.

© Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-03-15 11:01 PM


Beautiful poems, Joy! I believe Haiku should be a syllable count of 5-7-5, 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the third. But these are so beautiful, Haiku or not!  

Denise

childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
2 posted 2000-03-16 01:22 AM


Keep at it Joy, you're definitely headed in the right direction.  I don't know much about haiku and tend to stick to the 5-7-5 rule (when I'm brave enough to try it)   such as -  
Soaked leaves pasted wet
huge boulders by trickling streams
see Autumns beauty

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
3 posted 2000-03-17 04:34 PM


Hey, what about 5-3-5?  No?  Oh well, I'll keep trying.  Thanks Denise and childomine!

Joy

Little_Spyro
Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659
San Diego, CA, USA
4 posted 2000-03-19 03:08 AM


I'm just going to leave the proper titles to the experts and say the truth--these aren't attempts, they're incredible successes!   Beautiful poems, Joy!  

Little Spyro T. Dragon

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-03-19 10:45 AM


Joy~
They are lovely expressions.
True Haiku, perhaps not ...
but the English version gives many
variations.
The 5-7-5 syllable count is true Japanese Haiku ...
but you know what?
I'm not Japanese !
They are delightful to do and are really
good training in saying things with brevity.
Hope to see more.

Here's one just for you -

Yellow daffodil
Growing in meadows of mind
Spring ... springs life anew

~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
6 posted 2000-03-19 11:04 AM


Thank you for the encouragment Spyro and Marge!  I appreciate a lot!  

Joy

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