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Sheilan
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 50
Snohomish, WA

0 posted 2000-03-02 04:27 PM


This is for my little brother Aaron Campbell who took his own life September 23, 1999.

Aaron - We love you and miss you....I hope your demons were finally replaced by angels and light...

LONELY MASQUERADE

The quality of innocence
  fades like the sands of time.
Each tiny falling frain,
  another particle of it's rime.
Every spiteful word-
  a dagger bringing pain...
Dull is the light shining from your eyes
  no sunshine seen through rain.
Everyday that passes
  you hurt a little more -
Drowning in an ocean of you tears
  with no hope of reaching shore.
Making love to your demons
  the only company you seem to keep...
Having only the weeping of your soul
  to lull you into sleep.
As you dream you realize
  the shadows haunt you there as well.
Making your only known escape
  an extension to your Hell.
Every smile is a threat,
  venom dripping from every voice...
So now disguising your feelings -
  you see no other choice.
Agony is the untamed beast
  battling with your soul.
Empty are the chambers of your heart,
  only your eyes are full.
A smile masks the pain you've hidden,
  burrowed deep inside.
You have no joy to share anymore,
  that part of you has died.
The innocence of youth is lost
  to a heart calloused with pain.
Shadows dwell in your emptiness
  knowing darkness will forever reign.
You are certain now for serenity
  your demise is your only chance,
Fallen prey to the arms of the Reaper...
within his final embrace you dance.
Left behind - a body, an empty shell,
  your dues are finally paid....
Life was a high price for freedom from
  Your Lonely Masquerade.

Sheilan

© Copyright 2000 Shannon Kerzie - All Rights Reserved
childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
1 posted 2000-03-02 05:10 PM


You've got me crying Sheilan.  I am truly sorry for your loss.  I can relate because I lost two siblings and one of those was to a suicide.  This poem really, really touched me.  

[This message has been edited by childomine (edited 03-02-2000).]

Little_Spyro
Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659
San Diego, CA, USA
2 posted 2000-03-02 05:21 PM


This is sad but still beautiful, Sheilan...I'll keep your little brother in my prayers!  

And I'll pray for you, too.  

Little Spyro T. Dragon

Sheilan
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 50
Snohomish, WA
3 posted 2000-03-02 05:30 PM


Child - I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you can relate to this...as I'm sure you understand already...does it ever get easier?

Spyro - You sre absolutely the sweetest....Everytime I log on, I read something from you that just makes me melt inside whether it was written concerning my stuff or not....Kinda cliche' so I apologize ahead of time, but don't you ever change....


Anyway, thank you both for the encouragement (and prayers) much appreciated.
Sheilan

Wikket
Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340
Santa Clara, CA USA
4 posted 2000-03-02 06:30 PM


I'm so sorry Sheilan!  I was at the point at one time in my life where I almost took my own life, and luckily, I finally saw past the blinding rage and depression.  May you find peace in knowing that he no longer hurts inside even though that leaves you in life without him.   :'(   --Jamie


 "I know I should have told you
But I was so afraid you'd leave
And now there's nothing left to say
Well nothing that you'd believe
I never meant to hurt you
With the things I couldn't say
I promise you tomorrow
While denying you today..."
by Stabbing Westward


JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
5 posted 2000-03-02 08:05 PM


If only your brother could read this now...This really touched me also.  I know the feelings you expressed in here well.  (unfortuantly)

Joy

Sheilan
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 50
Snohomish, WA
6 posted 2000-03-02 08:08 PM


Thanks Jamie, I do take comfort in that.  I also tried to "end it all" when I was 17 - just like my brother- luckily I wasn't successful.  It helps me to believe though that our lives never end in this space until we have accomplished what we were sent here to do.  Anyway, thanks again.
Sheilan

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
7 posted 2000-03-02 08:16 PM


~Sheilan

This poem touched me in a way few do! You brought me to tears...but Thank You. I do not know what it's like to lose someone to sucide. However I do know loss all too well. Back in 1994, my mom passed away due to a massive heart attack. It was a shock to us all and left my Dad to care for three girls. This poem touched me in a way to the very core of who I am. I hope the pain in your life gets easier. I can say this much...in time the pain won't go away, but it has at least for me eased. I now can smile when I see her picture through my tears. If you ever want to talk email me. Take care and God bless!

AMY  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 2000-03-02 10:08 PM


I am so sorry for your pain Sheilan. This is an excellent piece of writing. HUGS

Denise

p.s. it does get easier, it just takes lots of time.  

twinsgd
Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416
Ontario,Canada
9 posted 2000-03-03 07:28 PM


A truly incredible inside view. So glad your attempt failed Sheilan . So sad for your loss.
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