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Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

0 posted 2000-02-14 03:00 PM


From the Workshop.
Another unsuccessful attempt at free verse.  


When I think of the time
I still had my Mom
I see lots of memories dear
I see us laughing in the street
feel the love and care we all need

When I think of the time
I still had my Dad
I recall him behind the stove
Brewing one of his  recipes
his special ingredient was love

When I think of the time
I spent with my Sis
We always had the greatest fun
and in silence we shared our cries
when her first born, a girl, had died

When I think of the time
I found my true love
a bright smile still lightens my face
‘Though you died in an accident
your love’s with me this very day

When I think of the time
my children were born
I feel a perfect peace inside
A girl, a boy, gifts from above
never could wish anything more

When I think of the times
now all in the past
All the laughter and love I knew
Despite the sorrow and the tears
I feel truly happy and blessed

When I think of the times
that are still to come
I truly hope I’ll always see
all the precious things life beholds
while the rest of my life unfolds


Munda  

© Copyright 2000 Munda - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-02-14 04:16 PM


I think this is beautiful, Munda! I've tried to write free verse but I never liked the end result. This is really good!

Denise

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-02-14 04:22 PM


sweet Munda...
unsuccessfull attempt???
you must be kidding...this is great...
a perfect tribute to your memories.
take care, janet marie


 In the time we've known
That we each are a part of one another
We've lost as much as we have won...
And as our lives have grown
We have found that it only brings us pain
To hang on to the things that we have done...
***Still I love the times you've come***

Jackson Browne



Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
3 posted 2000-02-15 12:12 PM


Oh, c'mon Munda, you know this is really good. You're just teasing us, right?

I like how you see the precious things even through the heartache.

~Gene


Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
4 posted 2000-02-15 06:51 PM


Gee guys, you really got me blushing here with your kind words. Thanks  
Little_Spyro
Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659
San Diego, CA, USA
5 posted 2000-02-15 07:32 PM


Good heavenly dragons, Munda! How can you even joke at your work being bad? Your free verse is beautiful!!!  
You (and pretty much everyone else here at Passions) have to teach me how to write that good!


Truly beautiful piece, and talent, you've got there, Munda!  

Little Spyro T. Dragon

Nurse Crachet
Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318
They know where I am!
6 posted 2000-02-16 12:17 PM


Munda,  Listen to them here
        they tell you no lies
        A masterpiece
        was created here.

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
7 posted 2000-02-16 05:46 PM


I agree Munda.  Unsucessful?  I think not!  

Joy

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
8 posted 2000-02-16 09:28 PM


Silly Silly girl!!! This is not a failure! This is learning! You have tons of potential, and because someone suggested (me) a few things about it in class does NOT mean it was a bad poem. In fact it was very good, I only felt that it was a bit too structured, but with me, I CANNOT structure a poem (it hurts me mentally LOL) so be happy you can! Your version of FV is different than mine, I say Awesome! Run with it and try that "writing with your eyes closed" thing I told ya about...check my poem on the main site Ocean by }X{Angel}X{, I wrote that one with my eyes closed, it was quite fun!
Best of luck and I'll need pointers from YOU my dear in our next class eh?  
*hugs*
~X~

 Vivian Greene

~It is not our circumstances that create our discontent or contentment. It is us.~

Another Heather
Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 93
Canada
9 posted 2000-02-17 04:06 AM


to me the point of writing to help me see my life more clearly and it seems like your poem did exactly that. Very beautiful the way you sought out the precious moments life brings along with acknowlidging the bad ones.
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
10 posted 2000-02-17 06:42 PM


Sam ! You make me feel I'll be a famous poet some day !   Thanks little Dragon, with the golden heart. If YOU think, there's anything I can teach you, feel free to e-mail me anytime.  

Heather, Joy, thank you so much  

Nurse C, you honour me with your words and presence here.

Angel, I never said it was a bad poem LOL Just an unsuccessful attempt at free verse and I do see it as learning   And please, do sit next to me the next class, so I can "borrow" some of that great imagery of yours.  



untold sorrow
Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 12
aiea, hawaii, united states
11 posted 2000-02-18 05:19 PM


hey i noticed that you read my other poem, mind i u read my poem "valleys rise"?  id like to know what you think about it.  thanks for the sweet comments  
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
12 posted 2000-02-23 06:46 PM


LOL Untold Sorrow, when you reply to a poem, you're supposed to say something about this poem and not yours, but I forgive you  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
13 posted 2000-02-24 09:14 PM


Munda,
Wonderful free verse. It flows from the heart.I've been following you in the workshop.This, my dear, is not an "attempt". It is a very heartwarming and inspirational piece. If it brings a tear or thought to the reader, it is good writing.
Well done, dear poet
Liz  (I'm still attemting)

Sasikat
Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290
St. Petersburg, FL
14 posted 2000-02-24 09:26 PM


Munda,
What a beautiful, love filled piece.  It really describes the love for family.  I enjoy your work, keep 'em coming.  
p.s.  this is way beyond an "attempt"

untold sorrow
Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 12
aiea, hawaii, united states
15 posted 2000-02-25 01:52 AM


awe c'mon munda, unsuccessful my butt!!!  i love this poem because it's very brilliant in the way that you use such great memories which hold sentimental value... great stuff!!!    
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
16 posted 2000-02-26 06:41 PM


*G* everybody, you make me blush with all your wonderfull replies. Thank you for reading and your kind words  

Liz, I saw you posted in the Workshop...I'll be there soon.

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