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JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

0 posted 2000-01-30 01:04 PM


The well is dry
Not a single drop left
No water to quench my thirst
Only echos remain
Leaning in
I hear my voice
"Hello"
I shout
"Hello"
It echos back
A dry echo,
Coughing upon dust
Choking upon dust
It's lonely here
For company.
No question of that
For the bricks crumble
As I wind up a bucket full of dirt
Dust balls rolling over the hill beyond
Over dried grass
Withered flowers
Echos of life turned dead
I have one wish left
That birth would renew
Itself
Here.
One wish, into the wishing well
"I wish"
I say sofly
"I wish"
It echos back
Forlorn,
Still dirt rigged and brittle.
Bringing my head back from inside
And tilting my face up towards the sky
Dark clouds
Let loose
The beautiful, crystal clear rain
Pelting on my lips
Caught on my dry tongue
Relished by my refreshed soul and mind!




[This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 01-31-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-01-30 01:17 PM


Joy,
this is SO good..so descriptive. one can vision the wishing well in their mind while reading this...very well written, and I love the ending.Janet Marie

 Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding-
remain the most beautiful words ever heard.
Janet Marie



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-01-30 02:39 PM


WOW! I need a nice refreshing drink now! Excellent writing, Joy! I enjoyed this!

Denise

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
3 posted 2000-01-30 03:28 PM


I'm thirsty. Very nice and very descriptive.  

~Gene

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
4 posted 2000-01-30 05:07 PM


Thank you for your nice coments.  When I wrote this and after I was finished I went back and revised it.  But even now I think something isn't right with it!  Ah, well, maybe I'm over judging it.  Who knows?  

Joy

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
5 posted 2000-01-30 05:25 PM


You can be the only judge to that Joy. It must "feel" good to you.   But you know what ? I think this is great !  
Wikket
Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340
Santa Clara, CA USA
6 posted 2000-01-30 10:02 PM


Well thought and even better said.  Very thought provoking...you've summed up my life and a few others I know.  
--Jamie


 "...at night I cling to you I'm so afraid;
afraid the day will come
and I'll wake up and find you gone.
But you promise that you'd not abandon me
and kissed my fears away
but I woke up to that day..."
'Waking up Beside You' by Stabbing Westward

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
7 posted 2000-01-31 12:55 PM


Well written and very thought provoking.
You kept me reading this several times.

Rex




Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
8 posted 2000-04-14 05:31 AM


I applaud this wonderful piece of art...

 MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU,
MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK
MAY THE SUN SHINE UPON YOUR FACE
THE RAINS FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS
AND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN,
MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND

Irish Blessing

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