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Drink Challenge - Tequila Rose
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Drink Challenge - Tequila Rose |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sorry, the words Tequila Rose jumped out at me! Had to write this one! Tequila Rose She sat on the same bar stool each night A pack of Marlboro’s on the bar to her right The smoke drifted up towards the ceiling fan She looked like an angel waiting for a man Tequila was her drink of choice After three, it did something to her voice Her laugh was throaty and grandiose The barkeep called her Tequila Rose After six drinks, she staggered to her feet Another night, without a lover to meet Waving to all, she left the bar And threw up in the parking lot, beside her car She went home, paid the sitter to leave Then kneeled by her toilet waiting to heave When she passed out, it was quarter to four In the morning her kids found her there on the floor Every night, the routine was just the same Every night it was to the same bar she came Ordered Tequila, one after another Drowning the sorrows of a single mother One night she met a man who gave her a wink He laughed as he bought her drink after drink She blacked out at quarter to four Woke up at noon passed out on the floor Her car was gone, her money too She was hungover, didn’t know what to do The faces of her children swam in her head She felt like she swallowed a kilo of lead She grabbed a cab promising the driver a check Then rushed home looking like last night’s wreck The cops were there, taking her kids from their bed They were screaming loudly “my mommie is dead” She ran from the cab to set them all straight Crying hysterically because she was late “Sorry Ma’am” the police officer said “These poor little kids! Their mother is dead” “No!” She cried, “I’m their mother I’m here Please, just let me go change, let have one beer” Then the door of her house opened wide And a sheet-covered stretcher was wheeled outside As it passed close to her, Rose lifted the sheet And saw the face she hoped never to meet It was she, laying dead on that cart It was then she woke up, a pain in her heart. She ran from her bed and checked in the mirror Though ragged and tired, she found she was here A dream, she thought, a nightmare of course She laughed and laughed until she was hoarse! But that night she sat on the same bar stool Smoking a Marlboros trying to look cool The smoke drifted up towards the ceiling fan She looked like an angel waiting for a man [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 12-16-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Well done, Sharon! This is such an excellent piece of writing! What a story line! You had me on the edge of my seat! Challenge well met! (now go get some sleep!)  Denise |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
I should say! This had me sitting here with my mouth hangin wide open. I was so glad to see it was a dream. What a shame she didn't take it more to heart. Great piece! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
PoetdeVine - What a treat to find this poem. A tragedy that happens too often in our society. Saddest part is that they usually don't get to look past the covering of the sheet. I'm so glad I popped in for a quick visit. I kind of wish this was in Open 4 so it would get more read. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Who knows where our inspiration comes from? The name of the drink 'Tequila Rose' jumped off the screen yesterday when I read it. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with it but as with any muse, she knew what I wanted to write. I didn't want to end it on a sad note, so I made sure Rose's death was a dream. But then I thought, not all of life is a happy ending, thus, I wrote the last verse. Marge - thank you for your suggestion about putting this in Open#4...I think a lot of members never read any forums other than that one! I like to post in here because it's 'cozy'....I don't really write to get a lot of replies anyway - though it is nice when I do...I've had bombs that fall from the first page with only 2 or 3 responses! If someone wanders in and reads this here, I'm grateful. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
This is quite the engaging tale Lady deVine. I am indeed impressed. Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
You certainly rose to the challenge, PdV. This about broke my heart. Nail to the mast her holy flag, Set every threadbare sail- And give her to the god of storms, The lightning and the gale! -Oliver Wendell Holmes |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Well my dear Devine, I happened to wander in here and read this. WOW! You had me captured. I was like oh man, those poor kids. I'm glad it was a dream, but this does happen in life. Once is one too many times. Devine you've done a wonderful story here! APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE!!! <*\\\>< Jesus is the reason for the season |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
First class writing PdV!! I enjoyed the read very much....another for my favorites file... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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Fairy Colours Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169Sunrise,Fl,US |
This is rather good. It's a pity thoough, that the mother didn't learn from her dream. --A Little Fairy-- |
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blueyz75 Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138IL |
Bravo. Rings true to life very unfortunatly. One of those tear jerkers just like the ones I've heard from many of the kids I've come into contact with. Kelly I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sharon, there was only one "editing" comment I would make, but no one else made it, so I'm going to let it go... Unfortunately this woman hasn't learned that dreams do come true... Great piece! Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Very very wonderful.... I was on the edge waiting to see what happened... MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU, MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK MAY THE SUN SHINE UPON YOUR FACE THE RAINS FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS AND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND Irish Blessing |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
This is a brilliant piece of work, PoetdeVine ^_^ just great.. I will read more of your work.. this is just so good. ^_^ Lynne |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Hey! Why did u apologise? that is the best way to write a poem.. when the words just leap out at you.. ^_^ and.. it certainly worked.. u can't apologise for sucha brilliant piece of poetry.. Lynne  |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Oh boy, Sharon!! This is excellent! What a shame that the woman didn't heed her dream in some way...I sure hope it never comes true! You had me in the grips of suspense from beginning to end. Especially the part where she is dreaming, I thought it was real and my poor little heart totally lurched in sympathy with the kids! Ok, enough rambling from me...awaiting your next post!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
A gripping story, written beautifully PdV. Jack |
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JC Junior Member
since 2000-04-10
Posts 32Pennsylvania |
WOW! This was absolutely one of the best poems I ever read......I'm in awe of your talent! Thank you for sharing. ~Jenn~ "Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaves a flower, but only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf, and Eden sank to grief. So dawn goes down today, nothing gold can stay." Robert Frost |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Sharon, This was awesome writing, a tale told with a gripping twist, I love it. |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
This totally touched me. No words except thank you do it justice. Life's peculiarities never cease to be our downfall. Poet deVine, you grace us all with yet another of your wonderful lyrics about life's tragedies. Again, thank you. Hope, Alicia A. Renzelman |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you! Your kind words make me blush. I think this is my favorite type of poetry to write...a ballad..a story poem... |
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