Christmas Oddysee or That's MY rump!
by Radrook aka Rocko
I dressed up like Santa for charity work
White-bearded and sporting a bright crimson shirt
my beer-belly guzzled just to the right size
with charity brimming from both Christian eyes.
Before I got headed for my mini van
I checked on my livestock as recently planned
A buck and doe in full season with heat
A coupla hogs with a goat and some sheep.
The buck I'd named Paul gave a twitch at my scent
Which isn't abnormal no harmful intent.
I'd raised him myself and was just like a pet
I'd got im that doe as suggested by vets.
I went up to pet him as I always had
Twas something which never had made him feel mad
But I noticed him watching as I patted the rump
of his doe in the heat of the season.
He was at me with antlers aimed right at my chest
not open to reason or friendly request
pushing me past the barnís opened door
dragging me backward trying to gore.
I yelled out for help but deep silence was all
except for the furious snorting of Paul
His mouth in white froth gaping eyes bulging red
I began to suspect that he wanted me dead.
From somewhere three men and a lady appeared
Saw me as Santa a wrestling a deer
Thought it was funny at first for a while
but then noticed my grimace instead of a smile.
They tried to restrain him but he didn't budge.
"What did you do to him? It seems like a grudge!"
"The grudge that Paul has is I petted his doe"
"Ummmm, where did you pet her?"
"On her rump!"
"Well, there you go!"