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Ebenezer Caesar (The Misunderstood Freezer Meister)

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Mistletoe Angel
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0 posted 12-31-2007 03:39 AM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel

Noah Eaton Performs "Ebenezer Caesar (The Misunderstood Freezer Meister") (Click To Listen)

(You can hear me perform this loopy classic of mine about the effects of simple gestures of holiday cheer upon the loneliest and most eccentric of hearts via the link above! )

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Ebenezer Caesar (The Misunderstood Freezer Meister)
By: Noah Eaton
12/7/05

Ebenezer Caesar,
O, he was quite the caviler,
a burnt offering of mistletoe malaise,
hunts down with a Sharpie marker,
advice from Craig & Jane Hamilton-Parker,
and Anna David columns by the page.
The only Christmas tree he has trimmed,
is one made up of cocktail shrimp,
built from Styrofoam blocks and toothpicks.
To his ears, Ave Maria sounds like logorrhea,
is there a panacea to such preconceived ideas,
what can thaw his heart to Christmas bliss?

O, Ebenezer Caesar,
lives in a fort built from a Frigidaire upright freezer,
If you were his next-door neighbor,
you'd rather spend the holidays with an eyebrow tweezer.
He's as gelid as Stouffer's frozen lasagna,
but deep down I believe he's as sweet as Lebkuchen,
baked by your grandma,
O, meet Ebenezer Caesar,
the misunderstood freezer meister.

Well they say, "When you give to others,
you yourself are blessed."
It's the greatest win-win proposition,
so c'mon, and haul along,
that leftover half moon bay pumpkin bread!
And I know something that tastes just as good served cold,
how about some of my Aunt Polly's sweet potato casserole,
that'll make a whale of a wassail!
Holy Goldilocks,
all this fuzziness is melting your icebox soapbox,
he has a falsetto that slids like an icepick kiss.
Just give him just five minutes longer to deliquesce,
And in no time he'll do the Frankincense Arabesque,
darting like Donner through every province.

O, Ebenezer Caesar,
lives in a fort built from a Frigidaire upright freezer,
If you were his next-door neighbor,
you'd rather spend the holidays with an eyebrow tweezer.
He's as gelid as Stouffer's frozen lasagna,
but deep down I believe he's as sweet as Lebkuchen,
baked by your grandma,
O, meet Ebenezer Caesar,
the misunderstood freezer meister.

O, Ebenezer Caesar,
lived in a fort built from a Frigidaire upright freezer,
Come now, let's be real here,
who you kidding with that eyebrow tweezer?
He was as gelid as Stouffer's frozen lasagna,
but he's as sweet as Lebkuchen,
baked by your grandma,
O, meet Ebenezer Caesar,
the freezer cheermeister,
O' Ebenezer Caesar,
the freezer cheermeister!
.
.
.
"And his disciples remembered that it was written,
the zeal of your house has eaten me up."
Seriously, I'm not kidding,
your Grandma's Lebkuchen is a grace cup,
mmmmmmm mmmmmmm,
tell me,
does she use one egg or two?


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"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa
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Artic Wind
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since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


1 posted 05-07-2008 10:23 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Wonderful!

ARCTIC WIND
 
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