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Passions in Poetry

Snow on pine branches--Haiku

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skyshine
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since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


0 posted 12-14-2003 11:29 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine


Crystal cold white flakes
Gently floating in the air
On a winter day

Settling on green boughs
Blanketing needles and cones
Nature's ornaments.

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

© Copyright 2003 Elizabeth Costello Larson - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


1 posted 12-15-2003 04:05 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Well, you've succeeded in painting the scene in my mind, while my eyes gaze out at sand and scrub. Almost makes me wanna sing 'I'm Dreaming of a Beige Christmas'! *grin*
S Arthur Grey
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since 03-19-2001
Posts 727
woven by a poet's loom


2 posted 12-15-2003 09:34 PM       View Profile for S Arthur Grey   Email S Arthur Grey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for S Arthur Grey

Can I suggest an alternate last line for your first one?
How about "Winter afternoon"?
That would better separate the last line from the first two.
- - - - - - - - - - -

Freezing morning rain
coated the meadow grasses
Crystal afternoon

s.a.g.
Joyce Johnson
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Member Patricius
since 03-10-2001
Posts 10059
Washington State


3 posted 12-16-2003 11:24 PM       View Profile for Joyce Johnson   Email Joyce Johnson   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Joyce Johnson

Very pretty.  I remember those scenes, but not here, it's rain only.Joyce
skyshine
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since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


4 posted 12-17-2003 03:05 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

I'm glad I was able to paint a picture with words in this poem. Thank you very much, Alicat, S. Arthur and Joyce! And thank you for the suggestion as well, S. Arthur.

~sky

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 12-17-2003 06:10 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Elizabeth~
This is imagery done to perfection~
LOVE THEM BOTH~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

skyshine
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since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


6 posted 12-20-2003 08:28 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

Thank you so much Marge, that was really nice to hear!

~sky

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

wintertao
Member
since 11-17-2003
Posts 371
Okaloosa Island, FL


7 posted 01-03-2004 05:33 PM       View Profile for wintertao   Email wintertao   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wintertao

very nice !
skyshine
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since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


8 posted 01-04-2004 03:52 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

Thanks wintertao!

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

 
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