Snow on pine branches--Haiku

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Snow on pine branches--Haiku

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

0 posted 2003-12-14 11:29 PM

Crystal cold white flakes
Gently floating in the air
On a winter day

Settling on green boughs
Blanketing needles and cones
Nature's ornaments.

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

1 posted 2003-12-15 04:05 PM

Well, you've succeeded in painting the scene in my mind, while my eyes gaze out at sand and scrub. Almost makes me wanna sing 'I'm Dreaming of a Beige Christmas'! *grin*

S Arthur Grey
Senior Member

since 2001-03-19

Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom

2 posted 2003-12-15 09:34 PM

Can I suggest an alternate last line for your first one?
How about "Winter afternoon"?
That would better separate the last line from the first two.
- - - - - - - - - - -

Freezing morning rain
coated the meadow grasses
Crystal afternoon

s.a.g.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

3 posted 2003-12-16 11:24 PM

Very pretty. I remember those scenes, but not here, it's rain only.Joyce

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

4 posted 2003-12-17 03:05 PM

I'm glad I was able to paint a picture with words in this poem. Thank you very much, Alicat, S. Arthur and Joyce! And thank you for the suggestion as well, S. Arthur.

~sky

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2003-12-17 06:10 PM

Elizabeth~
This is imagery done to perfection~
LOVE THEM BOTH~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

6 posted 2003-12-20 08:28 PM

Thank you so much Marge, that was really nice to hear!

~sky

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

wintertao
Member

since 2003-11-17

Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL

7 posted 2004-01-03 05:33 PM

very nice !

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

8 posted 2004-01-04 03:52 PM

Thanks wintertao!

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

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