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jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2001-02-04 10:26 PM

I thought red might be a proper color! This is what Im going to send to the person Ive been seeing lately. Please give me * H O N E S T* feedback PLEASE!

'Valentine’s Ode'

The past memorable days,
Have been quite a blast.
You took away the grays,
And made my heart last.

To you I owe my blessing,
For being ever so kind.
Although it becomes stressing,
Upon my heart you wind.

I hope we’ll be one someday,
And travel down loving roads.
It’s hard to find the words to say,
But you earned this special ode.

With these words, you need to know,
My admiration of you will shine.
There’s one more thing before I go,
Will you be my Valentine?

Jeremy Raulinaitis

"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-02-05 01:08 PM

Hey jer, I think this was smashing!! I liked it and she will too!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

BSC

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-02-04

Posts 2919
New York, USA

2 posted 2001-02-06 05:42 PM

Agreeing with DD here ~ It's adorable and she definitely will love it. Bonnie

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

3 posted 2001-02-07 12:44 PM

thanks a lot... i really appreciate it.

"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

4 posted 2001-02-07 01:39 PM

You did a wonderful job with this poem. I hope she agrees to be you valentine.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2001-02-11 12:31 PM

I like it! I hope she does to. But how can she not, it's written from your heart....

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

6 posted 2001-02-13 09:51 PM

this is what i got for a response when i gave it to her... "Its cute."

Depressingly,
Jeremy

"Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark." - Jeremy Raulinaitis---'Fading Me Away'

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