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aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

0 posted 2001-11-09 09:46 PM

Confess to a Candle by Lizzy Vivian

Whenever I enter a room,
I light up a candle;
Which brightness brings me joy,
The moment of silence within me.
Softly touch the paper silkly lay before me,
I'm trying to think of something not silly.
However it doesn't matter how hard I try,
I've to admit I'm not a good writer.
All I wouldn't have felt it,
But what's really hurt is my feeling
Is that I'm so far from your touch-
I feel so cold in the room
That the candle is going to be out.
I sink into the very bottom of my room
Hoping to gripe a touch of your sunshine.
However I don't thirst you enough
To get the wisdom of your words.
Nobody could help me
Cause I've choosen my path-
To be idle.
So lost in your image
That I cry when I bend on my knees,
Cause I know nobody can help me but me!

Love,
Lizzy Vivian
http://members.home.com/home0/

~I'm a person of two faces, Who is neither extraordinary nor plain. I'm not the most outspoken

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-11-10 06:06 PM

Lizzy, I am not going to critique this, it's too lovely, YOU are a very wise lady.....

this is my favorite line
"That I cry when I bend on my knees,
Cause I know nobody can help me but me!"

I will light a candle tonight and think of you

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"
also wrote as The Lady of Shallot
"be true to yourself"

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

2 posted 2001-11-10 06:08 PM

A touching poem and I hope you find the inner strength that you need!

Betty Lou Hebert

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

3 posted 2001-11-10 07:34 PM

Thanks=) And I know God is there for us no matter who we are.

Love,
Lizzy Vivian
http://members.shaw.ca/home0/

~I'm a person of two faces, Who is neither extraordinary nor plain. I'm not the most outspoken

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

4 posted 2001-11-12 02:33 PM

You are turning to the right place. There is muich feeling in your poem. Joyce

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

5 posted 2001-11-12 04:07 PM

a very touching poem, I too like the serendipity of the last statement.

the poem deserves a fine-tuning if you have a spell-check and a trusted friend

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

6 posted 2001-11-12 04:21 PM

thanks. I will check all my spelling again. I posted a poem to Critic Analysis and I got so many errors! It was horrible. I hope I will type more carefully and improve my grammer.

Love,
Lizzy Vivian
http://members.shaw.ca/home0/

~I'm a person of two faces, Who is neither extraordinary nor plain. I'm not the most outspoken

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