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Stephanos
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA

0 posted 2001-05-24 11:58 PM


Do you (who saw it) mind revisiting my post "Counterfeit Excitement" and reading my last reply.

I have asked there your opinion about possibly changing a line.  Would like to know what you think.  I value your ideas.

Thanks a million.

Stephen.

© Copyright 2001 Stephen Douglas Jones - All Rights Reserved
Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
1 posted 2001-05-25 09:55 PM


Dear Stephen:  I have just visited your poem
Counterfeit Excitement and read it with both "sheen" and with "shadow".  For me, the word "shadow" seems to be more fitting and have a better flow. Either way it's a very good poem.

Betty Lou Hebert

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
2 posted 2001-05-26 03:06 AM


Stephanos,

Due to the untangible content of your poem, I believe the phrase "dreary sheen" adds splindidly to the irony of your poem and to me describes "Counterfeit Excitement" perfectly.
Just my opinion though.   Bob <><

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