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anonymous albert ?
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0 posted 2001-04-25 07:56 PM


i believe that as christains we all struggle wit faith at times of life where we question GOD on so many "why's" this poem was written when i was in those times....sorry if its not my love for him...and i do struggle wit faith.

to GOD


would you have a little mercy on this soul
a soul tired of living this way of continuous life
where there is an unrighteousness soul
that is within me giving me temptations
tempting me to take this one life i live  
while testing the duration of my resistance against this life
which i feel the last breath
desperately waiting for me to breathe  
but i trust that only you could care to help
a life where i find it hard for me to hold together and carry on
you only can i look up to for help
but i find it even difficult for me to find you in my life
a life that i wonder if u made for me to be
i try to be stable but the evil inside of me
brings me to hate towards this unfairness of life
how did this come to be
was this the way you planed my life for me
if so i do surrender to this battle against this life
please would you at least you acknowledge
that i fought with all my soul to see happiness and prosperity from my life

  
  nov.14

it might show people bad about be to be optimistic but it was really hard when i wrote this i knoe its kinda dark but..hope u guys liked it..
and i sincerely am grateful 4 my life and the great things GOD has given 2 me..but times get hard and i feel like this..
i got lot of hope..that holds me all together tho...
death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-25-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved
Joyce Johnson
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since 2001-03-10
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Washington State
1 posted 2001-04-25 08:02 PM


Your poem gives me a lot to think about.  I am sorry if your life seems so dreary now.  But it will change.  Sonmetimes just the weather can make us feel unloved and alone.  But that is so transitory and so are our other troubles, if we just hang in there.  Sometime we have to find someone a little worse off than we are to help.  That will make you feel better. God is out there.  Our eyes cannot see him, our hands cannot touch him, but our hearts tell us he is there. Keep your poems working for you.  Love, Joyce

[This message has been edited by Joyce Johnson (edited 04-25-2001).]

Stephanos
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since 2000-07-31
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Statesboro, GA, USA
2 posted 2001-04-25 11:43 PM


Albert,


someone once told me something which has stuck with me and proved very valuable as I try to walk as a Christian in this world. . . He said "always doubt your doubts".  When those thoughts, and feelings arise which tend to block out the light of day, suggesting the sun is gone... always doubt their validity, for the sun is there despite them.


Just a couple of quotes here which I hope will encourage you and excite you as much as they did me when I read them from a book called "The Training of the Twelve" by A.B. Bruce.  They come from his discussion of the "doubts" of Thomas.  

This one is discussing his confession of faith (after the doubting had passed)...


"It was a noble confession of faith,--the most advanced, in fact, ever made by any of the twelve during the time they were with Jesus. The last is first; the greatest doubter attains to the fullest and firmest belief. So has it often happened in the history of the Church. Baxter records it as his experience, that nothing is so firmly believed as that which hath once been doubted. Many Thomases have said, or could say, the same thing of themselves. The doubters have eventually become the soundest and even the warmest believers. Doubt in itself is a cold thing, and, as in the case of Thomas, it often utters harsh and heartless sayings. Nor need this surprise us; for when the mind is in doubt the soul is in darkness, and during the chilly night the heart becomes frozen. But when the daylight of faith comes, the frost melts, and hearts which once seemed hard and stony show themselves capable of generous enthusiasm and ardent devotion...


and this one speaks of  the ultimate blessings of those who have doubted only to more firmly believe in the end...


Those who believe with facility do certainly enjoy a blessedness all their own. They escape the torment of uncertainty, and the current of their spiritual life flows on very smoothly. But the men who have doubted, and now at length believe, have also their peculiar joys, with which no stranger can intermeddle. Theirs is the joy experienced when that which was dead is alive again, and that which was lost is found. Theirs is the rapture of Thomas when he exclaimed, with reference to a Saviour thought to be gone for ever, "My Lord and my God." Theirs is the bliss of the man who, having dived into a deep sea, brings up a pearl of very great price. Theirs is the comfort of having their very bygone doubts made available for the furtherance of their faith, every doubt becoming a stone in the hidden foundation on which the superstructure of their creed is built, the perturbations of faith being converted into confirmations, just as the perturbations in the planetary motions, at first supposed to throw doubt on Newton's theory of gravitation, were converted by more searching inquiry into the strongest proof of its truth.


I can relate to your struggles of the mind, as I mentioned before I am a "deep thinker", and my depth has often revealed deep doubts for me to grapple with.  But as "deep calling unto deep" the Lord is answering me and giving me an unshakable faith.  I know he will do the same for you.  If we hold on to the nail-scarred hands we will come out whole.


your friend,

Stephen.



Stephanos
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Statesboro, GA, USA
3 posted 2001-04-25 11:51 PM


Oh Albert,

though I don't want to praise expressions of out and out unbelief (which I don't think your poem was at all), there are many examples of despondency in the bible which show that those attested to be godly by the scriptures have doubted.

Ever read Psalm 88??!! ... I would think it was pretty depressing if it didn't have that redeeming word "savior" in there.  So even his outpour of despondency turns out to be an expression of faith (in the long run).

So don't apologize for your poem.  It's transparency and honesty is touching.  And God is close to those who are "broken in spirit."
Stephen.

WhtDove
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since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
4 posted 2001-04-26 10:00 AM


I've felt like this at times too. Sometimes life becomes really hard. We all fall, and question sometimes.

It's not the soul within that is tempting you, but the outward flesh. Flesh is sin.
Try to control that flesh with the spirit within. Listen to that soft voice within we so often ignore.

It's self discipline in the Word, everyday, that keeps our faith strong. I know where you're coming from, when it's hard to see Him in your life. Afraid I've been there far too long. I don't question my belief, or faith. I know I have it, I know He's there, the problem is not Him, it's me, not using that faith.

Once we 'fall' out, it's hard to get back into it. I was in His word everyday, without fail, and I've not done that in years. I can surely see the difference, and I only have myself to blame for that. Lack of self discpline.

I hope your faith grows stronger, for He is our Rock, our solid foundation. His word will help you grow in strength and faith.

God bless you.
I did like the poem, and I can really relate to it.  

<*\\\><    

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD


anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-04-27 03:04 AM


thanks every1 for ur replys..
i really am grateful for my fellow brother and sisters that take my sincere hurt as their own tryin jus a little 2 explain its gonna be alright...
i want 2 say thank u's 2 joyce 4 ur carin thoughts and Stephanos 4 takin the time 2 consider my situation and whtdove 4 ur thoughtful words..thanks all 4 my weary soul..GOD bless u all..

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

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