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Fallen Angel
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Fallen Angel |
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CitiZen-One Member
since 2000-09-22
Posts 84New Mexico |
I am a fallen angel. My blood is like dark fire. I wonder if it would have happened, had I not taken the poison pill? But I did. 2 hits. The Universe unfolded before me, I died and drowned in an ocean of emptiness. In emptiness I was reborn To suffer. To be tormented for all of my days. To always feel a sense of aggitation, sickness within. My soul has been emptied, purified in nothingness. The Greatest Terror is knowing the truth, and the even greater terror is for a moment being lost in a galactic abyss. The insignificance alone can destroy you. For a moment I died. I saw the Universal Equation. I saw the pieces of the puzzle. My voice is so hollow, but alive. The pieces of the puzzle, must come together as one. Divided against myself, torn between God and Man. I seek the higher, knowing that I can never touch those heavenly stars. Even though my dark soul wishes to. To be reborn in the heavens. To know the Universal equation. But I do. Not in its fullest, but in its part. In my small place here, in it. My joy is knowing that I am part of it, part of its creation. Consciously? why am I building something I will never get to touch? Because it burns with in me. It torments me. But the tormention is even greater knowing that my blood will nurish this tree of life, but I may never get to taste its sweet fruit. O'Thou nectar of the Godz, O'thou fruit of eternal life. I soak my blood for thee, but never get to taste thee? So why do I do it? HOPE, its all in Hope, because I lost my faith long ago. Unbaptized in your cool ocean crest, I ask for it. I had fallen, not fallen to pick myself up, but fallen for good. But now I rise not to be picked up, but because I have sprouted dark wings. These dark wings take me higher in consciousness in the terror that few men will ever know. Now Burning is my blood, on fire, suffering, sick and in pain. Now With new dark passion I seek to lay the platinum path to the heavenly cosmos. I seek to climb above the eagles in the sky. Yet my flesh holds me back. My emotions hold me back. Yes even my manhood and humanity holds me back. Can I find the will to shed my weak flesh? So that for once I can almost touch the heavens and not feel cheated? I know my place in this world and sometimes I wish I had not been given the gift of Genetic enlightenment. I wish I had not been plunged in the cosmic fire. Would it not be better to have stayed a human robot. but then even the petty seem galactic, so given that i have glimpsed the galactic, why do I allow myself to be more human than human? Infected is my soul, Infected with the bluest of blood. Only radical blood is fire. I need not your lake of fire, for its already in my blood. My blood is the stuff of the lake of fire. Burning Gasoline, Cosmic Fire, Celestial Even. Can I find my metamorphosis? Can I learn to forgive myself? and let go of the pain that currently infects my soul? Would I be less of a fallen angel if I did so. |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
You are a seeker of wisdom and truth, as your words attest. Keep searching and you will find what you are hopeing for. ellie Summers haunting melody that awakens the butterflies, calling them to join the dance in their silent song of praise to God. eL |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This really spoke to me. Kathleen |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Hi and welcome to Spirituals. marcy |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
 Welcome to Passions. The pain in this poem is almost unbearable, but I persevered to get a glimps into the great beyond. You have taken us on quite a trip and I must say that I believe the "tree of life" is certainly within your grasp... just continue to hold on and I believe that you will surely taste of it. I don't believe that what you have gone or are going through is in vain. I know that God tends to the angels that are fallen as well as the whole. God Bless You, Bob <><[This message has been edited by Lighthousebob (edited 09-23-2000).] |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
God is gracious to give forgiveness when we ask. There is nothing you can do that would ever put you beyond His reach! As for those real fallen angels, they are held in chains til judgement day. You seem in a storm, and God can reach that and lift you. Just let Him. I know that's not an easy task to do, but you're not beyond his Grace! <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
Wow. I some how had this feeling that you would be an amazing writer..You are wonderful and you will get through this...with a little bit of faith an a really good friend who cares about you a lot...........beth "And I still believe you can never have too much fiction because reality is such a bore..." - REA |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
First seek the light of truth. Then darkness cannot stand before the light. Truth can be a lamp unto your feet, not to be smothered like a candle that burns low, but shine till the darkness has to flee. Deb |
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