In Search

I embarked on a journey to find myself.
My true identity.
I thought:
I gotta find this entity
or lose this thing called sanity.

The question is:
Would I embrace it,
or resist?
The controversy persists.

I searched in books,
copied looks/ but still couldn't find a clue.
Spent sleepless nights and
countless hours in aimless wanderings.
I journey on;
still sure of this uncertain thing.

I looked within the eyes of him
from whom I spurted forth,
to see if I could find the answer
that would bridge this moat.
His name was 'papa'
and he was a rolling stone,
he never cared about his true self;
wherever he hung his hat it was his home.

So I consulted the minds of men called great,
to see if they could this search substantiate.
I found them all with hollowed
cheeks upon a street called straight.
they wandered to and fro'--
seeming their fate to wait.
Amongst them saw I Socrates, Plato, Euripidies.
King Solomon was there also, cried he 'tis vanity!
The Grecian conqueror was there held he a goblet high.
I trembled at this maddening sight
and cried, and cried, and cried.

Then stumbled I into the vale Philosophy.
Boy did that grab-a hold of me!
I lay down upon a bed of 'mirrors & smoke'
and took myself a great big toke-
after which I beheld a multiplicity
of selves called me..
I was baffled.
I thought the self was one..

Suddenly!
a flash of light.
S&M disappears!
In its place stood, dazzling,
a one beyond compare.

Said he with  voice that shook the air,  
"My Son depart this place,
for many a soul has perished here,
I offer you my grace."
Then said I with quivering lips:
"Sir I seek myself ,
the only place I have not looked
is on the ocean's shelf."
"Perhaps, said he
"that is the place your selfish self should be."

He touched the spirit of my eye,
that I myself should see.

I saw one clothed in ambition upon a throne called me,
upon his head a crown of lust,
his feet were shod with greed;
and firmly in his hand he held the scepter of deceit,
around his neck was hung a chain
'twas made of pure conceit!

Awestruck, ashamed, in mute disgust,
I stared, but could not speak.
Then spoke the one clothed in light :
"Is this the self you seek?
this self you think you sorely need
will lead you down to hell.
It masquerades to make you think
that everything is well."

I trembled at this horrid sight to think that it was I.
Oh JAH! come take away this self or I shall surely die.
Said he: "my son
just trust in me,
I've already won this fight.
I know the journey to the self,
I am the truth & the light!"