navwin » Archives » Spiritual Journeys » Spirits Windchimes
Spiritual Journeys
Post A Reply Post New Topic Spirits Windchimes Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

0 posted 2000-06-23 05:45 AM


The windchimes
are silent now.
The breeze too soft
to make them sing.
They sway so gently,
in silence of a
summers eve.
In my mind I can hear
the gentle song
they sing,
When summer winds
conduct their melody.

The Spirit of God
is so like the wind,
invisible to the eye.
Yet ever blowing
through our hearts,
that we might play
our song.

A soul devoid
of Gods Spirit wind
is a silent instrument.
It knows not the chords
to play it's part,
for the Conductor
it can not see.

But if our eyes
are turned upon
the One who leads
us all,
Spirits Baton
will fill the soul
with winds to play
our part,
and souls together
play their song
in perfect harmony.
< !signature-->

Summers haunting melody
that awakens
the butterflies,
calling them to join
the dance
in their silent song
of praise to God.  
    
ellie LeJeune





[This message has been edited by ellie LeJeune (edited 06-23-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 ellie LeJeune - All Rights Reserved
jfreak
Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA
1 posted 2000-06-23 06:07 AM


Ellie,

Hey there just wanted to say that I liked this poem.  The symbolizm with Wind Chimes and the human spirit was pretty good.  The one question or critique I have is the second three line stanza.

"The Spirit of God
is so like the wind,
invisible to the eye"

I just think you might need to extend this stanza or cut it out.  It just doesn't fit with the rest of the poems rhythm.  I understand why you put it there to pull the beginning and the end together but, it just kind of throws a wrench in the whole rhythm.  It just feels out of place.  I like the idea.  The use of imagery is good:

"Spirits Baton
will fill the soul
with winds to play
our part,"

Pretty awesome line.  

Poem just needs a little tweaking.  In my opinion.  And that is just my opinion.

J~



ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
2 posted 2000-06-23 06:49 AM


J; I agree, so I added a line where you suggested and it reads much better, Thanks for the insight. Ellie
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2000-06-23 06:57 AM


Like the spirit windchime's song...
so do our souls sing to each other...

Ellie, I love all of my windchimes [front, back and side of the house...] and you've transformed the beauty of their music into a lovely tribute.

Thank you.

Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~


Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
4 posted 2000-06-23 06:57 AM


Ellie,
  This poem is sweet music to my ears, and to my heart! YES we were designed for a purpose and if we attune ourselves to our MAKERS will, our very lives will be sweet music before HIM. Beautifully written.
Dennis :^)

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
5 posted 2000-06-23 09:30 AM


Ellie you need to post this for the book, it sure would get my vote.
Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
6 posted 2000-06-23 02:40 PM


Perfect, ellie, I love the analogy of the Holy Spirit to wind and windchimes and a song in our soul. Just beautiful, as usual.
deleeme
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 1766
NEW ENGLAND, USA
7 posted 2000-06-24 06:38 AM


Dear Ellie,
  This combining of the terrestial, the celestial, and the spiritual in such melodical harmony is awesome. Such a great
message too.  I give it an A+ , a wonderful submission!
                David

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
8 posted 2000-06-24 06:53 PM


Oh Ellie - Just what I needed to hear, the soft song of windchimes.  This is just perfectly beautiful. "The Spirit of God is so like the wind, invisible to the eye. Yet ever blowing through our hearts, that we might play our song."   I love this Ellie.  Bonnie

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2000-06-24 08:22 PM


Absolutely beautiful and inspiring, Ellie!

Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-06-25 07:54 PM


Ellie~
As I read this poem the wind is gently buffeting and the windchimes on my porch are softly playing.

Lovely, lovely thoughts.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Spiritual Journeys » Spirits Windchimes

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary