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Adultery ???? - Please Comment
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Adultery ???? - Please Comment |
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paulsm Junior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 48 |
OK well an interesting subject, let me fill you in. I am seeing a girl who has seperated from her husband, I am seperated from my wife and we are awaiting the divorces to be finalised. We both came from hard marriages in which we tried, almost to destruction to make it work. Her church has disciplined her for seeing me because we are still technically married, she is frightened and will not see me until the divorce comes through (6 months)  .I believe she is wrong, the marriage's are over, the committment is gone, we love each other so much yet ache for that love and comfort in our seperation. Thats what this poem is about. I am desperately seeking opinions so don't be afraid positive or negative, I just want opinions,,,, please. Understanding I feel an understanding, Of the road that you go down, The seesaw of emotion, When people gather round. ~ Your strength is often filled, By the words that people say, It makes you strong and patient, To wait another day. ~ But late at night alone, When you’re lying in your bed, Thoughts of loss and sadness, Are floating ‘round your head. ~ It sneaks in late at night, When distraction is not ‘round, And eats away eternal, Your mind it does confound. ~ The ache and loss within, Are like a throbbing pain, ‘Til people gather round, And you block it out again. ~ From pain you cannot hide, For it does not go away, It will lurk and hide behind you, And will be back some day. ~ You say that we are trying, To help the Lord along, But I think in that my love, You are truly wrong. ~ It’s you that I do feel, Tries to help in his quest, Read interpret words, And say that it is best. ~ I do not need a Bible, To tell what’s right and wrong, For through my very soul, I know the Lords sweet song. ~ For the Lord does speak to me, Through my heart and soul, In what I feel is right and wrong, I am bid to take life’s toll. ~ For words are often twisted, Of the things that have been wrought, Shading the intention, Of what the speaker taught. ~ So hand me not a bible, And say it’s the only way, For the Lord speaks through our hearts, With the words I hear today. ~ For we are made of him, In his likeness we are spun, He gave us hearts and minds, And the thoughts in there that run. ~ In that one way I feel, A true Christian’s always there, Its not just when you’re conforming, That they give their love and care. ~ Of nothing I am surer, I feel no guilt nor pain. For the love I have for you, From which I must refrain. ~ Slow Down, stop to smell the roses and stroll through the garden of life, it will be a more pleasurable experience. I think of you always Honey XXXOOO. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Paulsm, you've written a beautiful poem, though on a sad subject. Things like this really get me quite upset. Why churchs do things like this. Even God is a divorcee...He divorced Israel! I could ponder a guess on what "religion" I think it is but I will not mention that. Divorce is NOT an unforgiveable sin! And the church belongs to God, so I don't understand why they set their own rules as what's right and not right. A church is or I should say, it should be a place where sinners go. The problem is churches bring in too many of 'mans' traditions. Jesus said, "you have made my WORD of non affect by your traditions." You both have made mistakes in a marriage and that's forgiveable. Both can repent and when the divorces are final then you are both free to remarry. I for one though think you are free to 'see' eachother. As far as an "Adult" relationship goes, (if you get my drift), that should wait until marriage. Seriously, we should please God and do what's pleasing to Him. What pleases Him will not always please "man!" Sorry I have distraction right now and can't really comment as I wish to. I hope this helps though. Keep praying, and do what God would be happy with, for it is Him we have to answer to, not the church! God bless you and I hope all things work out for the both of you! |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi Paul! Thats really interesting and its something I'm going through, but not exactly in that way. I write what I feel and I cannot imagine much. As you might have guessed we were very good friends throughout and still we are. It was few months we got into 'mutual disorientation' and tried to look away from each other as though we were not meant to be even friends. I did sorta stab her trust she placed in me after seeing some profound mails from one of my friends,lets leave it there. I'll give all of me to her and I was expecting the same. I never bother abt the people around me. She's the one I love and she too knows it too well. But I realized that human relationship is thread-bare. If you do some sorta slight harm, will rip it away. I did something very very cheap, curse me for that. I'm a bit dumb and I realize things only late. But on the other side, I've never looked upon anyother girl as I see her. I never care about anyone for being wth her. I'll never be confounded by the surrounding people again. Never once I've felt the hurt or pain before in my love for her. Its not a plea for merci. Its from a heart which felt no pain or heart, just the essence of love tasted when being with her. Atleast I hope we both are good friends and finally if we our paths cross it'll be a lovely reunion,otherwise I'll cherish the memmories we have had. Its difficult to say bye,but I'll remain true to my words and hope someday all the pains that were brought about by my so called incessant nagging and suspicion will ease away and show way to some emotionally fulfilling love and a life which is delightful with all the splendor. Till then I wait for her to see me with those love filled eyes as I'm watchin her always. Sincerely A_L |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
It's hard to walk in anothers shoes But giving advice is easy to do Patience is a really tough virture Especially when it applies to you God is always in full control But gave us free will and a soul He's warned us about fornification And we're to strive for His will to be done Answering this usually tells the story: Is it for me or for Gods glory? Whatever doesn't glorify Him Is usually a self serving sin. God bless you both |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Paul~ Only because you asked ...... 'Your strength is often filled, By the words that people say, It makes you strong and patient, To wait another day.' Learn from the patience she chooses to embrace. You say you 'think she is wrong' ... she must feel she's right or she wouldn't have made the decision to abide by what her church recommends. I believe you should respect that choice. Find six months of comfort in His word and I assure you, the time will fly. Your signature does imply patience ..... 'Slow Down, stop to smell the roses and stroll through the garden of life, it will be a more pleasurable experience.' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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litefite New Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 2Midwest, US |
I agree with you Paul. However, you will have to be patient since she agrees with her group. I like the Bible version "The Message" "Don't tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They're a lot of hot air, that's all they are. They're completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us." (Colossians 2:18-19 THE MESSAGE) A good friend of mine has said, In effect, Paul is saying those who really live as your brothers and sisters, and especially those who have become more mature, will never seek to rule your life. They will encourage you to listen to the Head and follow him. Though they will be honest with you about insights they might have for you, they will never encourage you to believe them without hearing from God yourself. Our obedience is to him alone, our dependence is on him alone. Don't let anyone run your life, except the Head himself. Do that with humility, always listening for counsel or correction he will often bring to you from other brothers and sisters--but not those who try to run your life. Something to ponder... Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. What truth? *~~There is no spoon.~~* |
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deleeme Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 1766NEW ENGLAND, USA |
Paul, As a minister myself, I feel that I am in a position to give you some counsel, even though I have not been given to face the circumstances which you are trying to work out. I have compassion for you, but at the same time feel urged ask you to re-evalute your position. You make quite a statement about following your heart,feelings- and not so much what the Bible says. I feel that is very well misleading--(Roman 10:17'Heb 11:6/Heb 1:2-3). Feelings can be misleading- it is the Bible and not feelings-or what you feel in your heart--that must guide you, and alone can thoroughly furnish you unto every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17). If you search- You will find the answers there. What did Jesus say in Matthew 19? What did Paul say in I Corinthians 7?Etc. I will not tell you, and seek to enforce upon you my convictions, but I will point you to the source of true convictions, and encourage you to truly allow God's Word to speak to you- to become fully persuaded yourself(ROM 14:5) Be sure you know what is right(and if you are right(2 Corinthians 13:5) and follow through(Rom 14:22-23). If you are truly seek to do what is right, the Lord will give you the Power and strngth to do it(Phil. 4:13 & 19). God bless you friend as you seek to do what is right in the LORD's sight, David "GOD GIVES- but man must open his hand." (German Proverb) |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
I must tell you to checkout all the scriptures that David gave you, for I trust in his knowledge of scripture and The wisdom God gave him as a counselor. I pray that Jesus will give you the loving grace to do His will in this situation. Ellie 02 |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Ok Marcy, I hope this is the one  There was an oops here folks. [This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 05-08-2000).] |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Hi Paul, Your words are very heartfelt and I understand how you feel. Sometimes we tend to get ahead of ourselves when things we deeply desire come about. I trust the scripture not to tell me how to feel, but what to do responsibly with those feelings. The only thing I could possibly caution you with is if there are children involved. This is a time of great turmoil for them and I hope all is being done to comfort them. I am a divorcee myself. I strive each day to gain strength in my relationship with God by giving Him the time he needs to mold me, because divorce does make you pick up the pieces. I hope all things you both desire come about in the most precious way. The right way. And only he knows what that is. And he will bless you, in his time, with that knowledge in your heart. David's scripture he mentioned is a wonderful application to life. God bless you both. Sincerely, Rwood |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
paulsm, I think maybe your seeking approval more than opinions. If you read your words, respectfully sir, I believe you know that which is right from wrong. "For we are made of him, In his likeness we are spun, He gave us hearts and minds, And the thoughts in there that run." This doesn't mean anything except the words you wrote. He also gives us "free will". With free will we can become saved, through the blood of Jesus,loving Him and serving Him in all ways. Knowing right from wrong, if unlearned then we must rely on the Word, and here is what you said about that. "I do not need a Bible, To tell what’s right and wrong," ------------------- "So hand me not a bible, And say it’s the only way, ------------------- I am certainly no authority with matters concerning your situation. If she is obeying God, who are you to say, don't obey God? Remember, you did ask for honest opinions, I do have one and trying very hard not to be judgemental, but reality check time; "For the Lord speaks through our hearts, With the words I hear today." What did you hear said today, that she would or she wouldn't? God will not be mocked! With your comments regarding His Word, you might want to check out who is speaking through your heart. Good, Bad, Self, Other?? This is not being judgemental, just a informative opinion based on your wording and my perception. In any event, I hope only the best for you and your love. Look to Jesus for your strenth and wisdom, not man. Marcy [This message has been edited by Alle'cram (edited 05-07-2000).] |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
As I thought of your feelings you've so vividly described here, it lead me to write EMOTIONS from GOD, which I've just posted. I pray all this is leading you to a deeper perspective, which always greatly enhanses our lives. |
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
I take it you have gotten your Decree Nisi and are awaiting your Decree Absolute (It's been decades since I was divorced so my spelling is probably way off). Whatever you choose to do will have a lifetime of effect. If you love her you won't come between her and her faith. You don't have to agree with her. Only grant her the space to have both you and church. Maybe you could spend some time together AT church with her. I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday. Your line about having to refrain from the love you feel is revealing. You have, perhaps, to refrain from the physical expression. True love, in all its depth, is not withheld from you, nor you it. Kevin "Poetry is, at once, what you get... and how you got there." |
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