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Disgrace
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Disgrace |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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DISGRACE Comic relief catered to bliss, If but forsaken by a kiss, I stand in shame before my God above. The price is high, the pain is real. In all I touch, in all I feel, Somehow I always hurt the ones I love. Turning His blessings to my curse, Severing dreams, ignoring verse, How can I love her and loathe myself too? Or stand before you anyhow To shamelessly ask for guidance now, My Lord, I'm just not sure what I should do. Temper me Lord, please cleanse this sin That I may feel your warmth within. That somehow I may overcome this shame. That temptation won't become my snare, That your love may become mine to share. That I'll no longer be a blemish to your name. Michael Anderson |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Michael, I dont see how you see yourself as a blemish to His name, because I dont see it, but this is a heartfelt prayer to say the least, and He has heard it! So stick with it and do your part, and once again, welcome back! Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin* |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Micahel ya got me crying! I don't know what happened, but you know your Lord forgives you. We all do things we are ashamed of Michael, but they are forgivable. You are not a blemish to His name. I think your focus may be else where at the moment, but certainly not a blemish. We always seem to hurt those we love, for they are around when no one else is. But love can with stand that Michael, whatever it is. God can forgive you, so please forgive yourself! HUGS <*\\\>< When you can't make up your mind Which way is right for you, Stop and softly ask yourself, What Would Jesus Do? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this poems emotions touch me. very well expressed. I hope you found healing in writing it. take care, janet marie ..."when you walked into the room...I saw their faces--- did you know--you made it seem like time was standing still... and I felt---fascination...though I only knew you then--just casually... then you slowly turned and smiled in my direction... and my heart gave me away".... Glass Tiger |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
wonderful prayer...asking god for forgivesness is hard...because you've admitted you've done something wrong..but forgiving yourself...this, i have found is harder...keep the faith... "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~ |
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thumper4him Junior Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 27Newport Beach Ca |
Micheal, as a born again i completely identified with your poem. It is so hard to think about the lord's love when you know you have messed up. But in the same, that is the glory of the lord for through him we have been made perfect. Yet, it is good that you take sins seriously and truly feel sorry for what you have done. The lord will remember how sincere you are. Whtdv-i almost cried too  you can't make footprints in the sand of times that you are sitting down |
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Vincent Spaulding Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 59 |
Your poem has a quality and depth that is above par. I didn't understand every line, but I found identity with the parts I did understand--particularly "How can I love her and loathe myself too?" My wife often expresses to me that my own natural self-hatred is an insult to the man she loves. Humility is good. Self-hatred is not. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Echo, I am doing all I can to try to keep my focus. Truly I am paying a price for my sin right now in ways I never thought possible. God has much work to do on me I think. Rebecca, I always thought love could withstand any failure...I think I thought wrong, now. I know God can forgive, (already has forgiven), but unforgiveness in those you love or in yourself can be a horrifying burden to bear. Thank you for all your prayers and talking - it always helps to have someone to talk to to help keep you focused where you should be. Majestic, you are so right. elf forgiveness can be so hard...especially when others you care about so deeply have judged you and branded you. You tend to want to believe the label they've given you, even though you know your heart is different. Vincent, very wise words - I take them to heart. Thumper, thank you for the supportive words. I know my sincerity is known to God, I truly hope that accounts for something in His eyes. Janet Marie, I did find some healing in writing it. I know where I am at I have to reach to God, even through shame and self lacking if need be. He is the way, the truth, and the light and this I will never forget, even in the worst Darkness. Michael |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Just remember Michael, we can only reach Him through our lack! We all fall so far short every day. Hang in there!  Beautiful prayer/poem!! Denise |
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deleeme Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 1766NEW ENGLAND, USA |
Michael, I have been an admirer of your poems for sometime now. You have remarkable talents,which also encourage us to strive for more. But as to whatever failure by which you feel ashemed having disgraced yourself: The very fact that you feel the remorse, says something. The fact that You have been humbled by your experience is it not the Chastening of a God who loves His own? The fact that you openly confess the fact of your sin-Are you not headed in the right direction? And always remember, Disgrace may be what we deserve--But His Grace, He freely offers to us, not on the basis of desiring it-But because we Need it & are Seeking it. "Seek and Ye shall find!" "Our Creativity points to a Higher Creator--we couldn't have just happened, and for what ability we may possess--to God be the glory." -dlw- |
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OWPEMT Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 63389 Noble Road West, Shiloh, Ohio 44878 USA |
In each life a person lives, if he or she would admit the truth, we all come short at one time or another, being able to admit that and letting the Lord rebuild our lives and work through us says a lot for us, Through Jesue all things are possable, not a few things (but all) Let the Lord work through you and by doing so, others will be touched to. look forward to more, Sandy OWPEMT |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Michael, great poetry and confession, but truly a lack in much needed self forgiveness, or should I say acceptance of God's forgiveness? Are you refusing His gift for some reason? Who are we to hold grudges on what God almighty has forgiven? Ever think of it in that respect? I know it hurts so badly when the person you most want to forgive, won't, but never put another individual above God. I did that without realizing it and kept wondering where God was. God bless. |
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