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I Hate You, God
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I Hate You, God |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
~I am posting this knowing full well that people may not like it; if you are offended, I apologize. I just wrote it on the spur of the moment.~ I hate you God, For letting me be born Into a world I don't belong in For making me the ugly girl I hate you God, For forcing your only son to suffer For me and the rest of the pathetic human race Most of us don't deserve it- Why did you force him to do what he did? My sins aren't his; My guilt is an unliftable weight I hate you God, For not blessing me with faith A natural faith that so many others have Can't you shine a little light my way? ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Hi, Sys! First of all, we're all pathetic, none of us deserve it and nobody forced Jesus to do anything! He chose to take our place out of LOVE! And faith...ain't no such thing as natural faith....it is supernatural, indeed. And to paraphrase the scriptures (I don't have the chapter and verse offhand) Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the word of God. And even if you hate Him, He STILL loves YOU! Hang in there, kiddo! His light will shine on you. You seem to me to have the heart of someone who is truly seeking! HUGS ------------------ Denise |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Pretty bold statement here, Sys. It saddens me that you feel this way but I'd be lying to say I never felt this way either. As I offered in email after your "Why?" poem, I will gladly discuss any questions you have about God or the bible, an offer that's always open. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 11-19-1999).] |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
I just have some things to say...First off, I am personally not offended by your poem, for I have felt this way many many many times myself. These are your feelings and I can't say that you are wrong about how you feel. I actually see this as a cry for help in a way. Secondly...God has a reason and a purpose for us ALL. He has a reason for 'letting' you be born...and that is just what he did, he LET you be born. Everything that you have been through in your life so far has a reason behind it, though it is not yet known. In your poem I sense a bit of aggression or frustration towards God for the things that have happened to you, and not feeling worthy enough to have Jesus die for our sins...But aggression is the child of frustration. Frustrating circumstances make frustrated people, and frustrated people are aggressive. This aggression is directed to the person or object causing the frustration. One person will shout at another person. He will kick his flat tire. Both are uncontrolled, unconscious efforts to relieve frustration. If a person doesn't lash out at another, he may turn the aggression on himself, inwardly. Pills, the needle, and the bottle are the means of self-directed destructive efforts to combat frustration. When a person turns his frustrations into inward aggression, he blames himself for his problem. He thinks negatively and becomes mentally unhealthy. Feelings of inadequacy and self-criticism are normal. But when these feelings intensify beyond simple frustration, they produce harmful aggression that damages the personality. GOD UNDERSTANDS THE PRESSURES THAT WE LIVE WITH EACH DAY. He has designed a preventative, so that frustration does not have to become aggression. "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) As Denise said, we are ALL pathetic, that is true. We must work to be a non-pathetic person in Christ. I do not think that anyone feels they are worthy enough to have had Jesus die on the cross for us all, I know I do not. But it is for that reason, I feel blessed that He did. He loved us enough to die on that cross for us, for our sins. Your sins are His, because He chose to take them away from you when He died, you just have to ask for forgiveness. This guilt that is an unliftable weight...it is only unliftable because you have not allowed God the chance to lift it from you. Faith? What is faith? I think it can be said that most people, when they think of Christianity, think of the word faith. This is natural; the Christian is called a 'believer.' Unfortunately the great, guiding principle of 'hope' is forgotten as a dynamic force. Faith looks back to redemptive events in which God encountered history in His saving love. Hope also premised on that revelation, but additionally hope provides the joyful inspiration which anticipates God's powerful presence. Hope is characterized by expectation, patience and longing. Yet these in and of themselves do not completely describe hope. You see, hope and faith have a basis, a foundation, a guarantee when it is viewed from the Biblical perspective. They are rooted in the promise of God who never reneges on His word. Hope's view is forward and up, desiring and believing in total fulfillment by God. No one has a natural faith, we all must take it upon ourselves and what we believe and decide then if we are willing to have that faith. "I walked a mile with pleasure, she chattered all the way. but left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with sorrow ad never a word said she. But, oh, the things I learned from her when sorrow walked with me." (Robert Browning) But is that always true? How dismal a view of inevitable suffering, which everyone experiences at one time or another. From God's viewpoint, when you do what is right, suffer for it, and endure it, you find favor with God. It's better, like Moses, "...to endure suffering with the people of God, than to experience passing pleasure in sin." (Hebrews 11:24-26) For, "Blessed be the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction and suffering-so that we may be able to comfort those who are in amy affliction with a comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God," (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) God's promises assure everyone that, "Happy are those who mourn for they shall be comforted " (Jesus). "After you have suffered, the God of all grace will Himself, mature, settle and strengthen you." (1 Peter 5:10) I do not say any of this to force my beliefs on you, I just say this all in response to your poem. This is what I believe and you can take from it what you wish. But I am here for you always and I hope you know that...so with the ending of this rather long reply I send you *hugs* ------------------ ~*~ Time erases and rewrites all the lines. What remains is the poetry! ~*~ |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
SD, you do belong in this world. We all were put here to make a great choice. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. Because God is the ONLY ONE who will love you unconditionally, always no matter what!!! He is loving, compassionate and so much more. He understands exactly what we go through here, because He did it himself. In Hebrews 2:14-18 Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, He ALSO himself likewise took part of the same; (because He asked us to do it, He also did it, He wouldn't ask us to do something that He himself also wouldn't go through) That through death He might destroy him that had the power of death that is, the Devil. And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. For verily (truly) He took not on Him the nature of angels; but He took on Him the seed of Abraham (flesh in other words). Wherefore in all things it behoved (to heap up, accumulate or benefit, gain) Him to be made like unto his brethern, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconsiliation for the sins of the people. For in that He HIMSELF hath suffered being tempted, He is able to succour (aid or relieve, help) them that are tempted. And He loved us so much that to die for us was His choice, He was not forced. It was either destroy us all because of our sin, or save us by giving His own life. So it was either Millions of people or just One! One perfect one to save the rest!!! |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Truly Amy...you are not alone in stating this....if people are truly honest with themselves they can admit their wavering in Faith. You state yourself well, and are entitled to your feelings. Love You, Jenny |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Well, I for one, am very impressed at all the positive responses you've received on this! Speaks volumes of the folks we have in this forum! And I add a simple Amen to all that was said...I'd rather see you direct your anger toward God too, instead of yourself....for he is truly forgiving, and understands all the frustration we all go through down here on this imperfect world. Also, faith is not "given", it's something we learn - sort of a mindset as to how one lives. Like having a positive outlook, or at least trying to, even in the toughest of times. It simply makes the day a little smoother, a little brighter. Faith is believing in God and in yourself...in better things than what we have here on earth. Also, you mentioned an unliftable weight....the Bible says, "Cast all your cares (troubles) on him, (God) for he cares for you." So believing this just helps us make it through the day - knowing we don't have to worry about our problems, they are in God's hands. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Thank you everyone for all the replies....I will think about what you've all said.....Melanie, I know your not forcing your beliefs, and even if I did, I'd be a hypocrite to get mad at you for it; I posted it in this forum to get everyone's opinion, and I don't consider it as anyone forcing religion or faith on me. I DO believe in Fate....that might be contrary tomy lack of faith, or even a concrete belief that there is a God... But I just wanted to thank everyone for their replies.  ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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suicidal dreams Member
since 1999-09-28
Posts 343Toledo Ohio USA |
In many ways i have said this through the course of my life Amy but you put it down on paper before me. I have one to add to it I hate you god for bieng the norm in a world that worships you and despises the minority who worship not you or worship nothing ------------------ life is short kill quick |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Tom, I don't think you understand what I was trying to say. I didn't mean that i truly HATE God, you of all people know that I don't really believe in God, while I don't disbelieve. My point is, I can't HATE something I don't even fully believe in. Your addition seems more focused on hatred towards God. What I was trying to say was; in stanza one: I am resentful at whatever created me, because I feel I should never have been born, because I am the misfit, the ugly girl... in stanza two: I am resentful toward religious dogma for making me feel guilt for not really caring that much about Jesus. It wasn't MY fault he did what he did, but (according to everything I've heard) he did it for us.....and I can't help but feeling guilt at my own apathy about it, and I am resentful for that, and need a scapegoat. in stanza three: I am feeling resentful for not having the faith everyone else has. Everyone else seems so happy in their trust of God, and I seem so unhappy in my lack of faith. Maybe if I ahd faith, I could have hope, and if I could have hope, I could be happy, maybe. In the poem, I am simply portraying a feeling I (and others) often have; a resentment toward a creator, named God in this poem, for one's personal problems. I hope this clears things up. ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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mojar Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 169granbury, texas, usa |
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, i know not what your physical appearance be, but the beauty that shows within our soul, is there for all to see. i think your poem is a very artistic display and need not be explained. mo. |
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jessebf New Member
since 1999-11-22
Posts 4Fort Worth, Texas, USA |
I empathize with you. I get a feeling of pain, disappointment and discouragement. You are very much in touch with your feelings. I hope that ,as many of us do, you find your way. Even though it may seem dark and stolid; stoic, press on an be a prodigal daughter and find your own way to understanding. I wish you the best of luck my sister because it can be a lifelong journey. ------------------ Communication. Utilize it, Command it, Get with it. |
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Femme's Father Member
since 1999-10-30
Posts 58Carrollton, TX, USA |
Honest heart, SD, and that is a great plus for you, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. God loves an honest heart,first of all. Step 1 OK, you are already on the right path SD. Now all you need is patience, and that comes with time and much of what you are now experiencing.TRUTH! To make a sword durable for battle, you must first of all heat it in the fire of a furnace {hell}(fiery trial}, in order that it will endure the battle of life. I would say that God has a great plan for you SD, if you will relax and let the storms in your mind become calm. One of my greatest problems is trying to figure out what is happening to me and why do I deserve it? The word of God says for us to rejoice when we see fiery trials come our way,and that is really hard for my carnal{natural}mind to understand,but basicly when we go through troubles in this world, it is not Gods fault! He made everything perfect in the beginning, but man(Adam&Eve) messed it all up when they listened to and believed the devil(the father of all lies). The principals of the universe that God set into motion are far to complex for us to understand fully,so that is why we need to just trust all the things to Him and know that He holds us and the whole universe in the palm of his hand,and you SD He holds in the very midst of His huge loving heart. If you will enter into a calm within your mind, and relax in the spirit, you will feel this love flow over you like a blanket of warm honey. In order for you to live you first of all must die within yourself(the man of flesh). And, if you will be willing to die out to yourself, then you can live within the spirit. For we are not only flesh and blood,but we are also spirit. The flesh must die some day (literally), but the spirit (the inner-man)will never die. SD, simply surrender yourself to God(put yourself in His care or hands)and live one day at a time and try to do nothing wrong or evil as best you can, and if you do, simply ask God to forgive you and you will be forgiven, and you will start finding a peace within yourself that you never had before. It's called the Love of God . Bless you in all that you do that is right & wholesome. ------------------ A man's heart often cannot see the light - because of the darkness of it's own motives.... - James David |
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