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Kenneth Ray Taylor
Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139
Duluth, Minnesota, USA

0 posted 1999-11-13 07:27 AM


This is my wife's favorite of all my poems. It's also one of my earliest.

The Ten Words
(Exodus 20; Deuteronomy 5)

The mountain smoked, the thunder pealed,
when Ten Commandments God revealed.
He's saved us; we're no longer slaves!
So this is how we must behave:

1
Our God and Savior up above
deserves our first and foremost love.
Whatever else that we put first
becomes our god and brings a curse.

2
Demanding loyalty, God says
we must not worship images.
For He is God, and He alone;
His likeness can't be carved from stone.

3
In reverence we should speak His name.
Don't use it in a careless way.
For God will punish those who do.
I pray it be not me nor you!

4
Six days we work, then take off one
to contemplate what God has done.
For God created all in six
then threw a Sabbath in the mix.


5
Give your parents honor due.
If not for them, there'd be no you.
And may you find, when you are old,
your children treat you good as gold.

6
Of all God's creatures only us
were made in His own image. Thus
we must respect each human life,
not murder, hate, or gender strife.

7
And what is dear to man as life,
if not his spouse, his friend, his wife?
So venture not to share your bed
with any but to whom you're wed.

8
The things you have should be enough.
So don't you swipe your neighbor's stuff.
And this is only fair, of course,
that he must keep his hands off yours.

9
Speak well of folks; and as you do,
be sure that what you say is true.
And if some evil you must say,
then say it in the kindest way.

10
Do not desire your neighbor's spouse
nor anything within his house.
For envy robs one's peace of mind.
In your own gifts contentment find.

[When I originally posted this poem, the first two lines read:

The mountain smoked, the thunder pealed,
when these Ten Words our God revealed.

But everyone liked this altered version better, and so do I. Thank you all for your advice and help.]




[This message has been edited by Kenneth Ray Taylor (edited 11-20-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Kenneth Ray Taylor - All Rights Reserved
Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
1 posted 1999-11-13 08:12 AM


Kenneth, I agree. You might also consider;

when these Ten works our God revealed.

or something similar.


------------------
I look forward to tomorrow, while looking back on the past. But today is the day I am living. And I expect it to be a great day!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 1999-11-13 08:25 AM


A nice view on the Ten Commandments. I like the second version of the first two lines better
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 1999-11-13 09:50 AM


I love this...Wonderfully done Sir. I too like the revision of the first two lines.
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
4 posted 1999-11-14 05:18 AM


Wonderful work here Kenneth. Personally, I like:

The mountain smoked, the thunder pealed,
when Ten Commandments God revealed.

If you have any more spiritual poetry I would like to invite you to check out the "Spiritual Forum"...of course you can just go there to read if you don't have any more... Good poem.


Michael


Kenneth Ray Taylor
Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139
Duluth, Minnesota, USA
5 posted 1999-11-14 09:33 AM


Michael,
Thank you for the invitation to the Spirtual Forum. I didn't realize there was one. Yes,
I've written many religious poems as well as secular ones. I've decided to change the opening lines, since everyone seems to like the revision better.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 1999-11-14 09:54 AM


This is beautiful. A great way to remember the 10 Commandments. Glad you found your way to our family!
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 1999-11-16 04:02 PM


I transferred this poem here from the open forum, (with Kenneth's permission of course),
in hopes it would better reach the desired audience here.

The ten commandments...can you imagine what life would be like for just one day if everyone obeyed them? They, like too many other things in this life are taken for granted. These are the words of God, they should be foremost in all thoughts and actions,(in my opinion, anyway). Kenneth, thanks for bringing these back into focus.


Michael

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
8 posted 1999-11-16 06:32 PM


I have to say that I like
"The mountain smoked, the thunder pealed, when Ten Commandments God revealed."
better myself. As for the poem, this is a great poem and a great way to remember the ten commandments! I have to agree with Michael though, 'what' if eveyone in the world obeyed them for one day..imagine what that day would be like, imagine how great everyone would feel! This is a great poem and thank you Michael for moving it over here!


------------------
~*~ Time erases and rewrites all the lines. What remains is the poetry! ~*~


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
9 posted 1999-11-16 07:56 PM


This was fantastic! I loved it. I'm gonna print this out if that's ok with you??

And maybe add a the in there...
When the Ten Commandements God revealed.

Excellent work Kenneth!

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
10 posted 1999-11-17 08:38 AM


A wonderful piece Kenneth. I also like the revision of the first lines.

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A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!


Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
11 posted 1999-11-18 11:29 PM


Well done Kenneth and a very original piece.
deleeme
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 1766
NEW ENGLAND, USA
12 posted 1999-11-19 06:13 PM


I never saw such a poetic treatment of the ten commandments--but I like this very well-You are to be commended, The Lord be praised.

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"Our Creativity points to a Higher Creator--we couldn't have just happened, and for what ability we may possess--to God be the glory." -dlw-

Kenneth Ray Taylor
Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139
Duluth, Minnesota, USA
13 posted 1999-11-20 11:24 AM


I'm flattered by anyone who wants to use my poem. I originally wrote it because I was upset about a co-worker who constantly used the Lord's name in vain. It isn't that I have delicate ears. It's just that I know that God said, "I will not hold him guiltless who takes my name in vain." And I don't want anyone I care about to be on the wrong side of that "promise."
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